


A Friendly Agreement

by FluffMonster42



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-11-23 17:11:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 76,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18154700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffMonster42/pseuds/FluffMonster42
Summary: Jyn and Cassian have been friends for years, not that it started that way.  It'd be ridiculous to think they could be anything more.  One silly decision at your brother's wedding can't change that, right?RATING WENT UP (Honestly I was re-watching Friends and got inspired to do an AU. I tried to make this a PWP, but the plot kept sneaking back in - you've been warned)





	1. The One With The Wedding

“Want to dance?” a warm voice asked coming up behind her.

“You know I don’t dance,” she said dryly taking another slow drink of her wine. She’d been nursing it for almost an hour now as the festivities continued.

“Come on,” he cajoled dropping himself into the chair next to her and gesturing to the dance floor. “That doesn’t even really count as dancing. It’s mostly just swaying. You should be able to handle that.”

“Not going to happen, Andor.”

“How about after another drink?”

“If you’re so desperate to dance, go ask Kay.”

Cassian gave a short laugh. “Kay always tries to lead and can only do the waltz.”

“Ask Shara.”

“Already taken by Kes,” he said pointing out on the dance floor where the couple was doing more making out than dancing.

“How about Leia?”

“Her and Han disappeared into the garden about an hour ago and they’re either still fighting or starting in on the other type of foreplay.”

She rolled her eyes. “You could ask to cut in on Bodhi and Luke?”

“And interrupt the happy couple? I would never. Come on, Jyn, just one dance, humor me. It’s your brother’s wedding for goodness sake.”

“Brother’s wedding or not, I still don’t dance,” Jyn said resolutely.

“It’s really not that hard.”

“Says you,” Jyn snorted. “You always look like you know what you’re doing. I always look like a floundering idiot.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen it before,” Cassian teased. Jyn shot him a glare that dared him to go on. She swore she was going to punch him in the face if he brought up the high school dance where she’d been spun into the refreshment table, ass-first into the punch bowl, by an overeager Ruescott Melshi. A freshman at the time, she hadn’t thought she could be anymore embarrassed, but when her well-liked brother and his other junior friends, including Cassian, and started to laugh she’d thought she was going to die. Bodhi had of course apologized the second he’d realized she was upset, but the damage had been done and she’d decided dancing wasn’t her thing.

“I’ll make you look good, just trust me.”

“No dice, I don’t trust anyone that much,” Jyn shrugged.

“You danced with your father earlier.”

“Yeah, well, my father has better threats than you,” she said moodily. Her generally absentee father had played the one card he knew she wouldn’t fight – it’s what your mother would have wanted. So she’d let him spin her around the dance floor once and done a quick dance with Bodhi before stubbornly finding a chair to watch the revelries from afar. Cassian wouldn’t be stupid or tasteless enough to try and evoke her mother’s memory just to get her to dance though.

“Hey, I’m sure I can find some sort of blackmail to use if that’s what it takes.” Cassian gave her a slow dangerous smile. “I’m sure everyone would love the story about the time I caught you practicing kissing on a pillow.”

“Don’t you dare, Andor,” Jyn threatened. She’d been 14 at the time and thought she was home alone. Cassian had always been naturally stealthy and he’d slipped into the living room looking for some CD Bodhi had sent him searching for. “If you even think about it, I’ll tell Han who told Leia about his and Lando’s trip to the strip club last month.”

The grin quickly morphed into a glare. “You play dirty.”

“You’re the one who narced to Leia.”

“I thought she knew! I didn’t think Han was brave enough or stupid enough to go to a strip club without telling her,” Cassian defended. “Besides I’ve already suffered for that. I was home when she decided to light into him about it, to which he decided his best defense was saying that strippers needed to make a living too.” Jyn winced at that. “Yeah, that resulted in a two hour long fight that ranged from yelling about toxic masculinity, honesty in a relationship, and defending sex workers rights without being the one to employ them.”

“You’re just lucky she decided to do it in your guys’ apartment and not ours, or you would have had to deal with my wrath too,” Jyn shot back. She’d been trapped by more than one of Leia and Han’s fights in their apartment. Cassian and her had rotated putting up with the volatile couple since Han had first become roommates with Cassian two years ago. Bodhi had moved out to move in with Luke, and Luke had recommended his new friend Han as a good replacement since Kay refused to live with anyone. Jyn still wasn’t sure what Luke had been thinking despite it seeming to have worked out in the end.

Jyn was just thankful that after a year and a half of pure fighting her roommate and Han had finally admitted their mutual attraction. Given she’d now heard some uncomfortable things through their shared bedroom wall and it was always an on-again, off-again affair, but Jyn figured it was too late to replace her entire friend set.

Jyn and Leia had met in a women’s studies class sophomore year of college and had bonded over ripping the patriarchy a new one. After college they had decided to be roommates and moved into the apartment across the hall from her brother and Cassian. Between three years in college and four years living together after, she figured she and Leia were lifers.

“Jyn, please? I’m bored. Kay already headed back to the hotel and everyone is pairing off.”

“So go get another drink. There must be some other eligible woman here for you to hit on.”

“I literally know everyone at this wedding. There isn’t. Dance with me.”

“Never,” Jyn said decisively. “But you can get me another drink while you’re getting your own.”

Cassian grumbled but headed off and Jyn grinned. She enjoyed annoying Cassian, since she’d always felt too guilty to really give Bodhi a hard time as he was so tender hearted. Her father had adopted him when Jyn was 6 and Bodhi was 9. Bodhi and Jyn’s mothers had been friends since college and colleagues after that. When Galen’s job had taken them to America, the Rooks had followed shortly after as Lyra was able to get a job for Bodhi’s mother working alongside her at a university. They’d both been killed in the same terrible car accident about a year later. With no other family to take Bodhi in Galen had adopted him, not that her already distraught father had known what to do with another child. He hadn’t even known how to handle his own after her mother’s passing and buried himself in his work. Jyn was grateful every day of her life that at least she and Bodhi had had each other to cling to.

In fact, it’d probably made them overly attached to each other, which was most likely partially to blame for why she’d originally hated Cassian. When Bodhi had first brought his new friend home to work on a school project somewhere in the middle of his freshman year of high school, Cassian had seemed cold and unfriendly and had dismissed Jyn almost immediately, being particularly condescending when she’d made a suggestion on the boys’ project, which had quickly devolved into a shouting match. Bodhi had made the fatal mistake of backing up Cassian instead of siding with her, which was rare in and of itself, and she would realize years later that that may have been due to Bodhi having a slight crush on Cassian at the start, but at the time she may have called them both assholes and stormed away to sulk in her room. Jyn had made a point of giving him the cold shoulder whenever Bodhi brought him over after that, which had also been an insult in and of itself that Bodhi still wanted to hang out with him when Jyn so clearly disapproved, and Cassian had barely acknowledged her presence in return.

Things probably would have stayed that way if Jyn hadn’t realized Cassian was almost as fiercely protective of his friends as she was, not that she’d had many friends outside of her brother at the time. She’d been at one of her brother’s soccer matches and overheard some boys making fun of Bodhi behind his back. She’d been about to round the corner of the concession stand and intervene when Cassian had showed up out of nowhere and verbally destroyed them, second language not holding him back for a moment. In fact she’d looked up some of the Spanish words he’d laced into the tirade later and been even more impressed. He hadn’t known she was there and she’d never told him, but she’d gone out of her way to be nicer to him after that and, while confused, he’d ultimately responded in kind.

They hadn’t really gotten close until college though, when Cassian had taken computer science as an elective his junior year and had had to swallow his pride and ask her freshman self for help. Not to mention she often crashed at his and Bodhi’s off-campus apartment when her randomly assigned freshman year roommate turned out to be more interested in fucking every dude she could get her hands on rather than attending college classes or sleeping. Even after that roommate, Bodhi and Cassian hadn’t been able to get rid of her once she’d realized Cassian knew how to cook. She was pretty sure Cassian enjoyed feeding people even though he’d never admit it and always grumbled about her being a mooch.

A glass of wine materialized in front of her and she beamed. “Took you long enough.”

“My apologies, I didn’t realize you were waiting for me.”

Jyn froze as she reached for the glass. She knew that oily voice and worked to make her face neutral. “Mr. Krennic.”

“Jynnie, how many times have I told you to call me Orson?” the man said settling into the seat next to her.

Jyn gave him a smile that probably looked more like a grimace, but she’d never been good at hiding her feelings so it was the best she could do. Krennic had worked with her father ever since she was a child. Her mother had never liked him, nor her godfather Saw Gerrera, and as Jyn grew up she’d started to see why. The man was a snake of the first order, still he was a good money man and lobbyist and made her father’s work with clean energy possible, even if it often meant he had to lease his brilliant mind to less peaceful classified projects in exchange for that funding. There’d been more than one fight in her household over Krennic before her mother had died, and after it’d been the final wedge between her father and her godfather. Jyn had a feeling the man in question would be more than proud to hear it. He’d always been weirdly obsessed with her father and been one of the many forces that kept Galen late in the office. Not that her father wasn’t a workaholic on his own, Jyn had spent much of her childhood missing her father, but Krennic knew just how to manipulate the man into working harder, longer hours or going to just one more networking event for the “betterment of the world.”

If that wasn’t enough reason to dislike him, Krennic had taken more and more of an interest in her as she got older and always asked weirdly intrusive questions and made gross comments about her physical appearance and personal life. Nothing forward enough to ever really call him on it without making a scene and fucking up her father’s work, and he was always careful to only do it when she was alone, but she always felt uncomfortable when he was around. Bodhi had made certain she didn’t get left alone with him at the work and family functions they’d felt obligated to invite Krennic to, but she couldn’t very well expect Bodhi to be watching out for her at his own wedding. Tonight was probably not the night to punch the man in the face, although she’d debated it for years.

“It was a beautiful wedding,” Krennic commented eyeing Bodhi and Luke on the dance floor, “Even if it was between two men.” Jyn’s fist tightened under the table, maybe tonight was the night after all. “You look lovely though. Although I’ll never understand why your generation feels the need to wear such form fitting things. I’m sure you have other qualities that would attract a man if properly applied.” Jyn grit her teeth and debated throwing her wine at him as a compromise. “Are you still working at that dreadful little gym, darling? I keep telling your father we could use your computer skills at the lab if you ever actually want to use your degree and get a real job again.”

Krennic never missed a chance to remind her she was failing at life. She’d landed a plush corporate job with her computer science degree after college, but quickly found she hated the corporate world, and gone back to her college job as a personal trainer. At least Saw had given her a few useful skills to remember him by before he’d fucked off and left her to go god knows where with his little anti-establishment environmental terrorist group or whatever the government was calling it these days. Saw hadn’t had any clue how to help a mourning little girl who followed him around for lack of any other type of mentor and had decided he’d just incorporate her into his own routine of physical training based on a stint in the military, his own boxing history, and whatever he thought was necessary for the coming ‘end times’. With that and a little bit of studying it’d been easy to get her personal trainer certificate in college. The “dreadful little gym” was actually a nice gym in midtown owned and run by Baze Malbus and Chirrut Imwe who had quickly become more family than mere employers, though through no real choice of her own.

“I’m doing fine on my own, thanks,” Jyn said taking a sip of her wine and debating how to leave this conversation faster.

“As always,” Krennic said mockingly. He reached out and put his hand over the one she’d stupidly left on the table. “So, Jynnie, anyone special in your life right now?”

And this is where the gross intrusive questioning would start. Jyn pulled her hand away on the pretense of pushing her hair back and opened her mouth to say something biting about not needing someone else to make her happy. She was startled by another wine glass set down in front of her and an arm slung around her shoulders.

“Mr. Krennic,” Cassian said lightly nodding towards the older man.

“Ah, Andor, is it?” Krennic said pursing his lips and leaning back in his chair. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you since you were in high school. I didn’t realize you were still hanging about the Ersos. I hadn’t realized they kept in such good contact with their high school friends.”

“We actually all went to college together too,” Cassian corrected. “Bodhi and I were roommates for years.”

“Oh, you went to college? What a surprise. Well a man should always work to better himself. It’s always so inspiring when people rise above their situation.”

Cassian gave him a smile that Jyn had seen flashed at racist assholes and misogynistic bros before Cassian destroyed them. She gripped his knee to warn him off. Not that Krennic didn’t deserve it, but she and Cassian really did not need to start a fight at Bodhi’s wedding. They’d never hear the end of it, especially not since Jyn was often spoiling for a fight and somehow Cassian always got roped into backing her up so they were a little notorious for getting into trouble and causing scenes. “Yep, graduated and everything,” Cassian said instead of whatever he had been about to say.

“And where do you work now? At the gym with Jynnie here?”

“I work for Senator Bail Organa.”

“Oh, that does make sense,” Krennic scoffed.

“How do you mean?”

“Well it makes sense you’d want to give back to your own people,” Krennic said waving a hand in the air. “I mean the man is practically a socialist. You’ll forgive me if I’m not getting in line to give my money away to a lazy poor person who can’t figure out how to hold down a job. I mean look at you, you were able to get a good education and a job despite your background when you put your mind to it. Other people should be able to as well. Not expecting hand outs from the government.”

Cassian tensed further next to her and Jyn had no intention of listening to a well-reasoned argument for the next 20 minutes that would have absolutely no impact on the asshole across from her. Some people didn’t want to learn, they just wanted to be proven right and nothing else mattered or penetrated their preconceived notions. No matter what Cassian said, Krennic wasn’t about to change anytime soon. “Don’t mind him, Cassian,” Jyn said with a forced little laugh. “Mr. Krennic is just mad that Senator Organa blocked that military spending bill that would have benefitted one of his favorite clients.”

“Pity,” Cassian said dryly taking a sip of his beer. Jyn relaxed her fingers on his knee and shot him a smile.

“Yes, well we’ll see how long that lasts,” Krennic said shortly. “So Jynnie, you never answered my question.”

“Oh?” she asked playing dumb and leaning into Cassian purely to put more space between her and Krennic.

“Still single as always?” Krennic asked sounding irritated. Cassian laughed at her side and she subtly jammed an elbow into his ribs. “Something funny, Andor?”

“Nothing at all.”

“As I was saying,” Krennic started. “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be alone for so many years. Maybe if you were working in a real workplace you’d meet some eligible bachelors.”

“Because you know the only reason to enter the workforce is to snag yourself a man,” Cassian said wryly.

Krennic raised an eyebrow. “It does tend to filter out the underserving rabble you’d meet at say a bar. She should want to find a good man and have children before she gets too old. It does tend to sneak up on women now that they put off marriage for so long. I know your generation is all about playing fast and loose, but you deserve better than that, Jynnie. I know how your father worries since you’re often a bit rough around the edges.”

Jyn grit her teeth and focused on her wine. She hated this man. She really did not want to admit to him that she was just as single as always despite have little to no interest in marriage or children. She’d had two men that could possibly count as boyfriends in her life and neither were anything to write home about. She didn’t even care, love was for people looking to get hurt, she just really didn’t want to listen to the condescending comments laced with pity that were sure to follow the admission.

“Jyn’s with me.”

“I beg your pardon?” Krennic asked as Jyn whipped around to look at Cassian in surprise.

“Jyn and I are dating,” Cassian said with a perfectly convincing casual shrug. He always was better at lying than she was. “Have been for almost a year now. I’m surprised Galen hasn’t mentioned it.”

“I’d expect he’s trying to keep it quiet,” Krennic snapped turning a vicious look on Jyn as if she’d personally wronged him. He opened his mouth again and she swore to all things holy that if he mentioned Cassian’s race she was going to slug him, wedding or not. Bodhi and Luke probably wouldn’t even mind once she explained. “I mean who’d want to be associated with Organa even by proxy?”

Jyn relaxed and belatedly realized Cassian had wrapped his arm more tightly around her, obviously anticipating her throwing a punch considering she’d done it on his behalf before. “I believe Papa voted for him actually, seeing as how Organa is a big supporter of clean energy and all.” She felt more than heard Cassian stifle a laugh at her side.

“Well, as fun as this has been,” Cassian started standing up from the table and Jyn had a brief panic that he was going to leave her. Instead he offered her a hand. “Jyn promised me a dance.” What an absolute asshole. Jyn shot him an unamused look, to which he just benignly smiled back at, and she sighed in defeat before taking his hand and standing up. “Good to see you, Mr. Krennic. Do enjoy the wedding.”

“You played dirty,” Jyn said as soon as they were on the dance floor and Cassian pulled her into his arms.

“If you want to hang out with Krennic, by all means you’re free to go back to the table,” he said easily.

She stepped on his toes just for good measure. “Obviously I don’t want that.”

“You and Bodhi always said he was a creep, but I hadn’t experienced the full force of it till now. Sorry about the ‘us dating thing,’ he just pissed me off talking about you like you couldn’t get a boyfriend if you wanted one or like you needed one. Not that he was probably impressed with you picking me, but still.”

“It’s fine,” Jyn said frowning down at their feet and trying to predict his next move. “Krennic has always been bizarrely obsessed with my dating life.”

“Stop looking down,” Cassian chastised. “Just stop resisting and follow my lead.” Jyn stuck her tongue out at him. “He’s probably been fantasizing about you for years.”

“Gross,” she hissed smacking his arm. “Probably true, but so fucking gross.” He laughed and spun her out from him and back into his arms. Cassian had a great laugh even if it was rarely used. “And Krennic is an idiot if he’s not impressed by you. Any girl would be lucky to have you.”

Cassian’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. “Is that so? What brought on this sudden bout of charity?”

“Shut up,” she said rolling her eyes and stumbling through another step. “As if you don’t know you’re a catch, Mr. Committed to the cause, do-gooder extraordinaire with a serious respectable job and a charming personality you can turn on at the drop of a hat, topped off by a sexy accent. Every time you come into the gym I have women asking me about you.”

“How much have you had to drink?” Cassian asked with another beautiful, casual laugh.

Jyn glowered. This is what she got for trying to be kind. “I’ve said nice things to you before.”

“Through gritted teeth,” he teased.

“I’m sorry Krennic was so awful to you.”

Cassian shrugged. “I’ve run into people like that before.”

“Still, you shouldn’t have to put up with it,” she argued, feeling herself get worked up all over again. “You’re twice the man he could ever hope to be, and it’s bullshit that he gets to think he’s better than you. Just know that if I ever do get married he certainly isn’t invited no matter what’s socially appropriate.”

“I think you should invite him, if only just to torture him. Force him to think about your wedding night and all.”

Jyn snorted. “Yeah, well the way my dating life is he’ll probably be dead by then. I think I’d enjoy his funeral more than any wedding of mine though anyway.”

Cassian opened his mouth to say something but was cut off as Luke and Bodhi danced up to them. “How did you get her on the dance floor?” Bodhi demanded. “Galen had to blackmail her and I had to beg.”

“The first one, kind of.”

Bodhi rolled his eyes and Luke grinned. “Are you guys coming to the after party? We’re going to have to get out of here shortly, but everyone is moving to the hotel bar.”

“Sure,” Jyn said, “As long as there’s no more dancing.”

“You had options,” Cassian said blandly before spinning her out and back into him again much to Bodhi and Luke’s amusement.

“I vote we go now,” she said with a glare.

“One last dance,” Luke said happily. “We’ll see you there.” And then Bodhi and him glided away. The DJ called out the final dance and the music slowed down significantly.

“No.”

“Guess it’s back to Krennic then.”

“We could just go early.”

“And sit around like losers waiting for everyone else? It’s one slow dance.”

Jyn sighed. “Fine.” She stepped in closer to him and moved her hands to his shoulders as both of his slid to her waist. She supposed dancing with him wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever had to do. He was actually pretty good at not letting her look like a total spaz. “You’re buying me a drink at the bar though.”

“Of course,” he said with a smile curling the corners of his mouth that told her the negotiation had ended in his favor like it always did.

* * *

“So here’s the thing,” Han said by way of greeting. “Leia is going to stay with me tonight so you’re going to switch rooms with her and stay with Jyn.”

Cassian glanced at his roommate and sighed internally before giving the bartender his and Jyn’s order. “Does Jyn know this?”

“Yeah, Leia is telling her,” Han said leaning back against the bar. “It’s not like she’ll care. You guys have slept over at each other’s apartments before and there’s separate beds.”

“If Jyn’s fine with it, I’m fine with it,” Cassian said because really there was no point in arguing. Han and Leia, when they combined forces, usually got their way one way or another. “Just drop my suitcase in Jyn’s room when you make the swap, ok? I don’t need to walk in on anything just to get my toothbrush.”

“You got it, buddy,” Han said clapping him on the back and wandering away. Cassian waited on the drinks and tried to push down his annoyance. Not that he minded sharing a room with Jyn, but his idiot friends should have sorted out there relationship before the last minute so they didn’t have to have the room situation sprung on them.

The bartender interrupted his musings by bringing the drinks. He picked them up and turned back towards the party in the hotel bar weaving his way through the crowd to spot Jyn in a corner with Leia. She looked lovely tonight, one of the rare occasions where she was willing to don a fancy dress and heels to stand up with her brother at the alter across from Luke and Leia. Not that she didn’t look just as lovely sweaty and mussed from teaching a boxing class, but it was a unique look. Even after knowing her for more than a decade he could count the number of times he’s seen her in formalwear on two hands. He lingered awkwardly waiting for Jyn and Leia to finish their conversation. He certainly didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Leia gave her a little hug and bounced off before he approached.

“Heard the news then?”

“I don’t know why we didn’t just book the rooms this way in the first place,” Jyn said in exasperation. She shot him a quick smile as he passed over the glass of wine.

“Because there was an equal probability they’d have gotten into some fight tonight and been ready to tear each other’s heads off.”

“We need new friends.”

“Sorry, you’re stuck with me.”

Jyn shrugged. “I don’t mind. You’re clean, quiet, and cook, which is more than I can say about myself.” He grinned at that and settled into the bench beside her.

“You’re awfully complimentary tonight.”

“I’m drunk.”

“I don’t think you’ve even completely finished one glass of wine tonight.”

“But I’ve had several sips of many,” she countered.

“I’ve seen you drunk, and this isn’t it,” he said squinting at her. Jyn drunk was a lively thing. Quick to fight and equally quick to laugh. She also shared the most when drunk and was at her most willing to accept offered help. He’d given her piggy back rides home from the bar when she was drunk, whereas he was sure she could have two broken legs while sober and still stubbornly refuse it. No, tonight she seemed more melancholy than anything else, and had even before Krennic had approached her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” she said shaking her head and faking a smile. “It’s Bodhi’s wedding, how could anything be wrong?”

“You’re a terrible liar, Jyn Erso.” She sighed, but stayed quiet. He bumped her shoulder lightly with his. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me. We can just sit here and drink our drinks and rag on Han and Leia.” He understood not wanting to talk about it. Jyn wasn’t the only one with a troubled childhood. The reason he’d met the Ersos at all was because he’d been shipped off to live with an uncle in the U.S. after his other relatives just couldn’t handle the pissed off adolescent he’d grown to be. His father had been a journalist in Mexico and investigated the wrong story. Both of his parents had been murdered when he was six. It’d taken years until he’d told Jyn and Bodhi the full story, and they’d never pushed him for it before he was ready. Sometimes your sadness was your own to hold.

Jyn surprised him by slumping into his side and leaning her head on his shoulder. He sat very still for fear of spooking her out of the rare display of physical affection. Jyn was only ever really comfortably casual about touching Bodhi, at least when sober. Even Leia often gave her a hard time for being standoffish or slow to offer a hug. Cassian privately blamed her father and godfather for that aspect of her. Neither men were particularly affectionate, and from what he’d heard of Gerrera tough love was the only type he was capable of giving. Bodhi had once privately admitted to being terrified of Jyn’s godfather when they were children and had never quite understood her connection to the man.

“They look very happy, don’t they?”

Cassian glanced from the top of her head to spot Bodhi and Luke in the midst of well wishers with their arms thrown around each other’s waists and grinning unabashedly. “Yes, they do.”

“There’s a photo of my mama and papa on their wedding where they looked just like that,” Jyn noted quietly. If Cassian had been barely breathing before he ceased it now. Jyn never talked about her mother. Cassian knew she’d died in a car crash with Bodhi’s mother, but he’d learned that from Bodhi, not from her. “Sometimes it blows my mind that people take the risk.”

“The risk?” he ventured to ask after a moment of silence.

“You love that hard,” Jyn said simply. “You’re bound to get hurt one day. If only because someone always has to die first.”

“Mierda, that’s some dark wedding day thoughts.”

Jyn gave a self-deprecating smile. “Sorry. I’m glad they’re happy, I just couldn’t help thinking about it after I thought about how much it would mean to Bodhi if his mother could have been here today.”

He risked it. “Or your mother for your wedding day?”

“Not too worried about that ever happening,” she said shrugging slightly into his side and lifting her head. “I just miss her more sometimes when I’m at my happiest. Does that make any sense?”

Cassian took a drink and thought of all the times he’d been on top of the world only to feel the wrenching pain of something missing. Accomplishments his parents would never see. Moments and holidays that should be a family celebration with no family to celebrate it. “Yeah,” he answered quietly. “I get that. But usually right after, I look around at all the people I still do have and it makes it better.”

Jyn studied him for a second and then slipped her hand into his and gave it a quick squeeze before pulling back. “Always so full of hope.”

“One of us has to be,” he said nudging her again and enjoying the small upward tilt of her lips. “Your brother just got married to the love of his life, your friends are all here drunk and happy, and your father managed not to forget what day it is and turn up to the wedding on time. I think your mother would be sad if you were sad today.”

“Then I suppose you’ll need to say something that will cheer me up.”

He thought for a moment. Pleasantries and platitudes wouldn’t do the trick. Perhaps a distraction might? “Every year, hundreds of new trees grow because of squirrels forgetting where they buried their nuts.”

Jyn’s face broke into a smile and he felt a little victorious thrill before her face immediately darkened. “Fuck.”

Well, that wasn’t the response he’d expected. “What?”

“Krennic is here,” Jyn said resentfully throwing back a gulp of wine. “I thought he’d go to bed since Papa decided to and leave us all be.”

Cassian glanced over and saw the man working his way through the crowd clearly searching for someone, probably Jyn if the reception was any indication. Bodhi and Jyn had always made jokes about Krennic and clearly disliked him, but Cassian hadn’t realized what a creep he really was until tonight. He certainly didn’t like the way the man spoke or looked at Jyn. Krennic came closer and any minute he’d spot them. “Let’s go.”

“What?”

“Let’s just go to bed. Bodhi and Luke won’t even notice. It’s not worth dealing with him.”

“Doesn’t that feel like running?” Jyn demanded. He took in the stubborn set of her jaw and debated the best way to approach it. She was clearly ready to dig her heels in, and he figured only blunt honesty would do the trick.

“It feels like you not bloodying the lip of your father’s business associate at your brother’s party,” he said simply. “Deservedly or not.”

“We barely touched our drinks,” Jyn argued holding her glass up for proof.

“It was my money, and I say it’s fine,” he answered setting his beer down and moving to stand. “Come on, Jyn. He isn’t worth it. Just leave it.”

She grumbled under her breath but ultimately set her wine down and followed him, skirting behind a group of people to avoid notice and slipping out of the bar. “He’s the worst. I don’t know how Papa puts up with him. Sorry to cut your night short.”

“It’s fine,” Cassian said shrugging. “I’d actually prefer to wake up after a wedding without a blinding hangover for once.”

“Someone is getting old,” Jyn snickered.

Cassian turned to shoot her a glare over his shoulder as they started up the stairs of the old hotel and instead frowned. “Are you kidding me?” he muttered before reaching back to settle his hand on her lower back and urge her to pick up the pace.

“What?” She started to turn, but he shook his head and kept leading her forward.

“I think Krennic is following us,” he said simply, cursing Jyn’s stupid heels in his head. They were really slowing them down.

“Are you serious?” she hissed. “Why can’t he just leave me alone?”

“One more floor and down the hall and we’re free. He can’t possibly be creepy enough to knock, right?”

Jyn bit her lip and followed him up the next flight of stairs. “This is stupid,” she said finally as they started down their own hallway. “I’m not going to let this man make me scurry off and hide. I’m not ten years old anymore.”

Cassian sighed. Looks like they were going to have that fight after all. At least now if they caused a scene it wouldn’t be in the middle of the party. “It’s up to you, Jyn. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“Sure,” Cassian answered truthfully. She should know by now he had her back, whether it was in a bar brawl or just showing up with water, medicine, and food after a hard night out.

“Good, then you should kiss me,” she said firmly, that stubborn tilt back to her chin.

His brain stuttered to a stop. He certainly hadn’t heard that right and he looked at her with probably less emotion than that statement demanded, “What?”

“Kiss me,” she ordered again side-eyeing the hallway and stopping in front of their hotel room door. “And hurry up about it, he’ll be up here any second.”

“Still not following,” he said swallowing dryly. He was having a hard time transitioning from a Jyn who would barely lean her head on his shoulder to one demanding he kiss her.

“You started it,” she hissed. “Lying about us being together. Well, if he wants to be a weird stalker, I say we give him a show. He’s probably coming to talk to me about dating you anyway.”

“Jyn,” he said shaking his head.

“Come on, it’s not like you don’t know how to do it,” Jyn argued.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said quietly trying to ignore the man rounding the hallway corner that he could see in the periphery. Sure, it was just a kiss, but this was Jyn. One of his best friend’s baby sister, the girl he’d known through gawky awkward adolescence, a woman who had become one of his best friends in her own right. Wouldn’t it make things strange between them?

Apparently Jyn didn’t agree though as the next thing he knew she’d fisted her hand in his shirt and tugged him down to her level, lifting up on her toes and pressing her mouth to his. He froze as her lips moved hesitantly against his and he could feel the frown start to form on her lips before she pulled back looking embarrassed and apologetic.

He was being stupid – it was just a kiss. Cassian leaned forward following her retreat and kissed her back. Jyn gave a little surprised gasp into his mouth, but was quicker to respond than he had been. Her hand came back up to his shoulder and he crowded her in closer to the door resting his hands on her hips. Her lips were softer than he’d imagined, not that he’d imagined it, and she melted into him in a way he hadn’t expected. He added a little more pressure and nearly made a noise when one of her hands crept up to his hair and tugged a little bit. God, she was good at this, and fuck, was that her tongue? There it was again, and he wasn’t about to deny her now. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss and she responded in kind. He squeezed her hip and she pressed forward so he could feel all of her curves against his own lean frame, and he wanted more. Whatever this was he wanted more.

There was a clearing throat, and Jyn broke away from the kiss ducking her head against his chest, but not moving to distance herself at all. Cassian’s first coherent thought was that he was going to punch whoever was connected to that noise right in their congested throat.

“This is a public hallway,” Krennic drawled.

“Didn’t realize there was anyone lingering around,” Cassian said coldly. He turned his face to meet the man’s glare with his own carefully stony look.

Jyn’s hand dragged distractingly down Cassian’s front before slipping a finger through one of his belt loops. “Did you need something, Mr. Krennic?”

“I was just on my way to bed,” Krennic said gesturing down the hall and turning judgmental eyes on them. “Perhaps it’s time you should turn in for the night too, Jynnie.”

“Good idea,” Jyn said with a wicked little grin that sent Cassian’s already-pounding heart skittering. She slipped her key card into the door and kicked it open, dragging Cassian in with her by the belt loop. “Have a nice night, Mr. Krennic,” she called cheerily before slamming the door in the older man’s shocked face. Jyn smiled up at Cassian victoriously, and he tried to shake himself out of his daze. “You ok?”

“Yeah, yes, fine,” Cassian muttered.

The smile slipped off her face and she stepped into his personal space again gazing up at him. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that without you agreeing first, we were just running out of time.” Jyn backed off and wrapped her arms around her waist uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

“No,” he sputtered in a rush to comfort her. “No, it’s fine. I was just a little surprised is all. It was good.” Good seemed like an understatement, he couldn’t remember the last time just a kiss had gotten him this worked up and flustered. Kissing didn’t usually make him overheat from the tips of his ears down to his feet.

“Yeah?” she asked lifting her eyes back up to meet his a bit nervously.

“Yeah.” Cassian reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear where it’d escaped from her up-do, trying to focus on something other than her lips.

She tilted her head to the side. “How good?”

“Jyn,” he snorted, relaxing from the weird mood that had built up around them. She didn’t smile though and her eyes were still dark and intent on him in a way that made him falter again. “Jyn?”

“I thought you were going to cheer me up.”

“I’m pretty sure I had a squirrel fact for that,” he said trying to crack a joke, but it came out off-kilter.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Jyn asked bluntly still staring at him in that hungry way that was doing all sorts of funny things to his insides.

“Jyn, stop joking around.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” she said calmly. “It’s just sex. It’s not like both of us haven’t had one night stands before.”

“We’re friends,” he said breathing a little harder. It wasn’t like he didn’t find her attractive, but he’d never been allowed to think about her that way, and doing so so suddenly was throwing him for a loop.

“So you don’t want to?” she asked backing off and seeming to shrink into herself a bit. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have, I just. The kiss was nice.” She shook her head and nervously tugged at the hem of her dress. “Sorry.”

Shit, he hated when she looked like that. Unsure and beaten. It was so rare he saw it, and he never wanted to be the cause of it. Especially when there was no reason for the self doubt when in all actuality there was nothing he’d rather do in this moment than push her down into the bed and fuck her senseless. He was surprised by just how good that sounded actually. After all it was just sex, and what straight man wouldn’t want to sleep with a woman like Jyn? “Don’t be sorry,” he said reaching for her. “It was a great kiss.” And then to prove it to her he leaned down and did it again. She gave a little murmur of surprise and then surged up to meet him. “Jyn, are you sure?” he muttered between kisses as her hand tugged his shirt out of his pants and snuck underneath it to touch the bare skin of his side.

Her other hand tugged him down harder by the neck and she pressed up on her tiptoes further to bite his ear softly. “Shut up, and fuck me, Cassian.”

And he was lost.


	2. The One With The Wedding Night

This was insane. She’d started it and she still couldn’t defend it. It was just that Cassian’s hands and lips had felt so good on her and she hadn’t wanted it to stop. She’d thought pissing Krennic off was worth one awkward kiss, but then, it just wasn’t awkward at all. Instead it made her burn up from the inside and want more. Cassian Andor could kiss. His lips moved to her neck and she arched it to give him more access. This is what she needed. Just some uncomplicated sex to leave her limp and satiated. No more unhappy thoughts missing her mom or doubting her life choices, no more worrying about creepy Krennic. Just a warm body and lips that made her forget everything. Cassian pressed a leg between her thighs and she gave a breathy little cry that had him sucking harder on her pulse point.

“Yes,” Jyn encouraged. Her hips jerked involuntarily sliding her further up his thigh and she fucking loved the way that felt. God, she wanted him to touch her. Not just the proper places his hands currently occupied at her waist. She wiggled a little in his hold hoping he’d get the message. A hand slipped up her back, but that wasn’t enough. Not nearly. “Cassian,” she whined reaching down to grab a hand and tug it down to her thigh where her dress ended.

His hand slipped in and under the dress reaching around to grab her ass and pull her tighter against his leg. That would do the trick. She rocked her hips against him again and his fingers moved under her thigh hiking one leg up higher.

“This is insane,” Cassian muttered into her hair echoing her earlier thoughts and breaking away from her neck.

“Say stop, and we’ll stop,” she said hoping to everything holy that he didn’t actually say it.

He gave a sort of guttural growl and pushed her back sending her sprawling on the bed behind her. “I’m not going to say it, are you?”

“Don’t have any plans of it,” she said leaning back on her elbows and watching him approach. “Unless you turn out to be bad at it.”

Cassian gave a little huff of disapproval that made the corners of her mouth quirk up. “I’ll have you know since college I’ve only had glowing reviews.”

“Yeah?” Jyn teased. “Should I send apologies to Anna then?”

“It’s not like either of us knew what we were doing in high school,” he said with a shrug moving closer. “No reason to be embarrassed. Did you have it all figured out the first time?”

“Oh yeah, sex goddess right from the start,” she said with a laugh as she reached up to tug his shirt over his head. It was bizarre having the first-time-need-you-to-fuck-me-as-soon-as-possible-or-I’ll-die lust and at the same time having the comfortable casualty of an old friend who knew your history and was easy to talk to. Usually for her there were no conversations the first time, just clothes flung, a little foreplay, and then the main event to which she may or may not get off. Then done. “I definitely did not try to give Hadder a blowjob, and I definitely didn’t gag.”

Cassian laughed as she reached for his belt. “I’d forgotten about Hadder.”

“Yeah, well you and Bodhi were off being cool college sophomores at the time.” She pulled the belt loose with a victorious little tug tossing it to the floor.

“I just remember Bodhi freaking out because his baby sister had a boyfriend and he wasn’t there to give him the talk.”

“Oh please,” Jyn said rolling her eyes. “Bodhi is about as threatening as a wet angry puppy at his worst.”

Cassian snorted and pushed her hands away before she could finish stripping him, sinking down to his knees in front her, effectively putting him a little below eye level as she sat on the edge of the bed. “You’d already broken up with him by the time we got home for break anyway.”

“Yeah, well we had sex and he discovered he was gay,” Jyn said shrugging and looking away. It wasn’t something she had told very many people. “I really should have known sex wouldn’t get much better from there. Hadder wasn’t even interested and he tried harder than most.”

Cassian rose up on his knees and kissed her, hands cradeling her neck and head. It was slow and hot and Jyn found herself digging her fingers into his naked shoulders and trying to drag him closer. It was unfair how good he was at that. Instead of letting her win he pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. “Should we see if I can beat him?”

“Setting the bar low for yourself, aren’t you, Andor?” she teased.

He knelt back down and slipped her shoes off before resting his hands on her bare knees. “Do you want me to try or not?”

“By all means,” Jyn invited. Honestly if he could get her off without her assistance she’d call the night a win.

Cassian turned his head kissing the inside of her knee and working his way up her thigh. He hit the end of her dress and hitched the cloth up around her hips revealing the black lace underwear that Leia had insisted was necessary to not get lines in the dress. He gave a hissing little breath that almost made the uncomfortable underwear worth it. He kissed the edge of the lace and then continued up her abdomen pushing the dress as he went. The dress eventually bunched around her chest and arms and Jyn wiggled, sitting up and helping him drag it over her head. The matching bra seemed to be equally pleasing to him and his head dropped to her breasts pressing warm hot open mouth kisses to them. She reached for his pants again, but was quickly distracted by his fingers slipping into her underwear.

He touched her slit and she shifted her hips to meet his caress. His mouth captured her nipple through the lace bra and she muffled a soft little cry. He was attentive if nothing else. A finger slipped inside her already wet folds and she ground down on it. He set up a slow rhythm and she felt herself get wetter before he quickly inserted a second finger and sped up the pace a bit. God, it had been way too long since she’d had someone touching her like this. Cassian crooked his fingers inside her and in just a few exploratory moves hit her sweet spot making her gasp.

He grinned into her neck where he’d kissed his way up. “Good?”

“Obviously,” she sassed trying to ignore the wet sounds she was making around his thrusting fingers. “You looking for a prize?”

Cassian gave a huff of laughter. He kissed her and sank back down to his knees in front of her. She watched him warily as he buried his face between her thighs. Here it came, a few half-hearted licks and then he’d be sliding his cock inside her riding out his own pleasure, but maybe he’d manage to get her at least halfway. She’d take what she could get tonight. It was better than being alone and miserable thinking about things that couldn’t be. He kissed her over the lace and his hot breath made her shiver. Cassian backed away to tug her underwear down her legs and off, and then he leaned back in. Jyn fought hard not to cry out as he kissed her cunt up to her clit and started licking and sucking it in a way that had her fisting the sheets. His fingers pressed back inside her now soaked opening and fuck had she underestimated him here.

“Cassian, god that’s good,” she said working not to lock her thighs around his head and smother him. He gave a little appreciative hum that seemed to vibrate up her whole body and she released the sheets to dig her fingers into his hair. He must have liked it because he pressed into her harder and picked up speed, nailing her g-spot over and over again relentlessly with his fingers as his mouth tortured her slit and her clit. She’d never had someone go down on her like this before and she realized with surprise she was close to coming. He didn’t let up and a few moments later she clamped down on him with a short involuntary cry, feeling the tremors ripple through her body.

She came back down to find him watching her while his fingers still gently worked her. “You’re fucking amazing at that.”

“Full of compliments tonight,” he said with a small smile kissing her thigh.

“Yeah, well no one has made me come that quickly or at all from that before so I’d say you earned it.” She was willing to give credit where it was due.

“You date losers,” Cassian stated brushing his thumb over her clit for emphasis and making her shiver.

“Can’t argue with that,” Jyn said reaching for him. He stopped to kiss her hips, and the tops of her breasts, and her neck before returning to her mouth. She could taste herself on him as he sank into the kiss and pressed his body down along hers. Jyn broke it a moment later pressing at his hips. “Get your pants off. Now.”

“Slow down, we’ve got all the time in the world,” he argued catching her hands again.

“I don’t want to,” she said rocking her hips up to meet his and was at least satisfied to discover he was hard. “Come on, take them off.”

“You’re always so impatient,” he chastised but it sounded like he didn’t actually mind. He always seemed to indulge her worst impulses, case in point this evening.

“And you’re always so serious and methodical,” she shot back.

“You say that’s like it’s a bad thing.” He slid a hand underneath her and undid the clasp on her bra. “But you weren’t complaining a minute ago.” Then his head dipped back down and sucked her bare nipple into his mouth and she gasped his name pushing her hips up again and digging her fingers into his shoulders.

“Cassian, please?”

He lifted his head from her breast to smirk at her and his hand replaced his mouth. “Did you just say ‘please’? I don’t think you’ve ever said that to me in the entire time I’ve known you. In fact, I wasn’t sure you knew the word.”

Jyn felt her cheeks heat up and tried to cover it with a scowl. “I take it back.”

He grinned and his hand reached up to run a thumb over her blushing cheek. “Don’t. I liked it. Say it again. Beg me.”

She tensed up at that. “So you’ve got some kind of subservient woman kink?” she asked nastily because it was her default when she was embarrassed.

The smile dropped off his face and morphed to that neutral look she hated that always implied he was about to lie or shut someone out completely. He shrugged and his hand slipped away from her face. He opened his mouth to say something, and she cut him off before some fake pleasantry could drop out of it and leave her cold.

“I’m not good at this,” she said roughly. “I don’t have sex like this.”

“Like what?” he asked still watching her dispassionately.

The awkwardness twisted in her gut and smothered some of the heat of the moment. “You know,” she said looking away. His hand came back to her face gently tilting it back towards him. She breathed deeply and then forced it out. “Where you still want to like and talk to the person the next day.”

He gave a soft laugh and his face opened up to her again. “There isn’t much you could do that you haven’t already done that would make me not want to talk to you tomorrow. You literally threw up in my lap once, remember?”

The blush burned harder in her cheeks. That had been a particularly brutal winter flu while Bodhi had been studying abroad. With no one to help and hitting a particular low where she was alone and suffering in her dorm with no medicine, food, or strength to get either she’d called Cassian. She didn’t like being weak in front of people, but Leia had been home visiting family and there had been limited options. “What I remember is you nearly burning down the dorms trying to cook soup on the hotplate, which led to you insisting we go to your apartment with proper appliances instead, leading to me being outside in the cold trying to get a cab, getting me sicker and ultimately leading to the incident in the car.”

“You’re right, it was all my fault,” he said easily.

“Glad you agree,” Jyn said with a sharp little nod.

He gave a soft small laugh and started to move back from her. “We don’t have to do this, Jyn. If you’re uncomfortable we can stop.”

Jyn reached out and grabbed his arm. “I didn’t mean I wanted to stop. I just.” She sighed. This was Cassian though, he’d understand. “I don’t like being made fun of.”

“Made fun of?” he asked with what sounded like genuine confusion. “I wasn’t making fun of you.”

“I didn’t mean to say please and be needy,” she said stiffly. “I won’t do it again.”

“Jyn, what are you talking about?” he asked sitting back further and running a gentle hand down her arm. “Sure, I was teasing you because you usually don’t say things like that, but we’re usually not having sex either. I _liked_ it. Not because you were being subservient or whatever, but because it meant you liked what I was doing. I like knowing you’re enjoying yourself. That I’m doing well.”

Jyn breathed out and tried not to get embarrassed all over again. A confession like that deserved an explanation. “Remember Codo?”

Cassian frowned, clearly confused by the change in subject. “The guy you dated your freshman year of college? He barely spoke to me the few times we met. I remember Bodhi hated him, and Bodhi rarely hates anyone. I also remember the party Bodhi threw you at our apartment when you broke up with him.”

Jyn snorted. “Yeah, well I broke up with him because I overheard him talking about me to his friends. He was going on and on about how loud and desperately needy I am in bed, always begging for it.” She looked away crossed her arms over her bare chest feeling awkward having this conversation naked and still halfway underneath him. Not that she wouldn’t have already run if she had her clothes on or had anywhere to run to. “All his friends were laughing and he kept going on and on about it. Said I pleaded like a whore and started cracking jokes about if his friends were good maybe he’d share.”

Cassian sat up completely and she curled further into herself. She shouldn’t have told him. Who wanted to deal with someone’s sexual hang-ups when they’d just signed up for an easy fuck?

“Sorry,” she muttered reaching for her discarded bra.

He caught her hands and tugged her upright pulling her into his lap and arms as he sat on the bed. “Don’t apologize,” he said and she could hear the barely contained rage in his tone. “Codo was an asshole, and I only wish you’d told us sooner.”

“What were you going to do? Beat him up?” Jyn asked, ignoring the burning sensation in her eyes.

“If you’d wanted that I imagine you could have done that on your own,” Cassian said pressing a kiss into her hairline and running his hands comfortingly up her back. “But I would have made short work about spreading some nasty rumors around campus about the size of his dick and his inability to please a woman. I have a feeling that would have pissed him off more than a good beating anyway.”

Jyn gave a small wet laugh at that, turning her face more firmly into his chest and finally wrapping her own arms around his waist. “You always have preferred subterfuge to using your fists.”

“He’d have deserved it. I’m sorry that happened to you.” He started to run his fingers through her hair and stopped when he hit her now half-destroyed up-do. “May I?”

Jyn nodded into his chest before shifting in his lap to give him better access, noting that any hard-on he had had was gone. “Sorry, I destroyed the mood. I didn’t mean to,” she said quietly as he carefully plucked the pins out of her hair and threw them on the side table. “I get it if you just want to stop.”

He finished with the last pin and dug his fingers into her now loose hair giving it a gentle tug and tilting her head up to look at him. “I’d like to continue if you would.”

“But you aren’t,” Jyn started before shifting in his lap again.

“Easy fix for that,” he said leaning in to kiss her. A hand slipped down between them and his fingers worked inside her again. Jyn gave a little gasp and he bit her earlobe gently. “Let me hear you.”

“Cassian,” she whispered as he started up a slow thrusting pace. She shifted her hips to take him deeper. He twisted his hand to hit her g-spot again and she gave a small little cry into his throat.

“You like that?”

She hesitated for only a second, before giving a breathy little, “Yes.”

“And this?” he asked pressing a tight circle into her clit with his thumb.

“That too,” she whined. He sped up his pace a little and she let him hear her. Every little gasp and cry, feeling him grow hard again under her thigh. The fact that the sound of her was turning him on so much just made her wetter. Heat rushing back through her body, she tugged his head down into a hot, languid kiss. “You know what I’d really like?”

“Tell me,” Cassian urged.

“I would really like it if you’d take your fucking pants off now.”

He kissed her again and finally mercifully pulled back, depositing her on the bed, undoing his fly, and pushing his pants down his legs. Jyn pushed herself up, getting on her knees on the bed and kissing him as she reached down to feel the length of him. He breathed our harshly and she decided she liked that, quickly slipping her hand inside his boxers and touching him directly. He jerked up into her touch and she pressed her lips to his neck, trailing kisses up to a spot behind his ear. “What do you want?”

He made a whining noise that certainly didn’t answer her question, but made her start to understand how much he might like the sounds she was making too. “Cassian, what do you want?” Her hand stroked him, slipping over his slick tip and then setting up a fast rhythm. “Do you want me to keep using my hand?” she whispered sucking on the spot where his jaw met his neck. “Or do you want me to suck you off?”

“Jyn, fuck,” he said harshly.

“Or do you just want to sink into me?”

“What if the answer is all of the above?”

Jyn gave a sharp little grin at that and pushed his boxers down his legs, letting him step out of them. “Get on the bed.” He hurried to comply and Jyn didn’t hesitate to take his tip into her mouth as he got settled. She gave him a quick suck before running her tongue down the length of him.

“Jyn, please,” he said echoing her earlier statement, and fuck she liked that too. She took him more fully in her mouth and started to bob her head, using her hand to match her rhythm at his base. His hand buried in her hair, but didn’t force her, which she appreciated. She worked her mouth around him until he was making little uncontrollable noises and his thigh was shaking under her hand. “Jyn, I’m going to come.”

She pulled off of him with a slurping sound and tightened her fist around his base to ward off his ejaculation. He breathed out harshly, but just lay there watching her with dark intense eyes. She lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to do everything?”

He reached for her and she released him, sliding up his body and sinking into another kiss, enjoying the feel of him hard and hot against her. Her hands explored his chest and shoulders, and she gave a surprised little gasp when his hands came up to clutch the back of her thighs and rock her against him more firmly. She threw her head back and dug her fingers into his shoulders. She was about to lift herself up and thrust down on him, when he used her shift to roll them over and press her down into the mattress running his cock along the length of her parted pussy. He was hot and thick and perfect and she wanted him inside her.

“Condom?” she gasped.

His voice came out in a panting growl. “Yes. Where?”

She gave a breathless laugh. “What do you mean where?”

“Where are your condoms?”

“I don’t have any,” she said with a growing horror. “I wasn’t exactly planning on having sex.”

“Are you joking right now?”

“Cassian, I knew everyone attending this wedding. I didn’t think there was any potential. Don’t you have any condoms?”

“No,” Cassian said shaking his head. “I also didn’t think I’d be having sex this weekend.”

“Don’t boys just carry them around in their back pockets just in case?”

“I’m not a teenager,” he said shaking his head.

“What if there’d been a cute waitress or bartender?”

“Believe it or not, I’m not constantly on the prowl for easy sex.” He dropped his forehead to her collarbone. “Fuck,” he growled. And she loved when Cassian cursed. He did it so rarely and his accent made it so hot. She shifted her hips and his length slipped along her slickness. Cassian groaned and rocked into her. “Okay, okay. This will work too.”

Jyn couldn’t disagree more. She bent her knees, spreading her legs further and he pressed deeper into her slit. “I want you inside me.”

“Jyn,” he hissed lifting his head to look at her.

“Are you clean?”

“What?”

“Not that it really matters now,” she said glancing down between them and how intimately connected they already were despite the lack of penetration.

“Yes,” he answered, “But that’s not the problem.”

“Me too, and I’m on the pill,” she said.

“I’ve never-”

“Me neither,” she said honestly, reaching up to touch his face. “But I don’t mind if it’s you.” It didn’t seem as risky letting a friend share her body. She trusted Cassian more than anyone else she’d ever slept with, which should probably concern her more than it did at the moment.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, hurry up.”

Cassian lifted off of her slightly and she reached between them helping him guide himself inside her. He slid in slowly and they were both panting by the time she reached his base. Fuck, he fit her perfectly. They should have done this years ago.

He started to move and she’d been an idiot to think it couldn’t get better. She wrapped her legs around him and let him do most of the work, which was also a novelty. He set up a rocking rhythm that hit her clit and then her g-spot with every move and she was very quickly panting his name.

“You feel so amazing,” he gasped into her ear.

“Don’t stop,” she pleaded. If he stopped now she thought she would die. It’d never felt this perfect before. Every move he made sent new sensations of pleasure rippling through her and for the first time she wasn’t focused on whether or not she was going to come and whether or not she should fake it if she wasn’t going to. Whatever he did felt good, however this ended it was good. He picked up the pace and Jyn suddenly knew she had made a mistake. She was going to be disappointed with every man after this.

But almost immediately after the thought passed through her head, she felt her orgasm hit and she tumbled over the edge calling his name. The feeling of him coming inside her, his semen spurting into her as she clenched down on him over and over, just heightened it all and she swore her vision whited out for a moment.

She came back to her senses slowly enjoying the feeling of Cassian’s weight on top of her and him slowly softening inside her. This was usually the moment where she wanted to stop being naked as fast as possible and ready to leave on her own terms. Instead she just brought her hands up to run through Cassian’s hair and gave a contented little sigh. He turned his face to kiss her temple and she laughed at the cheesy gesture and tugged at his hair.

He grinned down at her lifting up and sliding out of her and for a moment she regretted not just accepting the affection. His gaze danced down her body and instead of reaching for the covers, she lifted her chin daring him to crack a joke about how fucked out she must look. Not that he was fairing much better with his hair in disarray and red marks on his skin from her lips and fingernails. Instead his eyes darkened and a hand gently stroked her thigh. She blushed when she realized what he was looking at as she could feel his cum leaking out of her. She wanted to get up, but knew that would just make the situation worse.

“That is the hottest thing I have ever seen,” he declared simply.

Embarrassed and thrown off she reverted to being thirteen, and sassed, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

His head jerked up and in all seriousness asked, “Can I?”

She was going to die from blushing. Her internal organs were going to shut down because they weren’t getting any blood because it was all rushing to her face. “I mean, if you really want to.”

He stared at her earnestly. “Only if you’re really ok with it, Jyn. I wouldn’t share it with anyone, obviously.”

And it’d never crossed her mind that he would. Cassian wasn’t like that. She’d known him for years and never once heard him bragging about girls he’d slept with, and he was a locked box when it came to secrets. “Yeah, ok. Just be quick about it. I’m getting cold.”

He moved swiftly off the bed to find his discarded pants and dig his phone out of the pocket. “Can you?” he asked vaguely gesturing with one hand and looking slightly embarrassed himself. And she could not believe she was doing this, but she found herself spreading her legs further to let him get a good shot. He took the picture and put the phone down hastily. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” And then he darted off to the bathroom.

Jyn stared at the ceiling and wondered what the hell they had just done. She reminded herself that it was just sex, just a one night thing. They’d go to sleep and in the morning they’d be friends again. Just two people who knew most of each other’s embarrassing secrets adding one more to the pile. Cassian came back out of the bathroom with a washcloth in hand and she started to reach for it only to have him take her hand and guide her up to her knees his other hand sliding the warm damp washcloth up her thighs and to her center. She closed her eyes and leaned into him enjoying the small aftershocks it sent through her body as he gently cleaned her up.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” she said burying her face into his neck.

“Come on,” he said softly tossing the washcloth on the bed into the crumpled sheets and guiding her arms around his neck. She gave a surprised little squeak, that she probably would have been embarrassed of if she hadn’t already hit her quota for the day, when he slipped an arm around her back and under her knees lifting her up and carrying her over to the other bed in the room. “You’ll be more comfortable in this one,” he explained. And she certainly would prefer it to the sweaty damp mess they’d left the other bed. But she would place good money on the fact that he was about to be a martyr and take that bed for himself.

“Yeah, good idea,” she said burrowing under the covers to the further side of the bed and catching his wrist. “You coming?”

She saw the surprise on his face before he could settle it into a pleasant smile. “I can take the other bed if you want?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said around a yawn. “I’m not making you sleep in that disaster when we have a perfectly good bed right here.”

Cassian grinned at her and backed off just long enough to turn out the lights and plug both their phones into the outlets because he was a genuine fucking gentleman. She would have been so pissed if her phone had been dead in the morning, but she was also in no state to be functional and remember to plug it in herself. Cassian crawled into bed. Jyn decided that letting him take a picture was already the most mortifying thing that could happen tonight, so she promptly rolled into his side. He didn’t even hesitate, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in close pressing his nose into her hair. Jyn relaxed into his warmth and quickly fell into a deep contented sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... hope I didn't mess that up too much. Little different than my other fics, ha. Real question, does it count as the bed sharing tag if they actually had sex? lol


	3. The One With The Team Showering

Cassian woke up later than he generally did. Usually he was up closer to dawn, but it’d been a while since he’d had a warm body nestled into his side. Jyn’s breath fanned across his shoulder and neck and raised goose bumps on his skin. So last night hadn’t been a dream. She was beautiful lying next to him with her hair spilling across the pillow and her face relaxed. She’d gotten up once in the night to go to the bathroom and he’d groggily wondered if she’d come back, but a few minutes later she was tucked in against him once more, and he’d drifted back to sleep.

Jyn made a soft snuffling sound in her sleep and snuggled nearer. If she was anyone else, if she was his girlfriend, he’d have already pulled her closer. Dropped kisses on her face and worked his way down her body as she woke up. By the time she was really conscious he’d be almost to her sweet cunt. Fuck, the way she’d tasted, the way she’d writhed under his ministrations. He’d like to do that again. But he wasn’t sure Jyn would want to. She’d clearly only meant the invitation for the night.

All the same he ran a gentle hand down along her chin and she shifted into him with a happy noise and tucked her leg further between his shins. Her eyes blinked open slowly. “Hey,” he said ignoring the gravel of just waking in his voice.

Jyn just stared at him for a moment and he watched her for any signs of regret or panic, but she just gave him a sleepy unguarded smile that made his heart lurch. “What time is it?”

He glanced over her shoulder at the hotel alarm clock. “Nine twenty-two,” he said.

Jyn gave an acknowledging little hum and pressed her face to his shoulder closing her eyes again. “We’re supposed to be down for brunch at ten.”

“How long will it take you to get ready?” he asked innocently.

Jyn yawned and stretched a little at his side. “I plan to look like shit, so probably all of ten minutes. We could probably sleep a little while longer.”

It fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. “Or we could do something else a little more fun.”

Jyn’s head jerked up and he froze. What the fuck had he been thinking? Of course she’d want to just not talk about it. Jyn’s best move was pretending something didn’t happen if she didn’t like it and didn’t want to discuss it. Case in point: how long it’d taken her to share that story about that bastard Codo. She gave him a narrowed eyed look and he tried to think of a joke to divert the conversation, but he had nothing. “What were you thinking?”

And his thoughts screeched to a halt. “I could go down on you?” he offered a bit hesitantly.

Jyn glanced over her shoulder at the clock. “I’m not always as fast as I was last night,” she said. “Might be easier if I just go down on you if that’s what you wanted.”

“No,” he said sharply and she looked surprised. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy that, but I wasn’t trying to imply, I wasn’t trying to get you to blow me. I’d really like to go down on you. That is, if you wanted me too.”

She pressed herself up on her elbow and he tried not to gawk at the way it caused the sheet to shift and expose more of her chest. She stared down at him for a moment and bit her lip. “It was supposed to be a one night thing.”

He shrugged. “Could be a wedding weekend thing?”

“People do do stupid things at weddings all the time,” she noted.

“All those emotions running high,” he added.

“Yeah, really what else could we do?” she said leaning in and he lifted his head to meet her halfway. The kiss was slow and soft and he laid back down pulling her with him. She threw a leg over him and he enjoyed the way her weight settled on top of him. Cassian dragged his hands from her hips up her sides and her back. He couldn’t get enough of touching her. She was somehow hard muscle and soft curves all at once. Maybe they could just miss brunch? Stay here kissing and touching each other all day. Surly Bodhi and Luke would understand?

Jyn rocked against him a little and he shifted her up so he could kiss down her neck and move her chest within range of his lips. She had the most perfect breasts. Why had he never realized how great her breasts were before? He sucked a nipple into his mouth and enjoyed the way she whimpered. The fact that there had been men who had had the pleasure of hearing that little noise before and had wasted it blew his mind. He couldn’t believe his luck that he was allowed to hear it now.

The door rattled and they both froze. They heard a muffled curse and Jyn looked down at him with wide eyes, before hissing, “Leia.”

They moved in unison, Jyn burrowing down under the covers as he pulled them up over her head and his chest propping himself up on the pillows. He raised his knees slightly to create a pocket for her and she curled into it, her head on his abdomen and he tried to ignore her panting breath on his half hard cock. Instead he focused on quickly fluffing the covers in the hopes of hiding any outlines of her body.

Leia burst into the room grumbling about faulty locks and old hotel rooms.   “Oh, sorry, Cassian. Did I wake you? You’re usually up by now.”

“Yeah, guess I drank too much,” he said trying to sound as calm and recently awake as possible. It didn’t help that Jyn was currently stress-squeezing his thigh.

Leia glanced at the disheveled disaster of a bed next to him. “Where’s Jyn?”

“Think she was having some trouble sleeping, got up early and went for a run,” he made up quickly.

“Who goes for a run after drinking all night?” Leia shook her head. “Jyn is a glutton for punishment.”

“Did you need something, Leia?” Jyn shifted slightly and her hand moved closer to his dick making him tense his legs to hold himself still.

“Oh yeah, I just forgot my hairpins here,” she said shaking her long loose locks over her shoulder. She headed for the bathroom and Cassian breathed a sigh of relief. Just get the stupid pins and go.

Leia came back out and glanced at him. “You ought to get up soon. You look like you could use a shower and Jyn will want one when she gets back. Thanks for switching rooms, by the way. I know it was annoying.”

Annoying was the last thing that last night had been. He had a lot of words for it, but annoying didn’t come close. “It’s fine.” Jyn pinched his thigh. “Although you owe us one.” The kiss that followed the pinch meant he’d done the right thing and he felt stupidly happy for pleasing her.

“Sure, sure,” Leia said waving a hand. “Seriously though, you should get out of bed and take that shower. Jyn will murder you if you throw off her schedule, and Han just woke up so you can’t use ours.” With that Leia breezed out of the room letting the door shut behind her.

Cassian let his legs sink and shivered slightly as he felt the length of Jyn shift up his body and her mussed head reappear from under the sheets. “Think she noticed?”

He shook his head. “I think we’re in the clear.”

She grinned at him. “What do you want to use our favor for? We should make her and Han buy us an expensive dinner or something.”

“Save it for something better than that,” he chastised and she cocked her head to the side. “Like?”

“We’ll know it when we see it,” he said simply. His hand ran down her body again and she snuggled into him. “She’s right about showering though. We’re going to run out of time.”

“No more oral?” she asked with an overdramatic pout.

“Who said that? I merely suggest we move the location of activities.”

Her smile lit up the room, and he was so stunned by it that she’d already crawled out of bed and was halfway across the room before his brain caught up and told him to move. Given he might not have been at his most graceful considering he stood up and almost tripped over his own feet following her. He didn’t really blame himself though, because watching an entirely nude Jyn Erso strut across the room while throwing challenging little looks over her shoulder on the way was surely his new kink. Jyn was already adjusting the water and stepping into the shower when he got there. He followed in after her and quickly found himself pressed against the wall with her mouth hot on his and her hand tracing down his belly to his cock.

“Think they’d notice if we didn’t show up at brunch?” she gasped when his own fingers moved to her core and started exploring again.

“I’m guessing they’d miss the sister of the groom.”

“They have another,” she said with a shrug.

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her crowding her back so that she was now the one pinned to the wall. He slipped a second finger inside of her and adjusted his hand so he could find her g-spot again. She tossed her head back and made a mewling noise that sent his heart racing faster. Sex had never been like this for him before. Sure he’d always enjoyed it, but it had never been this easy and perfect. Most of the time it took two or three gos to figure out what everyone involved liked and wanted, but Jyn he’d known for years. He knew all her tells, and it was easy to figure out what she did and didn’t like. It was all the intense lust of a new sexual partner with the ease and comfort of a friend you knew inside and out.

“I love how wet you get for me,” he growled in her ear. “Every fucking sound you make is so beautiful.”

“Cassian,” she said in a husky voice that he was sure he was going to dream about. She pushed him away from her gently and turned around bracing her hands on the wall. She sent him a sultry look over her shoulder. “Hurry up. I need you.”

He didn’t hesitate. How could he? In that moment he was pretty sure if she’d told him she needed him to walk across a mile of glass shards barefoot with that look and that voice he would have done it for her. He pressed forward and entered her all in one swift moment, both of them groaning as they joined together. Jyn’s foot slipped and nearly took them both down, but he caught their balance and steadied them with a hand to the wall.

“Alright?”

She gave a breathy little laugh. “Yes, fine. Get moving, Andor.”

He pressed forward and she pushed back to meet him on every thrust. He still couldn’t believe they were doing this raw or how fucking good it felt. He’d never slept with someone without a condom. Of his two long-term relationships, one had been in high school and the other had insisted on the extra layer of protection throughout their time together, and he wasn’t one to argue against the other person’s comfort. As for all his shorter term dating scenarios, you had no idea who was telling the truth about diseases or being on the pill and taking it properly. The idea of accidently getting some random girl pregnant was more than enough to kill any boner. But this was Jyn, who was always bluntly honest. She might conceal things she didn’t want you to know, but she wasn’t a liar. If she said she was clean and safe then that was good enough for him. He never wanted to pull out of her.

They set a brutal rhythm and he kissed along her neck and back pressing against the wall and holding her hip firm. She started chanting a litany of yeses and he knew neither one of them would last much longer. Still he found himself gritting his teeth trying to hold back to make sure she got there. His hand slipped from her hip to reach around and touch her clit and after a few more moments she convulsed underneath him. Her cunt fisted tightly around him and he let go with a cry, releasing his load deep inside her in hot throbbing spurts. He wanted to do this until he died. They stayed there leaning against the wall with him bent over her for a long moment.

“We’re going to be late,” Jyn muttered.

“Your fault for taking such a long run,” he retorted.

She laughed and elbowed him pushing him back and causing him to slip out of her. She turned to face him in the shower spray and he loved the rosy flush on her cheeks and chest.

“Oh, that’s still a weird feeling,” she said slipping her hand between her thighs and rubbing the cum that spilled out of her between her fingertips. If his phone was waterproof he’d be bolting out of the shower. Although he was surprised enough she’d let him take the first photo, and he didn’t want to push his luck. Instead he reached for her hip and slid his other hand down gently wiping her down and working his fingers inside to help guide the rest out. She hissed in a breath. “Careful, or we’ll never get downstairs.” Her eyes were dark as she watched him and he brushed his thumb over her clit again just to see her shiver. She grinned and pushed his arm away. “Don’t tempt me.”

All he wanted to do was reach for her again. Not even for something sexual per se. He just didn’t want to stop touching her now that she’d let him. But there were other ways to manage that. “Turn around.”

She bit her lip and glanced down at his softening dick. “We really don’t have that much time before they come looking.”

He laughed and reached for the shampoo. “I wasn’t suggesting that. I’m going to wash your hair. That’ll be faster, right? If we do this as a team?”

She looked up at him and he could just sense the edge of a laugh on her lips. “Team showering? Is that a thing?”

“Oh yes,” he said slipping into his serious mode. “Ask Kay about it, I’m sure he can give you all the stats on time and water conservation.”

“You and him do it a lot?” she smirked back. “I’d hate to be breaking up such a well synchronized team.”

“It’s fine, he quit due to an injury,” Cassian answered still keeping his face deadly serious. “I’ve been looking for a new partner.”

Jyn finally did give him that laugh and turned around. “How’d he get injured?”

“Trying to do an advanced move,” Cassian improvised pouring out some of the shampoo into his hands and turning to massage it into her hair.

“More advanced than what we were just doing?” She leaned her head back into his hands and closed her eyes.

“It’s a complicated sport.”

“Mmmm, I’ll have to ask him about it at brunch. How are you so good at this?”

“Practice.”

“Seriously, though.”

“I washed hair in a salon in college to make some side money,” he admitted.

“When and why don’t I know this?” she demanded popping her eyes open to look up at him.

He shrugged. “It was freshman year, before you came. I also didn’t, like, brag about it. It bought beer and paid for textbooks.” He turned her around gently to tilt her head back under the water and rinse it out.

“I’m going to abuse this knowledge.”

He snorted. “How?”

“Just going to show up at your apartment demanding you wash my hair,” she said letting her eyes slip closed again.

Cassian smiled at that thought. If it’d guaranteed she’d end up naked and in the shower with him again she sure as hell wouldn’t have to demand. He’d offer every damn day going forward. He rinsed the last of the suds out of her hair and reached for the conditioner. She was soft and compliant under his hands in a way that he’d never experienced before, and he had to admit he liked. Fierce Jyn was something to behold, but this one spoke of a deep trust that filled him with unexpected pride. He just wanted to coddle her until she purred her happiness. He had a feeling she didn’t get the chance often, Jyn didn’t usually inspire gentleness. He conditioned her hair and rinsed it out, tugging her head back tenderly with the last of it to lean in and steal another kiss.

Both of them jumped and nearly slipped as the bathroom door crashed open.

“Jyn, that better be you in there, otherwise Cassian you’re taking too long and Jyn is going to be in so much trouble for being late,” Leia’s voice rang out.

Jyn collected her wits faster than he did and replied, “It’s me. I’ll be out in a few. Did you need something?”

“Grabbing some of your Advil. But I also wanted to check in on you and make sure you were actually getting ready. Where’d Cassian go?”

Jyn glanced up at him with wide eyes and said, “I think he mentioned something about finding a newspaper.”

He mouthed at her, “really?” and rolled his eyes. She shrugged and spread her hands clearly indicating she had panicked.

“He went to find a newspaper?” Leia asked skeptically. “What is he 90? He knows he can get news on his phone, right?”

“Yeah, well, you know Cassian.” He lifted an eyebrow at her and she waved him away.

“Old man in a young man’s body,” Leia intoned. “You know he once told me he took a bird watching class?”

Jyn snorted and looked up at him and it was his turn to shrug. It had been suggested to him as a calming activity and he’d figured it couldn’t hurt to try. Unfortunately for him it’d been duller than watching paint dry and he just didn’t care to learn how to distinguish the birds.

“At least he cares about the news though,” Leia continued and they heard her sit down on the toilet lid. So it was going to be a Han rant then. Cassian reached for the shampoo and nudged Jyn out of the spray a little. They both still had to be showered and on time at the end of this. “Han on the other hand just follows sports and only does that for the gambling. I really don’t know what I see in him.”

Jyn gave a nondescript mmm-hmm that allowed Leia to proceed with the rambling. Cassian cleaned himself up quickly while Leia talked. Jyn bumped him with her hip once he was done brandishing a razor. He watched with interest as she bent over to shave her legs, one because it was a nice view and two because he’d just honestly never seen a woman shave before and had never really thought about the logistics of it.

“You could always break up with him and be single like me,” Jyn advised clearly having listened closer to Leia than Cassian had been. “We could start cruising bars for men together.”

The suggestion pissed him off and he immediately locked down on that feeling. Just because they’d had sex, didn’t mean they were anything. Jyn had made it clear she was just looking for someway to work off steam.

“Yeah right,” Leia said. “You’re terrible at picking up men. You’re always so damn direct. That’s why you only ever get assholes or one night stands. They like a little chase, you know?”

 Jyn made an unladylike noise. “Is that what you were doing for the year and a half you were fighting with Han?”

“Shut up,” Leia shot back. “Look, I’m going back to make sure Han is actually ready to go, but you better hurry. Is Cassian coming back to get you or should Han and I swing by?”

“I can make it downstairs to brunch on my own, Leia,” Jyn fired back, finishing with the razor and turning back around.

“Yeah, but not necessarily on time.”

Cassian grinned and Jyn shot him a glare. “Cassian was coming back up,” Jyn said finally. “So I’m sure he’ll keep me on time.”

“Great, see you two down there!” With that Leia whisked out of the bathroom and hopefully out of the hotel room.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” he replied as she reached to turn the water off and he reached for the towels.

“Good at eating a girl out, washing hair, and bird watching,” Jyn said as he turned to wrap her up in one. “You’re full of surprises.”

Cassian laughed. “I actually sucked at the bird watching, but the other two things are more useful skills anyway so I guess that’s fine.” He started drying himself off and stepped out of the shower. “Now hurry up or we’ll be late, and I’ll be blamed for not keeping you on time.”

* * *

 

“Jyn! Cassian! Right on time,” Luke yelled happily as they entered the hotel restaurant and the private brunch set up for the wedding party.

“If you consider twenty minutes late on time,” Bodhi teased.

“Jyn giving you problems?” Han joked. Cassian schooled his features and tried not to react to that. Trouble was the last thing that Jyn had been giving him.

“I’ve got a lot more hair than him, takes time to dry,” Jyn argued sticking her tongue out and moving to hug her brother and his husband.

She’d also been distracted when Cassian had sank down to his knees in front of her and ate her out one more time to start the morning off right. He couldn’t say he regretted doing it despite the current teasing. Who knew how much longer she’d let him touch her? He wasn’t going to waste time while he had it.

“Well, get food and join us,” Bodhi said gesturing to the buffet line and heading back to the table that hosted him, Luke, Kay, Chewie, Han and Leia.

They headed towards the food and Cassian noticed Jyn’s shoulders tense up in front of him. He followed her gaze over to a table where her father and Orsen Krennic were sitting, the latter looking annoyed and talking rapidly. Krennic gestured to them and caught Cassian’s eye when he looked over. Cassian simply gave the man a neutral nod and slipped a hand to Jyn’s lower back, crowding in close to her, and turning his attention back to the food.

“What are you doing?” she hissed.

“Calm down,” he said. “No one is paying us any mind except Krennic.”

Jyn glanced sideways subtly and gave a small huff of laughter. “Who would have thought the idea of us dating would piss him off this much?”

Cassian glanced around the room to make sure none of their other friends were paying attention and pressed a kiss to her temple. He noticed Luke starting to turn in their direction and backed off reaching for the food.

“Jynnie,” Krennic’s voice rang out sounding way too pleased with himself as he approached them at the end of the buffet. “Your father would like to speak to you.”

“Sure,” Jyn said with a shrug, and Cassian moved to follow her.

“Just Jynnie,” Krennic said putting a hand on Cassian’s chest to still him. Cassian debated pushing past him.

“It’s fine,” Jyn said. “I’ll join you guys in a minute.”

Cassian gave her a nod as she started off towards her father’s table, and he turned to head over to his friends. Krennic’s hand slipped off his chest and grabbed the arm that was holding his plate effectively stilling him.

“A word, Andor?” It was clear he wasn’t getting away from this man without either hearing him out or violence so he stopped and waited saying nothing. “I understand why a man like you would be interested in a woman like our Jynnie, but you must know it’s a short term thing.”

“What do you care?”

“I simply want to look out for you, boy. Little Jynnie is a bit flighty when it comes to the opposite sex. You might be a fun dalliance for her at the moment, but she’ll move on.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“History,” he said lightly. “Trust me, I know her better than you do.”

Cassian didn’t even try to restrain his noise of disbelief. He doubted Krennic knew much about Jyn at all. Whatever he thought Jyn was it was something he’d built in his own mind with no basis in reality. And clearly he thought he had some sort of right to whatever imaginary “Jynnie” he’d conjured in his head.

“Jynnie’s a little lost right now, trying to figure out her place in the world,” Krennic continued. “And sometimes she makes some poor choices, but I know she’ll come around to see sense. She belongs with me and her father, not working in some disgusting little gym cavorting with socialists. Jynnie has a bright future ahead of her, and it doesn’t include you. I won’t let her make the same mistakes her father did, getting distracted by some ill-advised love affair. I’m sure you have certain qualities that would make you interesting to her. What is that term they use? Latin lover? But in the end while you wallow with the lazy and poor, she is of a different caliber with certain opportunities and expectations that simply having known each other from high school will not overcome.”

Cassian stared at the man impassively for a moment. There were a lot of ways to approach this, but he had a feeling getting angry would just make the man shut down and think he’d been proven right about Cassian’s less than civilized status. Furthermore he certainly didn’t want to point out that the so called “ill-advised love affair” the man was referencing was literally Jyn’s mother for fear of starting a fight that she’d eventually get involved in and be hurt by. Fuck, he hated constantly having to rise above. Instead he just said, “You know she hates that nickname, right?”

The man frowned. “What?”

“Jynnie. She hates that name,” he said simply.

“I’ve called her that since she was a child,” Krennic sneered.

“Yeah, and she’s hated it since she was a child. You can ask her if you want.”

“You’re obviously trying to get a rise out of me, make me angry.”

“Only if facts could somehow make you angry.” Cassian shrugged working to look utterly unperturbed by the man starting to turn red with anger across from him. He glanced over at Jyn and her father conversing at the table in the corner and wondered what Galen had said to put that blush on her cheeks.

“My point is,” Krennic snapped drawing Cassian’s attention back to him. “ _Jynnie_ has choices. Choices I’d prefer you didn’t get in the way of. You won’t hold her back from her bright future.”

“I never have before,” he replied lightly. “I don’t intend to start now. And if you knew her at all, you’d know that Jyn doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in her way when she wants something. She’s brilliant, beautiful, and determined. Nothing you or I could ever do could change that. Have a little more faith in her, yeah?” He clapped the man on the shoulder with his free hand, maybe a little rougher than was altogether friendly, and walked away with a little whistle.

He could hear the man sputtering behind him and he allowed himself a small smile before he joined the others. Everyone looked a little worse for wear and he was suddenly quite grateful he and Jyn had left early. Not only because it’d been incredible sex, but also because he was delightfully not hung over.

"What are you smiling about?” Han groused poking at his food. Leia smacked him on the back of the head and he groaned.

“Excited for food,” Cassian said noncommittally.

“Why?” Kay asked. “It’s not very good.”

“Kay,” Leia chastised.

“I’m simply stating a fact. This hotel has subpar culinary skills.”

“Yeah, well if you were hung over you wouldn’t think so,” Bodhi said digging into his own food.

“Yes, but I am not stupid enough to drink enough alcohol to inflict bodily harm on myself.”

Jyn slipped into the chair next to Cassian. He glanced at her, but she seemed alright. “What are we talking about?”

“Kay is lecturing us all on being irresponsible,” Bodhi filled in good-naturedly.

“Sorry to have missed the start of that,” Jyn teased.

“It is not my fault that I am right. If you all would drink less then you would understand what poor quality this food is. You would also not expect sympathy for something you have brought upon yourselves.”

Jyn laughed. “We get it, Kay. You’re right as always.”

Kay turned sharp eyes on her, and Cassian braced himself. Kay and Cassian had become friends in college and Jyn and Kay did not always get along. “You are unusually pleasant this morning. Ordinarily you only grunt like an animal when hung over.”

“Kay has a point,” Leia put in. “You’re practically glowing. Hardly your normal hangover look.”

Cassian glanced at her. Their friends weren’t wrong. She looked more like a woman who had climaxed multiple times than one who’d taken that last ill-advised shot.

“Yeah, well the run helped,” Jyn said easily dumping hot sauce over her eggs. “Sweated the alcohol right out. You should try it sometime.”

The other occupants of the table groaned and conversation moved away from Jyn’s current wellbeing and towards Luke and Bodhi’s impending honeymoon. Cassian brushed his knee against hers under the table in question and she turned slightly towards him.

“Okay?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” she said equally quietly. “Krennic apparently thought our relationship was worrisome and brought his concerns to my father.”

“Oh?”

Jyn glanced at the other’s making sure no one was paying attention to their conversation. “I may have told Papa we’d just started dating and didn’t want to tell the others in case it didn’t work out.”

“And he was ok with that?”

“He said he always thought you were a very nice young man, if not a little reticent, and that he supported me no matter what I chose to do.”

Cassian smiled a little at that. He’d never thought Galen Erso was a particularly bad man, just always a bit emotionally crippled by his wife’s death. He may not have been the most available father in the universe, but he did care for his children in his own way.

“Oh, and you’re invited to Thanksgiving.”

Cassian gave a little start at that. “That’s like five months away.”

“Yeah, well Papa said he figured I’d want you to come even if it didn’t work out just to piss off Krennic.”

Cassian laughed at that. “He knows you better than you think.”

“What’s so funny?” Bodhi demanded turning the table’s attention back to them.

“Apparently Krennic saw Jyn and I going into the same hotel room last night,” Cassian covered swiftly, “and brought his fears that we were dating to Galen.” There was no harm in giving them an extra protective layer of denial if Krennic or Galen said something to any of their friends.

Bodhi laughed. “That was stupid. Galen has always really liked you. He wouldn’t care if you and Jyn were dating. Heck, he’d probably be happy.”

“Can you imagine though?” Leia asked. “Jyn and Cassian?”

“Right Mr. even-keeled politico and Miss let’s punch it if it looks at me wrong. What a match made in hell,” Han opined.

“Know from personal experience, do you?” Jyn fired back.

“They are all wrong for each other,” Kay said firmly, “But not for that reason.”

“Oh yeah? What do you know?” Han demanded.

“They are wrong for each other because Jyn has serious commitment and familial issues, whereas Cassian prefers a steady partner and looks forward to having a family one day. We’re all well aware his relationship with Nioma only ended because she did not want to get married and have children,” Kay stated plainly.

“I do not have commitment issues,” Jyn said affronted, and Cassian was just grateful Kay didn’t point out the fact that he’d said commitment _and_ familial issues. The rest of the table laughed and Jyn glared clearly on the defensive. “I don’t. Did any of you really want me to continue dating any of the guys I’ve been with?”

A chorus of “nos” rang out around the table. “She has us there,” Bodhi said. “Jyn has crap taste in men.”

“She has crap taste because if she dated a good guy she’d have to commit,” Leia countered. “It’s a paradox.”

“I don’t know why everyone keeps mixing up ‘liking to have fun’ with ‘commitment issues,’” Han defended earning an outraged look from Leia and a snicker from Chewie.

“Who asked all of you?” Jyn demanded.

“Beyond the obvious, their sexual preferences also do not align,” Kay continued as if a different fight hadn’t broken out.

“Can we not?” Cassian asked with little hope. In all the years he’d known Kay, he’d never been able to stop him from expressing his opinion.

“Yeah?” Han broke in tauntingly, raising his eyebrows. “And what do you know about their sexual preferences? You and Cassian closer than we think? Or did Jyn talk the two of you into doing something dirty in college?” Leia smacked him again. “Damnit, woman, stop doing that.” This just prompted another hit.

“Basic observations that even a primate could make reveal the obvious,” Kay fussed back. “Jyn prefers a more physically attractive, less emotionally invested conquest. From stories she has told about her sexual encounters she’s often left unfulfilled by the various men she takes to bed, but this is offset by the lack of complication that ensues. Cassian on the other hand tends to court women based on their personalities and takes compatible interests into consideration. In public he is more tactile with the women who he shows an interest in, and considering the fact that it has always been him who has ended the relationships other than Nioma, it is fair to assume the women were satisfied with his copulation methods.”

“Kay,” Cassian warned. He’d met Kay in a statistics class his sophomore year of college and been one of the few people willing to put up with Kay’s awkward interpersonal skills. He could admit that at the start it’d been because he needed Kay’s help to pass, but he’d quickly discovered Kay was funny in his own dry way and a good and loyal friend. Luckily enough Kay and Bodhi had shared an interest in planes and flying. They had gotten along swimmingly (well swimmingly for Kay) and the rest was history.

“What? I have said nothing untrue,” the man in question replied. “Jyn does not often have repeat sexual encounters and you rarely have one night stands. It should also be stated that they have mutually “friendzoned” each other.”

“Do you even know what that means, Kay?” Jyn asked rolling her eyes.

“It means you have both placed each other in the category of friend and no longer see each other as potential sexual partners.”

“Yeah, well, they have known each other since Cassian had braces and acne and Jyn was still flat chested and obsessed with Hot Topic,” Bodhi put in. “It’s kind of hard to see someone sexually after that.”

Cassian would like to argue that point. Just because they’d seen each other in their gawky adolescent stages didn’t mean they’d gone blind. He’d known before getting Jyn naked that she was attractive. He figured protesting would be more suspicious though, so he kept his mouth shut.

“The point is they are uniquely ill-suited for one another,” Kay finished firmly.

“Alright, alright,” Jyn said stabbing her food with her fork. “There’s got to be something to talk about other than this.”

Their friends decided to take pity on them and conversation turned to something other than a potential, or rather doomed, relationship between the two of them. Cassian focused on his food and ignored them all. The giddy feeling that had been simmering under his skin all morning had deserted him. It was silly to be disappointed. He’d known what this was. Kay was right, he didn’t operate the way Jyn did. He’d slept with her all of what, twice, and was already invested? They were just friends. Friends who’d had sex and weren’t going to do it again. Wedding weekend, right? So what if he was going to be hearing the little sounds of pleasure she made in his dreams for months to come?

Jyn reached over and squeezed his knee bringing him back to the present. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” he said careful to mask any emotions that might show on his face. “Just fine.”

She cocked her head at him, but was distracted when Chewie asked her a question. He was fine. He would have to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting early as I have family in town and won't be able to post tomorrow! Poor little Cassian, already in too deep.


	4. The One With the Photo

“Alright, little sister?”

“Fine,” Jyn said, taking a gulp from her water bottle. “Why do you ask?” Baze glanced at the students filing out of the room all looking a little more beaten than usual. “It’s the advanced class. I thought the point was to challenge them.”

“Challenge them, yes, kill them, no. We still need them to pay their gym bills.”

Jyn shrugged. He was exaggerating.   She hadn’t gone that hard on them. They hadn’t seen hard till they’d trained with Saw Gerrera. She headed to the staff room with Baze trailing behind.

“Something is troubling you.”

“Now you sound like Chirrut,” Jyn tried to tease.

“I had to wear off on him eventually,” Chirrut said happily from where he was making tea in the corner. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Jyn is set on killing our members for some indeterminate reason.”

“She has had a very negative energy surrounding her for days now,” Chirrut noted. “What happened, little one?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Jyn said throwing herself down on the ratty old couch. Baze and Chirrut were the only ones who could get away with such sentimental nicknames other than her father. If anything they had become the fathers she’d never had. Papa loved her, but could only manage so much. Baze and Chirrut were her emotional rocks and her conscience north stars. They also didn’t let her get away with much.

“She’s not,” Baze groused.

“Well, it couldn’t have happened at the wedding,” Chirrut noted. “She came back practically shining even to my blind eyes she was so bright with happiness. So it had to have happened since then.”

“That’s odd,” Baze said rubbing his chin. “Usually it’s the other way around, she comes back from the family events upset and slowly works her way back to normal. Especially ones where Orsen Krennic is present. You complained all week leading up to the wedding that you were going to have to deal with him.”

“Yeah, well, whatever,” Jyn said. She’d found lying to Chirrut and Baze was often futile so she preferred to just not address issues when they existed.

“Yes, something good happened at the wedding,” Chirrut said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, my brother got married to the love of his life,” Jyn countered.

“Something good happened to you directly,” Chirrut corrected. “You were,” he paused. “Lighter. Like some of the weight you carry had been relieved.”

“I’m fine,” Jyn stated again. “Stop prying.”

“Go home,” Baze said.

“I’ve got another class in an hour.”

“I’ll cover it,” Baze replied. “We want people to come back after all. Whatever is wrong with you, deal with it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she argued. And maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d eventually believe it.

“You’re in a funk, little sister,” Baze said dropping a hand on her shoulder. “Get some sleep and reset yourself.”

She shrugged him off and got to her feet. “Whatever.” She didn’t mean to be short with them, but over the years of knowing them she’d learned they could be pushy when they wanted to know something, and she had no intention of sharing. She was just fine. Jyn grabbed her duffle and headed out, sending them a short wave before leaving.

It’s not like she was really in a funk. Who cared if Cassian had been ignoring her for two weeks now? She certainly didn’t. He was busy working and she was busy with her own stuff. They’d fucked at the wedding and that was that. There was no reason to expect he’d want to continue. In fact, she didn’t want to continue. Continuing would be friendship suicide. But that didn’t mean he had to shut her out. Every time she texted it took hours for him to respond and then he was always busy when he finally did. She’d pop over to Han and his’ apartment and he’d always be out, or still at work, or over at Kay’s, or in the middle of something he just simply couldn’t stop in order to talk to her. If she’d known that having sex with him meant they couldn’t be friends anymore she wouldn’t have done it. Okay, she would have at least weighed it heavily before she did it. It wasn’t her fault that he was so good at it.

Jyn jumped on the subway and tried to focus on anything else. She’d wasted enough time thinking about Cassian Andor. If he wanted to be an immature ass and ignore her that was his prerogative. Who needed him anyway? She had plenty of friends, and when he decided to stop being a moron, well she was just going to ignore him right back, see how he liked it. No crawling to her the next time his laptop was acting up, or when he wanted a new gym routine, or when he just wanted to grab a drink and complain when his job was kicking his ass. No, she’d be busy fucking braiding Leia’s hair if that’s what it took.

She spent the rest of the trip home unsuccessfully trying to ignore the issue. Every time she got her mind on a different topic it would inevitably circle back to him. Think about what she was having for dinner and she’d end up wondering what he was making for dinner. Think about the new book she had started and she’d end up wondering what Cassian’s thoughts would be on it. And so on. The truth was she’d gotten very used to Cassian being a daily constant in her life. They lived across the hall from each other and were incessantly in each other’s apartments and business. Usually he came into the gym a couple times a week too, and she’d been known to pop in at his and Leia’s work with coffee or takeout to get them through long nights. He was always at the top of her texts, and the first person she’d fire off memes to on social media. Not that he’d been responding to those recently with more than a meager emoji or lol.

Jyn growled low in frustration and ignored the woman seated next to her who gave her a wary look and then stood up and moved to the other end of the subway car. It just didn’t make sense _why_ he would be avoiding her. They’d both had a good time. At least she’d thought they had. Sure, she’d come a couple more times than he had, but well she couldn’t fix faulty male physiology. But maybe he thought she was selfish? Maybe he was worried she’d want more and he wasn’t willing to provide? She’d thought she made it clear there were no strings. He never had to touch her again if he didn’t want to. It seemed silly. If anything Cassian always had the tendency to think he deserved less than he actually did, and he’d always indulged her selfishness in the past with an easy smile and maybe at worst, a gentle reprimand when she stole his food, or used him as a footrest, or a plethora of other small liberties she’d taken with him. But the only reason she could think of, other than him being angry about her taking too much, was that he’d been pretending to be her friend all these years to get her into bed and now that he had he had no interest in her. That seemed much more far-fetched though as he’d never once attempted to get her into bed in all the time they’d known each other, and Cassian certainly wasn’t the type of man to play the nice-guy and think he’d earned sex by being friendly. From what she’d witnessed over the years, he was always direct when he pursued a woman and backed off the second his interest wasn’t returned. Either way after over a decade of knowing each other he owed her an explanation at the very least.

Jyn jumped up at her stop with a new determination lighting her steps. She was going to get answers whether Cassian wanted to give them or not. If she had to she’d corner him and threaten him. He trained with her a lot, but she was still pretty confident she could kick his ass.

Jyn practically flew up the five flights of stairs in their apartment building. She banged once on Cassian and Han’s door and shoved her way in not waiting for a response. They all tended to leave their doors unlocked when anyone was home so she and Leia could come in and out and vice versa.

“Where’s Cassian?”

“Jesus,” Han jumped. “What’s got you all worked up?”

“I need to talk to Cassian.”

“Why?” Han asked ignoring his video game for the moment.

“None of your fucking business,” Jyn said already spoiling for a fight.

“Whoo boy, what’d he do?” Han asked grinning. “I haven’t seen you this spitting mad at him since you got in that fight over whether drone strikes were necessary or not.”

“You really want to be in the middle of it?” she threatened.

“Fuck no,” Han said with a shrug. “He’s in his room. I’m in the middle of something though.” He gestured to the game and the headset where she was sure his team was yelling at him. In fact, she could almost make out a garbled growl that even at this distance she was sure was Chewie reaming him out. “So keep the screaming to a minimum, yeah?”

“You’re one to fucking talk,” Jyn spat back, but she was already crossing the living room to Cassian’s room.

Much like the front door she rapped once and then forced herself into the dimly lit room shutting the door behind her. “We have to talk.”

Cassian blinked up at her from his bed clearly surprised, his phone slapped down onto the mattress next to him. “Jyn?”

She started pacing to control the nervous energy racing though her. “Is there a reason you’re avoiding me?”

“I’m not,” he started to argue instantly.

“You are,” Jyn hissed. “And all I want to know is why.”

“Jyn, I’m not,” he said shaking his head and looking uncomfortable. “Look, can we do this later?”

“Oh, is now not convenient for you?” Jyn bit out sarcastically. “Should I schedule an appointment for sometime next week? Or would you just prefer to ghost me until we barely nod to each other if we happen to run into one another in the hallway?”

“Jyn, I’m not-”

"You are,” she said fiercely. “And I want to know why. Either its because you’re scared I’ll jump you again and you don’t want that or because you got what you wanted and we were never friends to begin with.”

“Jyn, look can you just give me like ten minutes and I’ll come over to yours and we can talk?” And his eyes pleaded with her, but his hand twitched on top of his phone.

And so yeah, maybe she overreacted, but she was filled with adrenaline and rage and it was never a good combo, so she leapt forward and grabbed his phone. “What? In the middle of an important conversation?” she demanded dancing away from his hand that shot out to grab the phone back. “Don’t worry. I’ll text them and tell them you just need five minutes to dump your loser friend and you’ll be right back.”

He made a strangled sound that sort of sounded like her name, but she’d already flipped the phone over and typed his passcode into it, which she’d known for years, although not because he’d given it to her. And what greeted her was definitely not a texting conversation. She stared down at the photo for a moment wordless, and then glanced back up to Cassian where he still sat in the bed, a pillow tugged into his lap, and his face turning the darkest shade of red she thought she’d ever seen on him. Jyn looked back down at what was clearly the photo he took of her and grit her teeth.

“So it was the last one then?” she asked quietly and hated the way her voice sounded weak.

“Jyn-”

“You got what you wanted and we’re done,” she said looking up and steeling her jaw, forcing the words out with more strength then she really had. “Good to know. Stupid me thinking we were friends. Well, enjoy.” She tossed the phone blindly towards the bed and headed for the door. The video game would probably keep Han too tied up to interrogate her, and she could make it back to her apartment before she cried. Although Leia was going to be absolute hell to deal with once that happened, demanding to know what happened and who she should kill.

She tugged the door open and was surprised when his palm slapped down above her and slammed it back shut, essentially trapping her in the room between his body and the door.

“Cassian,” she growled not turning or removing her hand from the knob. “Let me out.”

“In a second,” he said.

“Everything alright in there?” Han’s voice asked from the living room clearly having heard the slam.

“Fine!” Jyn and Cassian yelled in unison, their annoyance matching.

“Fine, kill each other, see if I care!” Han shouted back.

“Jyn, please just give me a minute to explain,” he begged. “You caught me a little by surprise. Obviously.”

She hunched her shoulders defensively, but dropped her hand from the door handle and turned around to face him crossing her arms as she did. “I’m counting seconds.”

“I’m avoiding you.”

“Well aware,” she spat.

“But not for either of the reasons you think,” Cassian defended quickly. He sighed and chose a spot above her shoulder to stare at. “Look, I can barely be in the same room as you and not want to press you into a wall and kiss you senseless. I can’t fucking stop thinking about that night, and the way you looked, and the sounds you made, and how good you felt, and I know I’m not allowed to. I know you just wanted that one night stand. You made yourself very clear. So I’m trying to get myself back to normal so we can be just friends again, but right now I’m having some problems with my hormones.”

“And masturbating to _that_ was helping you get back to normal?”

Cassian dropped his head and spread his hands helplessly. “I broke. I mean what did you think I was going to do with the picture, Jyn?”

It was her turn to blush. “I mean, I didn’t really think about it hard at the time, and yeah obviously that, but I figured you’d still be talking to me when you did.”

“Jyn,” he sighed. And he looked adorable for a man standing in the middle of his room wearing only his boxers and an erection, which made her even angrier – how dare he look adorable after this. “I’m sorry. I’m really trying to respect your boundaries, but you’re going to have to give me some time to get it out of my head. I didn’t expect us to, I don’t know, click so well in bed. I’ll go out tomorrow night and try to find someone else to blow off steam with, and maybe it’ll get my head back on straight.” He backed away from her, releasing the door and walking back over to the bed to retrieve his phone before holding it out to her. “You can delete the photo if you want. I shouldn’t have, well, anyway, sorry.”

She stared at the phone, but didn’t make any move to take it. “So let me get this straight. You’re avoiding me because you _want_ to have sex with me again?”

He looked embarrassed and shrugged a little. “Essentially. But I swear I’ll move past it. I want us to continue being friends, Jyn. Honestly avoiding you probably just made it worse, because I miss you all the time. I can’t imagine not being friends with you.”

“Or we could just be friends with benefits and solve the whole thing.” He blinked at her a couple times, and Jyn shifted on her feet trying to remain aloof. This was just two friends helping each other out, it didn’t have to be a big thing. “I mean you’re right, we clicked or whatever. I’d enjoy doing it more. Sex, that is. With you.”

She could see Cassian swallow. “Are you serious?”

“I mean as long as you’re able to be my fucking friend and act normally around me when we’re not fucking, I don’t see why not.”

She let out a little squeak when her back hit the door and his lips pressed against hers in a hot needy kiss that had her knees going weak.

“Still alright in there?” Han yelled.

Cassian pulled away from her to yell, “Mind your fucking business, Solo.” They heard muttering from the living room, but neither of them paid it much attention as they went back to kissing.

And this was everything, Jyn thought. This was hot and perfect and knee wobbly and why he had thought she wouldn’t want this again she legitimately could not say. Jyn pressed up on her tiptoes and gave as good as she got. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she pressed closer wanting to feel all of him. She was still mildly irritated with him, but honestly if he was just dumb she could forgive him. If he just wanted her more and didn’t know how to say it, well she totally got that. She shoved at him herding him back to the bed.

“Jyn, I’m sorry,” he muttered between kisses. “I didn’t mean to shut you out. I just wanted you so badly.”

She tried to ignore the rush of emotions that confession sent through her. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. You like me and I like you. We’re friends who have amazing sex together. I did the same thing you know.”

He hummed a question into her throat.

“I masturbated while thinking about you,” she admitted. “My vibrator isn’t quite as precise as your tongue though.”

“Then use me instead,” he said breathlessly.

“Another time,” she said pushing hard on his shoulder and smiling as he willingly sat down on the bed. She reached down and yanked on his boxers. He enthusiastically lifted his hips and she tugged his boxers down before shoving his knees apart and sinking down to her own knees between them.

“You didn’t sleep with anyone else while you were ignoring me, did you?” she demanded.

“No. I only even thought about you. Jyn, I want to kiss you,” he said pulling on her ponytail.

“Too bad,” she replied. Then she lowered her head and swallowed him as deep as she could fighting her own gag reflex.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

She lifted off him with a wet slurping noise and smiled. “Be quiet or Han will hear you.” Then she promptly went back to blowing him. She moved up and down his shaft sucking him hard and fast. She didn’t want to draw it out tonight. She wanted him to come hard and be unable to think about anyone else but her. She wanted him crawling to her on hands and knees for more. He made weak little wanting noises and she liked that too. She bobbed her head working her tongue around and over his tip making his hips jerk involuntarily. She could tell he was struggling to stay still under her ministrations and it just egged her on. Her hands cupped his balls massaging him gently and she flicked her eyes up to meet his.

“Jyn,” he said raggedly. “I’m going to come.”

She pulled off him for a moment. “You can come in my mouth if you want.”

He whimpered as she descended on him again and she sucked harder dragging her tongue up the bottom of his shaft and making positively lewd wet noises as she worked him. He was spilling into her mouth shortly after and she swallowed him down easily.

She pulled back and stood up. “I should go.”

“Are you fucking serious?” he asked still sounding breathless.

“Yeah, Han will wonder.”

“Fuck Han. I want to eat you out.”

She grinned. “You really want to deal with explaining this to all our friends? We’ll never hear the end of it, and they’ll all have an opinion. Kay alone will be hell. Are you prepared to sit through all the stats on why I’m awful and you should not have sex with me? Or how friends with benefits relationships always end in disaster?”

“Still,” he said grabbing her hand. “I want to make the last couple weeks up to you. We could be quick about it?”

“Someone’s confident,” she said, but couldn’t hide her smile. He probably could get her off quickly if he put his mind to it. He’d proven talented so far. “But I’m disgusting from work.”

“I don’t care,” he said earnestly reaching for her hips.

She danced away. “Look, as far as I know Han and Leia aren’t fighting so she’ll probably end up here tonight. When they go to bed you should come over.”

“But that’s hours away,” he said frowning.

“Who’s impatient now?” she teased, but the fact that he wanted her sent a warm little glow through her whole system. “What were we fighting about?”

“Huh?”

She gestured around the room. “Han is going to want to know.”

“Han can mind his business.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “He might, but he’ll tell Leia we were fighting and she never will. Not even you can get her off course.”

He grimaced and thought for a moment. “Futbol then? Only Bodhi knows enough to ask more questions or care exactly what the fight was about and he’s still away with Luke.”

“We got in a door slamming fight over football?”

He shrugged. “It’s not the most unbelievable thing. You like slamming doors when you fight. Do you have any better suggestions?”

“We fucked and you’ve been ignoring me after?” He shot her a withering look. “Or maybe the fact that I found out that you narced to Chirrut and Baze a month ago about my client Toby being a total sexually harassing douche bag when I told you I could handle it.”

Cassian flinched. “So you know about that?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Jyn answered. “You were the only one I’d admitted that to, and two days later Chirrut and Baze revoked his membership.”

“I kind of hoped you’d told Bodhi too?” he offered up weakly.

Jyn shrugged. “It’s fine. He was an asshole. Just don’t do it again.” Then she leaned down and kissed him. “See you later.” She walked out of his room with her head held high and a casual saunter.

“Is he dead?” Han asked watching her cross the living room warily.

"He’s learned his lesson about meddling in other people’s affairs,” Jyn said shrugging. “See you later Han.”

She practically skipped across the hallway and found that she couldn’t stop grinning. She was in such deep trouble. She knew that on some level, but at the same time couldn’t bring herself to care. How bad could it really go? As long as they were on the same page about their friendship then they should enjoy this while they had it. Eventually the sex would taper off, and get less exciting, and they’d get bored and mutually go back to just being friends. It didn’t have to get bad or complicated, and as long as they didn’t let their friends in on the secret they could just have fun while it ran it’s course.

Jyn showered, put on one of the few pairs of stupidly uncomfortable, but pretty, underwear that she owned under her PJ shorts, and tired to distract herself with a Netflix show while she waited. Leia came home and talked at her for a bit, but she didn’t register much of it, just nodded along and waited for her to leave. Leia made her excuses a short time later and bounced out of their apartment. Jyn had never been so grateful for her and Han’s relationship than she was now. It’d still probably take an hour or two until they actually went to bed and Cassian could leave unnoticed, but she didn’t mind. She relaxed on the couch and allowed herself to daydream about what he might do to her later.

A knock disturbed her thoughts no less than fifteen minutes later, and she sat up as the door opened letting Cassian inside.

She lifted an eyebrow. “They go to bed early?”

“No, they just started being mushy with each other, which is honestly worse than when they fight so I asked why they had to do it in our apartment, which inevitably led to Leia suggesting I go to yours and join you watching TV if I had a problem.”

“Sometimes its creepy how easily you manipulate people to do what you want,” she noted, but couldn’t stop smiling.

He returned her smile. “So, watching anything good?”

“Nope,” she said flicking the remote to turn it off and standing up. He crossed the room quickly and then they were kissing again and yes, this is what she’d been missing. His hands were on her neck and hip and she was already impatient. She grabbed one and shoved it into her shorts so he would touch her more directly.

His fingers moved over her damp underwear and under it. “You’re soaked.”

“Yeah, well I’ve had a while to work myself up thinking about it,” she said and gasped as he immediately slipped two fingers inside her.

“And what exactly were you imagining?” he asked before moving his mouth down to her throat and sucking on her pulse point.

"This,” she panted as he thrust his fingers slowly in and out of her. “And your mouth.”

“What about my mouth?”

“Everywhere,” she breathed. “I want your mouth everywhere. On my neck, on my breasts, on my stomach, on my pussy.”

“Yes, I want to do all that,” he murmured against her collarbone. “Anything else?”

“I want to ride you,” she said as he pulled her tank top down to suck on her bare nipple. She hadn’t bothered to put a bra on when she’d gotten out of the shower. “I want to get on top of you and ride you till you come inside me.”

“Are you sure?” he asked raising his head. “I have condoms this time.”

She smirked and slipped her hand into his back pocket feeling the packaging. “A few too, you’re confident.”

His hand slipped out of her and she growled. His wet fingers reached back to encircle her wrist and draw her hand out of his pocket and up to his lips. “I learned my lesson about being prepared.”

She laughed and pulled her hand free. “All the same. I want to feel you come inside me.” She started towards her bedroom and then turned, “Unless you didn’t like it?”

“I like it,” he said quickly. “I like it a lot.”

“Well then, get a move on, soldier,” she teased slipping into her bedroom without bothering to look back. She’d barely made it halfway to the bed when strong hands were helping her tug her shirt up and off. He shoved her hair to the side to get to her neck again and a hand came up to caress her breast, the other trailing down and into her shorts again pulling her back tight against him. She loved that too. She rocked her hips on his fingers and he pressed his palm into her clit to give her better friction.

“I’m going to make you scream my name,” he stated calmly into her ear and she shivered hard.

“Cassian,” she hissed. His fingers worked her harder and faster and she whimpered. “How are you this good at this?”

He laughed softly. “It’s not that difficult to find your sweet spots,” he said curling his fingers into her g-spot and pressing hard. She tossed her head back into his chest.

“History would beg to disagree.”

“Yeah, well I know you better than any of them ever did,” he said.

“Fuck if friendship makes you this good at sex I should give Han a try next,” she joked.

He pulled his hands free and she would have protested if he hadn’t immediately pulled down her shorts and underwear, and so much for putting on the uncomfortable ones as he didn’t even notice, and pressed her forward so she was bent over the bed on her stomach. His arm pressed down across her hips pinning her to the bed. “Take it back.”

She strained her neck to look over her shoulder at him. “You gonna make me?” She startled at the quick playful smack to the ass he retaliated with.

“No good?” he asked.

“Not sure yet,” she said thoughtfully. “Do it again.” He smacked her again and the sharp snap sent little shockwaves through her oversensitive body that were not altogether unpleasant. “Something to be explored, later.” He laughed and pressed his fingers back inside her using the new angle to his advantage and Jyn groaned twisting against his restraining arm trying to ride him better.

"No,” he said using his body to press her down into the bed more firmly. “You get control later. Right now just be good and let me make you come.”

“Fine,” she hissed, but couldn’t stop writhing underneath him as he worked her. She never wanted this to end, his weight on top of her, hot breath fanning out across her neck, his fingers so deep inside her, pleasure rippling through her whole body. She felt her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave and she cried out clenching around Cassian’s fingers before going completely boneless underneath him.

He stroked her a few more times before pulling his fingers out and stepping back from her. She was about to send up a weak protest, but his hands just as quickly returned to her hips and rolled her over on to her back. He smiled down at her and leaned down to kiss her. She laughed into it.

“What?” he asked pulling back.

“I just thought about when we were kids,” she answered grinning. “I had a sleepover with a friend and you came over to hang out with Bodhi. She got an instant crush on you and wondered what it would be like to kiss you, and I told her she was disgusting and there wasn’t enough money in the world to make me want to do that.”

“Which friend?” he asked with a lewd little grin. “Was she cute?”

“Fuck you,” she said smacking his chest. He laughed and backed off pressing her thighs apart and sinking down in front of her at the end of the bed. His tongue worked its way up her slit and then he closed his lips over her clit. “I don’t know what happened to her. We stopped hanging out not long after.”

“Jealous?” And he was lucky he went directly back to sucking her clit after he said it or she would have kicked him.

“No,” she gasped. “You treated me like dirt back then.”

He pulled back looking affronted and she gave a little whimper. “I did not.”

“You did too,” she argued. “You always glared or argued with me whenever I tried to hang out with you and Bodhi.”

“That’s because you always glared or argued with me! I was shocked the first time you were nice to me, couldn’t figure out what I’d done to bring it on. Figured I’d just ride it out till you went back to being nasty, but you never did. Want to tell me what brought on the change?”

“I overheard you defending Bodhi to a bunch of dickheads,” she admitted. “Made me think you maybe deserved a chance.”

“Remember who they were?”

“Who?”

“The dickheads,” he said, “I’d like to send them a thank you.”

Jyn laughed. “Veers and Piett I think.”

“Nevermind, they really were dickheads, I’m not saying shit to them.”

“If it helps I think they’re just loser townies now,” Jyn laughed.

“Good,” he said and then refocused his attention on her dripping cunt. Jyn gasped and grabbed the sheets. He rested his arm across her abdomen to keep her pinned down again and she keened under his mouth. This was so much better than her own memory and imagination. Cassian shifted and dragged her legs over his shoulders pulling her ass almost off the end of the bed. He increased the pressure licking and sucking her until she was a panting quaking mess. She went over the edge for a second time that night and true to his word he had her screaming his name.

When she was coherent enough to see straight again she reached down to lace her hands in Cassian’s hair. He was placing languid kisses along the inside of her thigh and she smiled lazily. “Come up here.”

He beamed and moved her legs carefully off his shoulders making sure she wouldn’t slide off the bed when unsupported. Standing up he stripped down and Jyn just lay there and enjoyed the show. When he was finally bare he crawled into the bed next to her and she finally gathered enough strength to lift herself and shove herself further up the bed.

“Hi,” she said stupidly, stroking a hand up his arm and then continuing to explore his chest. He huffed a laugh and she enjoyed his body moving under her palm. Cassian may work long hours in politics, but he’d never let himself go. His body was lithe and muscled and she found she surprisingly preferred it to the gym rats she generally went out with. “You’re beautiful.” He stilled under her hand and she pulled back confused. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said forcing a smile.

“What is it?”

“I just,” he said and shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. “Sorry, I was surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever been called beautiful before.”

“Sorry, I suppose I should have said handsome,” she corrected.

"No, beautiful will work,” he said with a smile reaching out and pushing her hair behind her ear. “I’m still getting used to compliments from Jyn Erso.”

She blushed. “I’ve given you compliments before.”

“Saying things like ‘that wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be, Andor,” hardly counts as high praise,” he said, but the gentle smile he gave her told her he was teasing rather than chastising.

She shrugged. “I’ve never been good at-” She trailed off. Words weren’t her thing. She’d always failed at explaining herself. You could ask her English teachers if you wanted proof. She’d passed, but words were not her forte.

He dug his fingers into her hair and pulled her towards him, kissing her hard. “It’s fine,” he said finally. “Any compliments you want to give me I’ll take. Verbally or otherwise.”

Jyn kissed him back just as fiercely trying to express how much she appreciated that. She’d been told more than once she was emotionally unavailable, and she never meant to be, it just kept her safe. But Cassian wouldn’t hurt her. Cassian already knew all her fucked up baggage. Cassian was just as protective of her as he was of Bodhi, or Kay, or any of their friends. He wouldn’t hold it against her if she said nonsense in the heat of the moment. She slipped her hand down to her pussy and collected her own slick before reaching forward and grabbing his dick with her wet fingers. He breathed out harshly into their kiss.

“You have the most amazing cock I’ve ever had the pleasure of having inside me,” she said letting the words flow out before she could think and hesitate. “You fit me so perfectly. I want to feel it again. Feel you.”

“I’ll do whatever you want whenever you want, Jyn.”

“You know I like that,” she said pushing on his shoulder so he’d lay flat on his back. She threw a leg over him and sat on his abdomen rocking herself against him. He let out a groan that shot straight to her core. “I’m going to ride you now, Cassian. I’m going to ride you better than anyone ever has. Do you want that?” He whimpered a yes and reached for her hips digging in his fingers. “I’m going to ride you till you break and come deep inside me.” His hips jerked up at that and she was glad to make him squirm as much as he had her.

Jyn arched back putting on a little show, which, by the way his dark wide eyes followed her movements, he enjoyed. Then she lifted herself up and grabbed his cock, positioning him and running just the tip of him through her slick.

His fingers dug in hard on her hips, but he didn’t force her down on him. “Jyn, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” she said and promptly slipped down on him sinking directly to his base. She’d so rarely been wet enough to take a man fully and comfortably on the first thrust. She crumpled a bit at the feel leaning forward and pressing her hands into his chest. One of his hands left her hip to run soothingly up and down her waist.

“You feel so fucking good,” he said. And she raised her face to look him in the eyes and all she wanted to do was make them roll back in his head. She shifted her weight and started to move and dragged a guttural curse from him. His hand moved from her side to touch her clit and she batted him away.

“Not yet,” she panted. “I’ll come too soon.”

“Don’t mind.”

“I do. Stay with me.”

They moved together and it was hot and intense and Jyn wasn’t sure if she was going to implode or explode. Cassian was going to leave bruises on her hips and thighs and she didn’t care. They were both gasping and saying warm words encouraging each other on, and she wanted to live in this moment forever, but she was getting close and if the strain in his body meant anything she thought he was too.

“Cassian, are you close?”

“Yes, yes. Jyn, yes.” His hips moved erratically against her and she leaned down to kiss him. When she pulled back he asked, “Can I touch you now?”

“Do you ever just worry about yourself?” she asked with a laugh.

“Watching you come makes it better.”

“Then yeah, you can touch me now.” His thumb was instantly on her clit and she cried out. Fuck, she was still going to come before him. How did he get her this worked up? She struggled to keep up her pace and then his cock hit her g-spot right as his thumb pressed just right and she screamed his name again, the walls of her vagina fisting him over and over.

She forced her eyes open though to watch him as he came, his head thrown back and the cords of his neck tight as he released inside her. She shuddered as he pulsed within her and she shifted so she could press the length of her naked body against his and feel his orgasm work its way through him before he went limp underneath her.

His arm came up lazily to wrap around her waist and he turned his head to kiss her forehead. Jyn just buried her face further in his neck and sighed contentedly. He was softening inside her and they’d have to deal with the mess soon, but right now she was too satisfied to move.

“Jyn?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“You’re fucking incredible.”

She laughed into his chest. “Fucking incredible or incredible at fucking?”

“Both,” he said serenely.

She let out a happy little sigh and then sat up, gently letting him slip out of her. She slid a hand underneath herself to catch the cum leaking out. It wasn’t the sexiest move she could make but she also didn’t want to make a bigger mess. Cassian rolled over and reached for the tissues by her bed wiping himself and handing her some.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” she said shifting back. She debated putting clothes on in case for some reason Leia came back, but in the end decided to risk it keeping the tissue against herself and darting across the living room to their shared bathroom. She cleaned up and came back to find Cassian in his boxers, holding his pants, and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So,” he said and then trailed off picking at the pants in his hands.

She felt herself go cold. They weren’t trapped in a hotel room together, of course he’d want to leave now. That’s how it worked, didn’t it? Friends with benefits meant you fucked and went about your business. It’s not like he’d ever stayed in her bed before they’d had sex. And why did she even care? She was usually the first to kick guys out. Their job was done and she didn’t even like cuddling. But she did care. Maybe she was still just a little sensitive over the fact that he could go back to ignoring her at any moment. “You want to leave,” she noted flatly, trying to keep her face neutral.

His head snapped up. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

“You don’t have to,” she said, looking at the wall and crossing her arms in front of her, trying to feel at least slightly less naked. “Do whatever you want.”

He stood and moved to her dropping the pants and turning her face gently to look at him. For once his face was open and warm. “Jyn, I’d really like to stay if you’ll have me. I know you don’t generally.”

She shrugged trying to look casual. “Yeah, well, as you’ve pointed out the men I sleep with are generally assholes. You can stay if you want. But you’ll have to sneak out ridiculously early so Leia doesn’t catch you over here.”

He leaned down and kissed her again and she was surprised that she could be this sexually satisfied and still immediately a little turned on again. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

He left the room and she debated what to do. Finally deciding she literally couldn’t make the situation anymore awkward, she snagged his discarded t-shirt off the floor and put it on before heading towards the bed. She realized in their haste they’d never even pulled back the covers. She smiled a little to herself and got under the blankets turning on the TV in her room and picking out something mindless.

Cassian came back in a few minutes later and blinked at her. “Where’d you get the shirt?”

“I found it,” she said cheekily. “Why? You want it back?”

He grinned and shook his head. “No need.” He made his way over to the bed and she tried to remain relaxed when he hesitated for a moment before climbing in next to her. He was careful not to touch her and sat a little stiffly at her side. “What’s on?”

“Some silly scifi show,” she said. “Unless you want something specific or just want to go to sleep?”

“This is fine,” he said. And they lapsed into awkward silence again for a few moments. “Is there only one woman on this show?”

“It’s from the 90’s,” Jyn said with a shrug. “There are some sexy female aliens occasionally but mainly it’s just her and the one female doctor. At least both of the two lead ladies are smart and actually save the day sometimes.”

“And the dude with the thing on his head?”

“Low maintenance alien, it’s not exactly a high-budget show.”

“You like this?”

“They make up for crap effects with deeper plotlines than you’d suspect,” she said with a yawn. She snuggled down into the bed a little more and it moved her into Cassian’s side. She stilled for a moment, but he took the opportunity to shift himself and hesitantly draped an arm over her waist. She figured if he was trying then she should too and pressed further back into him. He tightened his arm and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

“I’m not sure the science behind this show is sound.”

“That’s why they tag the ‘fiction’ on the end of the ‘science,’ Cassian.” He tugged her a little closer and she wiggled until they fit together perfectly. “Just shut up and watch the show.” She could already feel herself getting sleepy and Cassian radiating heat at her back didn’t help.

“I set my alarm for four am,” he said softly. “I’ll be able to get back without Leia or Han knowing the difference.”

“Mmm, ok,” she said, and it must have been the leftover bliss of the multiple orgasms and warm bed that had her adding. “I’m glad you stayed.” It wasn’t long before she fell asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy smutty Monday, ya'll!


	5. The One With The Blind Date

“Alright, jigs up!”

Jyn jumped a foot in the air. “Jesus, Leia. You scared the shit out of me.” She’d really hoped her roommate would be asleep by now, and she suspected Leia had left most of the lights off specifically in order to catch her out.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jyn opened her mouth to lie. Han was out of town on some shady business deal he hadn’t fully disclosed, and Jyn and Cassian had taken full advantage of that. They’d spent the weekend in his apartment fucking, ordering food, and watching movies. Apparently two weeks of having sex whenever they could manage it hadn’t done much to slacken their lust. She was only slinking home now at midnight on Sunday because Han was supposed to be back early in the morning. “And don’t you dare lie to me. I’ve already texted the gym and Baze and Chirrut said you weren’t there, and Bodhi said he’s barely seen you since he and Luke got back from their honeymoon, which would make two of us.”

Jyn shrugged. “I’ve taken up a hobby.”

Leia gave her a disbelieving look. “Oh yeah? One that keeps you out to all hours?”

“I’m training for a marathon,” Jyn attempted. “Lot of running.”

Leia rolled her eyes. “What’s his name?” Jyn sputtered. “Oh come on, when I do see you you’re always in an amazing mood and are practically humming. Those aren’t running endorphins. Someone is getting laid. Now fess up. Who is he?”

Leia stared at her hard and she crumbled. Leia would see through the lie anyway. “It’s not a big deal. We’re just having some fun.”

Leia lifted an eyebrow. “How much fun?”

Jyn gave a small laugh. “A lot of fun.” She headed towards the fridge and grabbed a snack before plopping down at the table next to Leia. “The sex is-” she trailed off. She honestly didn’t have a good enough word to describe the sex.

Leia whistled. “That good, huh?”

“Out of this galaxy good,” Jyn admitted. “Best I’ve ever had at least.”

“Well, when do we get to meet him?”

“I don’t know,” Jyn said shifting uncomfortably. “It’s new, it’ll probably fall apart in a couple weeks like it always does. I don’t want to jinx it.”

Leia gave her a soft look that only close friends and family ever really achieved from her. “You don’t have to tell me who. I’m just glad you’re happy. You’ve never been gone all weekend before. Usually get sick of them before the night is out.”

“Yeah. He’s, well I don’t know, but he’s, it’s good.” She shook her head. “It’s never been like this.”

“You’re actually getting off?” Leia asked with a laugh.

“Multiple times, more often than not.”

“Shit, marry him, Erso.”

Jyn laughed. “It’s not that serious.”

“Whatever you say, but I haven’t seen you this stupid happy in a long time. Maybe it should be something serious.”

Jyn shrugged that off. She couldn’t risk thinking of Cassian that way. If she did, she knew she’d start thinking idiotic things very quickly. If she had told her childhood self that she’d one day be worried about falling hard for Cassian Andor she would have thought she was crazy. Jyn suddenly thought of something else and looked up at her friend in horror. “You didn’t tell Bodhi, did you?”

“No,” Leia said shaking her head. “I know how protective he can get of you. If I’d said anything he’d already be over here demanding answers. I simply asked if you were with him and Luke.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said sincerely.

“So you better not be ditching us Wednesday.”

Jyn frowned. “Wednesday?”

"Han’s birthday. We’re throwing a surprise party for him at his bar. Remember?”

“Oh, right. Yeah, of course I’ll be there.”

“Your new boy toy won’t keep you away?”

“No,” Jyn said honestly. After all, Cassian was expected to attend the same party so it wasn’t like she had a conflict.

“I admire the fact that you’re choosing friends over multiple orgasms.”

“Who said you have to choose?” Jyn joked getting up and heading to her room. “I can always meet him after!”

“Slut!” Leia cheered good-naturedly. “Sleep well, I’m sure you haven’t been recently.”

Jyn stuck her tongue out at her and started getting ready for bed.   To be honest she’d been sleeping pretty well. Other than occasionally being woken up to Cassian going down on her, which she was never going to complain about, it felt comfortable sleeping next to him. He never demanded anything of her she couldn’t give, and it never felt like he was intruding when he was in her space. She liked the way he watched stupid television with her because it made her happy and his dry observations made her laugh. She liked when he dropped kisses on her shoulders and neck almost absentmindedly and the way he reached for her in his sleep if she got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and came back to bed. She knew she was dancing on dangerously thin ice, and needed to rein herself back in, but it was hard when he seemed so unconflicted about it. Other than the two weeks when they returned from the wedding, he’d never balked, just let her take up as much of his time and his body as she wanted. It was unfair. She knew how Cassian was. He’d always give more than he asked for in return, had some deep rooted issues with not deserving much, but she couldn’t seem to stop taking. Still, the guilt didn’t outweigh the passion right now.

Jyn went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, ignoring Leia’s smiling looks before heading off to her own bed. She lay in it cold and slightly lonely, which she absolutely refused to analyze further. She’d always preferred to sleep alone prior to whatever this was. Still, she wondered if Cassian was laying awake in his own bed across the hall thinking of her.

* * *

She was torturing him. He was sure of it. He couldn’t remember the last time Jyn had worn a skirt or a dress outside a formal occasion. And yet, here she was flaunting around the Millennium Falcon in a short little skirt that was begging to be hitched up around her hips. He shook his head and tried to focus on something else. He’d never hear the end of it if he randomly popped a boner at Han’s birthday party.

“You are distracted.”

“I’m fine, Kay.”

“You are thinking of the woman you have been fornicating with.”

“Kay,” he sighed. His friend had good intentions, but not the best execution.

“It is pointless to lie to me. You show all signs of being in the throes of a new romantic entanglement. You are always distracted and strangely peaceful at the start of a relationship. You thrive on taking care of others though you pretend not to.”

“Kay, it’s no big deal.” It was a big deal, but he wasn’t allowed to admit that. Jyn had laid out what she wanted. He wasn’t allowed to change the rules just because his feelings were growing stronger every day. He hated that she was on the other side of the room. He wanted to go over to where she was laughing with Bodhi and wrap his arms around her waist and press a kiss to her ear. Still, he’d take what he could get. She kept coming back to him, so he supposed that would have to be enough for now.

“I do not understand why you will not introduce us to this woman. You’ve never shown reluctance in the past. The only answers I can come to is that you do not think we would approve. Though why we would not approve I can not theorize.”

“Kay,” he said, giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder. “Let it go. It’s just sex.” Then he walked away on the pretense of getting another beer. Really he slowly weaved his way to where Jyn, Leia, Han, Bodhi and Luke were speaking in a corner. Bodhi was telling some story from their honeymoon and grinned at Cassian as he joined the group. Jyn moved over when she noticed him to let him into the little circle and he wanted to reach out and grab her hand or throw an arm around her shoulders like Han had to Leia.

He told himself it was fine, and that Han would definitely be getting lucky on his birthday so he’d be able to sneak over to Jyn’s tonight, but he couldn’t help wanting more. The past weekend had been perfect. They were good together in and out of bed, which he supposed he should have seen coming since they’d been friends before the sex anyway. Of course they were good together out of bed. Still he hadn’t expected it to be this easy. Most of the time with a new relationship it was a game of putting your best face forward and constantly trying to cover up flaws. It was nice not having to do that. She already knew his hang-ups. Not that that stopped her from taunting him by making a mess wherever she went just to laugh as he followed behind her cleaning up, or by sometimes starting in on political topics purely to get him riled up for fun. He’d be halfway through a rant on why she should care about the ecological repercussions of a law when he’d realize she was watching him with a spark of laughter in her eyes and he’d roll his own and then kiss her. And if he liked her despite the fact that she watched too much crap television and couldn’t even make toast without burning down the apartment, well that was to be expected. After all, they were friends.

“So tell us who you’re fucking,” Han demanded, and Cassian snapped back to attention. He was relieved when he realized no one was staring at him, but then the dread rose up as he realized all eyes were on Jyn and she looked pissed. Leia smacked Han upside the back of his head.

“You said you didn’t tell.”

“I didn’t!” Leia said. “I may have theorized with Han before I’d confirmed with you. It’s not my fault he’s a tactless idiot.”

Bodhi groaned. “What lug-head is it this time?”

“It’s no big deal,” Jyn said, fidgeting.

“Well of course it’s not a big deal,” Han observed. “It’s never a big deal with you. But the stories are always interesting.”

“I wouldn’t call the ‘best you’ve ever had’ nothing,” Leia said and then looked mortified at the slip.

Jyn froze next to him and Cassian tried not to react. But had she really said that? Leia wouldn’t say something like that if she hadn’t, right? He knew she was enjoying herself with him, and information she had shared didn’t lead him to think past experiences were that amazing, but the best she’d ever had? He wanted to scoop her up and kiss her, tell her that he felt the same way. Instead he stood as still as he could fighting to keep any expression off his face. She wouldn’t appreciate him outing them to all their friends.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like he has a lot of competition,” Jyn finally settled on rolling one shoulder to shrug their inquiries off. “And I don’t need any crap from any of you, so don’t think I’m bringing him around anytime soon.”

“Bringing who around?” Lando asked joining the conversation.

“The dude she’s boning,” Han answered.

“Oh come on, I love meeting the guys you’re sleeping with,” Lando said with a laugh. “They’re always so easy to hate.”

“Surprised I haven’t slept with you then,” Jyn shot back.

“Hey, anytime,” the man returned with a leer. Cassian tried to squash the image of Jyn and Lando hooking up and ignore the jealous anger that instantly accompanied it.

“Guys, leave off,” Cassian said casually. “She doesn’t have to bring him around if she doesn’t want to.” And he couldn’t help himself because apparently Jyn made him a stupid teenager all over again and he moronically wanted to stake some sort of claim. “Even if he’s the best she’s ever had.”

She shot him a glare that he was sure would have been accompanied by an elbow abusing his ribs if she hadn’t cared about drawing more attention to them. “It’s just a fling,” she said firmly, and well, that effectively killed any stupid happiness he may have had bubbling up. “There’s no point in you all meeting him. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Jyn, why don’t you let us set you up with someone?” Bodhi pleaded. It was not the first time her brother had made the offer. “Luke works with some really great guys. I think you might like-”

“Bo, we’ve been over this before,” Jyn sighed. “Absolutely not. I do not need to date anyone I may have to see again if things don’t work out. Just don’t do it.”

And Cassian had heard that rationale before, had even supported it, but now. Now it made his stomach churn. What were they even doing?

“But I just think if you gave someone a chance,” Bodhi started again.

“Leave her alone,” Cassian interrupted, really not wanting to hear more. “You know it’s not going to work.”

“Well, what about you?” Leia asked clearly trying to turn the conversation and save herself from an ass kicking by Jyn later tonight.

“What about me?”

“You haven’t gone out with anyone in forever, Cassian. At least not anyone serious since Nioma, and that was like two years ago.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve even hooked up with anyone recently,” Han chimed in following his girlfriend’s lead. Sometimes Cassian really hated his roommate. He could only be grateful that Kay looked to be deep in an argument with Leia’s friend Cee across the room and couldn’t narc on him.

“Yeah, well,” Cassian said with a shrug. Brilliant defense.

“I know Nioma was supposedly the ‘love of your life,’ but you’ve got to move on eventually. You two didn’t want the same things. Oh!” Leia said clapping her hands together and Cassian tensed. He was not going to like whatever was coming. “You’d be perfect for my friend Amilyn. I think you may have actually met her once at a campaign rally.”

“Leia, I really don’t need to be set up.” He tried to keep his eyes forward and not watch Jyn, but a quick glance told him she was unperturbedly drinking her beer.

“You need to get back out there,” Leia argued. “A relationship would be good for you. You’ve been working too hard anyway, what with that side project you picked up you’ve been so secretive about. You better not be planning to run against my father.” She glared at him and then smiled. “Mainly because you’d lose.”

“It’s nothing like that,” he said with a shrug. He may have lied to Leia a couple times about a side project when he’d wanted to leave the office earlier than 8 PM to meet up with Jyn. Usually both he and Leia were workaholics, but he may have been a little distracted recently.

“Come on, Cassian, I can text her right now.”

“You should, man,” Lando said nudging him. “I’ve seen her, she’s hot.”

Luke laughed and said sarcastically, “And your personalities would probably mesh well too, not that that matters.”

“Do it,” Bodhi encouraged. “I’m a little sad I don’t have a wedding to plan anymore. I could help with yours!”

“Guys, I really don’t think-” he started.

“You should go,” Jyn said and it felt like he swallowed a stone. “Sounds like everyone thinks she’d be perfect for you.”

“You don’t have to go, but I do?” he asked trying not to display his dismay.

“Yeah, well you date,” Jyn scoffed, “And we all know all I do is bang and get dumped.”

Lando and Han cackled. “Like you’re not usually the dumper,” Han argued.

“I don’t know,” Cassian said.

“Come on, please,” Leia asked waving her phone at him with the chat window open. “You’d be so perfect together.”

“You can’t turn down perfection,” Jyn said evenly. And fine, if she was going to be that way, what did he care? He hadn’t expected her to get overly worked up or fly into a jealous fit, but she didn’t have to encourage it either. She could have just stayed silent and let him talk his way out of it. But she didn’t. She told him to go. So fine.

“Alright,” he said to Leia, but looking at Jyn. She didn’t even flinch. “Set it up.”

“Great! I’m texting her now.”

“And another one bites the dust,” Lando crooned. “Looks like that just leaves you and me, Jyn.”

“I would rather date Kay,” Jyn scoffed. “Does anyone need another drink?”

“She’s in,” Leia said gleefully. “I’m going to text you both so you have each other’s numbers, and you can go from there.”

“I’m getting another drink,” Jyn announced and turned on her heel and walked away just as Cassian’s phone vibrated with the incoming text. And really what did he have to lose? Friends with benefits didn’t mean you couldn’t date other people. Jyn clearly didn’t care.

“You better not leave her hanging, Andor,” Leia said with a stern little glare. “You two are going to get along so well!”

* * *

She was mad. She was big enough to admit that. It was Friday night and Leia and Han were gone having dinner with Leia’s parents and they were going to stay there till tomorrow. Therefore Cassian should be over at her apartment preparing for a long night of sex. He should not be in his own apartment preparing for a date with some other ‘perfect woman.’ Not that she had any right to complain. What they were doing was just sex. Of course he’d eventually want to date. Cassian was a relationship guy, and they both knew it. She’d just figured he’d wait a little bit longer to get back in the game.

Jyn flipped through her shows trying to distract herself, but eventually gave up and threw the remote in frustration getting up and pacing the apartment. She did not want this to end so abruptly. But what if he went out and met Amilyn and they fell madly in love? She’d met Amilyn once before and there was no denying the woman was beautiful, probably mature and caring and looking for ‘the one’ to settle down with. Her and Cassian would make beautiful babies and could go on lovely quadruple dates with Han and Leia, Bodhi and Luke, and Shara and Kes. Jyn would be fine, she’d just pick up more hours at the gym. As it was she’d been moving hours and classes to accommodate Cassian’s schedule better and she was sure Baze and Chirrut were suspicious that something was up with her. Life would just go back to normal.

She couldn’t believe he was actually going on this stupid date. Maybe he’d just felt pressured. Leia could be easier to agree with than fight with. And, yeah, she’d told him to go, but she hadn’t truly meant it, and he should have known that. They had to play it cool in public, and besides she’d been pissed at the time about everyone up in her business acting like she couldn’t get someone Cassian-quality if she tried and then them immediately finding someone better for Cassian. It’s not like she didn’t already know he belonged with someone else, she just wasn’t quite ready to let him go. Their stupid fucking friends could have given her a few more weeks at least. Now he’d go out and come home and even if they weren’t immediately serious Cassian wasn’t the type of guy to sleep with multiple women at once. If he set up a second date, they were over. And how could he not? Everyone agreed Amilyn was perfect for him. She wouldn’t stand a chance.

Maybe if she offered him something better to do tonight he’d stay. Maybe they could avoid the whole thing? Yeah, surely that was it. If she could talk him into the date, she could certainly talk him out of it. Jyn raced towards her room to put on better lingerie, which may or may not have been purchased in the last few weeks in Cassian’s favorite color, some short shorts and a tank top to cross the hall.

Jyn didn’t even bother knocking, just barged into Cassian’s apartment determined to seduce him out of this stupid date. But he was coming out of his room when she entered and her mouth went dry. He looked good. Dressed for the date and cleaned up like she hadn’t seen since the wedding. The two of them tended to attack each other in their normal sleep clothes, although she did try to pick the ones without holes, so it was rare to see each other in anything special.

“Jyn? Did you need something?”

She licked her lips and tried to focus. “Well obviously. Han and Leia are going to be gone till tomorrow night, so – your place or mine?”

Cassian frowned. “Did you forget I have a date tonight?”

“Right, that,” she said dismissively waving a hand in the air and trying to look casual. “Just cancel. Happens all the time.”  

The furrow between his brow deepened and Jyn tried not to wince under his scrutiny. “I’m supposed to meet her in like 15 minutes. I can’t cancel this late.”

“Sure you can,” she wheedled. “Just text her and say something came up.” She reached for his waistband and grinned. “I can make something come up so it’s not even really a lie.”

His hands grabbed hers and pulled her off him. “Jyn, stop fucking around.”

She recoiled at that even though there was no reason to. Of course, he didn’t care what she wanted. They were a convenience. He had the chance for something real, why would he waste it spending the night with her? “Right, sorry. Well, enjoy your date then.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond, just spun on her heel and bolted out of the apartment.

Fuck Cassian Andor. Everyone was right. They’d make a terrible couple. Let him go out and find his perfect mate. Amilyn and Cassian would probably have a perfect little wedding and make perfect little babies. And she didn’t care at all. She’d show up to that wedding and get hammered and fuck his groomsmen. That was as long as he had a groomsman that wasn’t her brother, Han, or Kay, which was unlikely.

She ignored the burn in her eyes as she ripped her clothes off and changed back into comfortable shorts and a sweatshirt. She’d watch some stupid show and go to bed. Tomorrow Cassian would end whatever this had been, and they’d go back to being just friends. That was the deal after all. Easy out clause. Her stomach twisted as she settled on the couch. It’d all be fine. It’s not like she had feelings for him beyond friendship. It was just good sex.

* * *

“So any hobbies?” the woman across from him asked and Cassian tried to restrain a sigh. He reminded himself that nothing about this situation was Amilyn’s fault.

“I read quite a bit,” he said lamely. Fuck, he hated small talk. He always forgot how awkward first dates were until he attempted it again. It sucked having no clue if you were going to click or not, and trying to judge that based on superficial information while you both tried to cover up any of your more egregious flaws. “And you?” Again, it wasn’t her fault that he wasn’t on his game. Wasn’t her fault that all he could think about was the hurt look on Jyn’s face and then immediately feel a flare of resentment over how she was the one who’d pushed him into this date in the first place, and it wasn’t fair she make him feel guilty now. Wasn’t Amilyn’s fault that being with Jyn was so much easier, they’d known each other for years, no small talk required. They genuinely liked each other despite their imperfections and had then thrown fantastic mind-blowing sex into the equation because they were both clearly idiots.

“I’m an equestrian,” Amilyn said with a soft smile. “I love riding horses. I’ve ridden English since I was thirteen years old.”

He tried to care. He really did, but what he really wanted to do was storm home and get in a fight with Jyn, yell at her for putting him in this situation. “That’s nice. I’ve never ridden a horse.”

“Never? We’ll have to fix that.”

And he knew it was an opening, a suggestion of a future together. A future he was in no way interested in. “Yeah, maybe.”

Amilyn frowned and he chastised himself internally again. Jyn Erso was the bane of his existence. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” he reassured. “Sorry, just have a lot on my mind tonight.”

Amilyn stared at him hard for a moment and he almost fidgeted under her gaze. It was rare that he was subject to the kind of intense scrutinization he often focused on others. “A lot on your mind, or someone specific on your mind?”

Cassian didn’t flinch, but he wanted to. “I’m sorry. It’s complicated.”

A small grin slipped across her features and she pressed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Look, I don’t need to be here. Leia just really thought we’d get along, but I am capable of getting my own dates. I really don’t want to play games with a guy whose head and heart are elsewhere. I’m sure you’re perfectly nice, but I don’t see any reason to waste either of our time.”

"I didn’t think it would matter,” he offered up in a rare fit of honesty and openness. “It wasn’t supposed to be serious.” He figured she deserved that much for the shitty date this had been for the twenty minutes they’d been on it.

She patted his knee and finished her drink. “Do yourself a favor and do something about it,” she suggested. “I’ll tell Leia it wasn’t a good fit.” She stood up and reached for her wallet in her purse.

“No,” he said touching her wrist lightly. “The least I can do is pay. I’m sorry you got dressed up for me to suck so much.”

“Hardly,” she offered with a smile. “I fully plan on meeting friends and finding someone more available tonight. Can’t waste good hair on a terrible date.”

Laughter bubbled up in him and he nodded. “I wish you the best of luck.”

It took another twenty minutes to make it back to their apartment building, and by the time he got to the front door he was practically fuming. How dare Jyn set all the rules and then refuse to follow them? All he’d ever done is what she’d asked, and here he was feeling like shit because she’d told him to go on that stupid date and then fled from him with that crushed expression.

He took the stairs two at a time and knocked once before throwing the door open. He’d told her and Leia a million times to lock it, but they never seemed to unless they’d watched a horror movie. “Jyn.”

She turned her head from whatever ridiculous show she’d been watching to face him. Sporting holey pajamas, hair tied up in a messy bun, and a blotchy face from where she’d clearly been crying earlier, she instantly broke whatever rage had been humming through his veins.

A hand came up to scrub at her cheek and she growled out, “What are you doing here?”

And the rage came smashing back. “You _told_ me to go on that date. What right do you have to be so pissed when I actually did?”

Jyn burst up from the couch in a flurry. “I was playing along to not blow our cover. I didn’t think you would actually go!”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that’s what you wanted? You said we were just fucking. You were the one that always made it clear that it wasn’t exclusive, that we owed each other nothing.”

“I _know_ ,” she said and stomped her foot, and it was adorable but he still had enough sense not to say it. “I didn’t think I’d care, but I do. And I know she’s probably better for you than me. And I know it’d sure as shit be easier for you to date her than continue this, and you deserve better, but I’m still pissed. I don’t want you to date anyone else when you’re sleeping with me. I fucking hate thinking of you touching her, of her touching you. Did you kiss her?”

“Jyn, I barely talked to her I was so distracted thinking about you,” he confessed. “Of course I didn’t kiss her.”

Then before he could blink she was on him pressing her lips to his and tugging at his neck to get him closer. “You better not have,” she hissed between kisses.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back from him. “Jyn, you can make fun of me all you want, but I need to hear it from you. What do you want from me?”

She bit her lip and backed off a bit, although she left her arms around his neck. Her lip trembled and she looked flustered and terrified. He resisted the urge to pull her closer and comfort her, and tell her that he was sorry and she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do or say. He needed at least one answer though. “I don’t know,” she admitted finally. “But I know I don’t want you dating other people. I don’t want you fucking them or thinking about them, not when all I want and all I can think about is you. I know this complicates things.” She sighed and stepped back rubbing at her face in frustration. “I know we’re just supposed to be fuck buddies. I know I’m not allowed to want more.”

He laughed and her head jerked up. She hated being laughed at, but he wasn’t laughing at her he was laughing at the absurdity of her logic. “You’re the one that set that rule, Jyn, which means you’re more than able to change it.”

“You’d want to?” she asked nervously, and he couldn’t believe she didn’t know how he was feeling about her, couldn’t believe she looked ready for rejection.

“You think I want you dating other people?” he asked, reaching for her hand. “I’m playing by your rules, but _fuck_. We’re good together, and I don’t just mean the sex even though you’re also the best I’ve ever had. We know each other, like each other. It’s easy and better than I ever thought it could be.”

She pulled her hand back reluctantly. “It might not always be easy.” Jyn glanced down tugging at her shirt. “I’m not easy,” she confessed.

“Jyn,” he said softly, tilting her face up to his. “You don’t scare me. We’ve stayed friends through some of your and my worst moments. We know how to forgive each other. We know who each other is. Jyn, you’re smart and strong and beautiful and I respect the hell out of you, even when you’re stupid, stubborn, and defensive. I also just happen to enjoy making you come. What’s more perfect than that?”

Jyn shook her head and he slipped his hands down her arms tentatively tugging her closer. She buried her face in his chest and he felt her shudder under his hands. “I don’t think you understand.”

He did. He knew her. Better than any random man she hooked up with possibly could. He knew her fears around loss, the way she blamed herself when people left her, the way she chose bad matches to protect herself from exactly that. She was an enigma to most men who interacted with her, but he knew exactly what lay underneath, had had years to learn it and experienced a lot of it at her side. “You’re scared it won’t work out. That it’ll ruin our friendship and all the friendships around us. That I’ll see something in you that I haven’t seen before and turn away from you. Querida,” and he waited for the punch that never came at the endearment so he continued, “I _know_ you. And I’m not going anywhere for as long as you want me. I’m here for you, all the way.”

She gave a small little whimper and pulled him closer. “Our friends will give us hell. They’ll mess everything up.”

“Then we still don’t tell them,” he answered simply kissing her temple. “It isn’t any of their business until we decide it is. The point is, whatever this is, it’s ours and it’s real.”

“I want that,” she said timidly, which was a tone he so rarely heard from her.

“I do too,” he comforted. He tilted her head up again and was surprised to find her eyes watery. Jyn so rarely cried, at least not where anyone could see her. He wiped the moisture away with his thumb. She gave him a weak little smile.

 “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He leaned down and kissed her and she melted into him. Oh, he had it so bad. But she wanted him too. They’d figure it out. They’d figure it out together.

“Come to bed?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, let me go change.”

She shook her head and curled her hands into his shirt. “Just come to bed.”

He nodded and followed her back to her room. She crawled under the covers and he stripped down to his boxers before getting into the bed. Instantly she rolled over and pressed into him, burying her face in his throat, wrapping an arm around his waist and tucking her leg in between his. He pulled her in tighter and breathed her in.  

“Jyn?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me? Just dinner somewhere?”

He felt her smile against his neck. “I’d like that.”

“Good, me too. Tomorrow then. I’ll take you somewhere nice.”

“Not too nice though,” she said and he laughed.

“How about that fancy pizza place you’ve been wanting to try?”

“Sounds perfect.”

And how could it not be if he was with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to go into work early tomorrow and I always make myself late editing in the morning, so you guys are getting it early tonight! They're finally getting somewhere at least :) Gotta be honest this was one of my favorite chapters to write.


	6. The One With The Bosses

“Pathetic,” Jyn taunted as she pinned Cassian again. “You aren’t even trying.”

“I’m trying,” he grunted from underneath her.

“Then you need to come more often because you’re out of practice,” she advised.

“I might be able to be convinced.” He grinned up at her, sweaty hair falling into his eyes, and she wanted to kiss him.

“You keep leaving your left side vulnerable,” Baze’s voice startled her back and upright.

“Telling him is cheating,” Jyn groused.

“Or teaching,” Baze said dryly. “Which is what I thought you were supposed to be doing.”

“He’s learning from doing,” Jyn argued with a shrug.

“As long as he keeps paying,” Baze shrugged.

“Am I paying?”

“Jyn, really?” Baze groused.

She shrugged again. “He’s still paying for membership.”

Baze shook his head, but another voice cut in. “Leave them alone. They’re young and in love.” Baze’s eyebrow shot up, and Jyn tried to suppress her startled reaction.

“Since when?” Baze demanded.

“Clearly for at least a little while now,” Chirrut said casually joining his partner at the entryway to the training room. “Their auras are intertwined. We should count ourselves lucky they’re still clothed.”

Cassian sputtered underneath her, clearly trying to think up some clever deflection and she rolled her eyes. There was no point with these two.

Baze held up a hand. “I don’t want to know. The ‘absolutely no sex anywhere in the gym’ rule applies to employees too, Jyn.”

“You’re both dirty old men,” she shot back, pressing back on her heels to get up and off of Cassian. “We were just sparring.”

“Of course,” Chirrut agreed happily. “Silly of us to think otherwise.”

“This does explain the overall good mood,” Baze noted. “I assume we don’t need to have the clichéd ‘you hurt her I’d hurt you, but she’ll probably hurt you first before I can’ conversation?”

Cassian scrambled to his feet, and Jyn could see the lie forming on his lips. Something that would probably cover for them with normal people, but would be next to useless on Chirrut. “I could kick Cassian’s ass any day,” Jyn said confidently.

“Good enough,” Baze grumbled walking away.

“You’ll both come around to dinner on Friday?” Chirrut asked happily. “We’ll make something nice and you can tell us how you got together.”

“Chirrut,” Jyn sighed.

“Neither of you are vegetarians, right?” Chirrut continued on blithely.

“We never agreed,” Jyn started.

“You’re free,” Chirrut said. “I know your schedule. And Cassian should still be trying to impress those close to you so he’ll make time. Friday it is. We’ll see you both at 7.” He started to move away, but stopped to add, “Oh, and Baze is correct about the rules. No sex anywhere in the gym.”

Jyn grabbed her water bottle and chucked it towards the door, but Chirrut had already bolted away.

“How did they?” Cassian asked looked utterly bewildered.

Jyn shrugged. “You get used to it. Can you actually go to dinner on Friday? You don’t have to.” Even though they were technically dating, Cassian certainly hadn’t signed up for family meals. He didn’t have to change his plans for her.

“I mean I figured we’d be doing something together anyway, so I’m free,” Cassian said, grabbing a towel. “I don’t mind going if you want me there. But I thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”

Jyn collected her water bottle and glanced back at him discreetly. He didn’t seem uncomfortable with the idea, although Cassian had a gift for looking comfortable in all sorts of uncomfortable situations. “Hiding things from the two of them is a lost cause, but they won’t gossip about it. And Baze is a good cook, which doesn’t suck.” Cassian laughed. “What?”

“I just remembered this feral cat that used to come around my abuela’s house,” Cassian said with a shrug. “It wouldn’t let anyone near it, hissed and swiped at you if you tried, but if you brought it some food it was your best friend for as long as it took to eat it.”

Jyn glared at him. “Are you comparing me to a feral cat?”

Cassian gave her an easy lopsided grin. “Of course not, it was just a random memory I had that made me laugh.” She threw her water bottle at him and he caught it. “Friday dinner it is then.”

Jyn grunted her disbelief at him and reached for her water bottle. She crossed her arms and glared when he immediately reacted by lifting it high into the air above his head. “Really?”

“You threw it at me,” Cassian said with a one-shoulder shrug. “Possession is 9/10ths of the law.”

“Cassian.”

“Yes, Jyn?”

“Idiot,” she huffed turning to stride past him. He started to lower his arm and she lunged. Cassian laughed and pulled the bottle up again stumbling back as her weight hit him. His free arm came around her waist and stopped her from straight up crawling up his body to retrieve it. “Gimme.”

“Give me one good reason why,” he argued smiling.

“You’re being a child.”

“I wasn’t the one who kept using it as a projectile.”

“It’s pink, you can’t even use it.” And it was a ridiculous shade of hot pink too. Shara had thought it was funny and gotten it for her for a birthday along with a hot pink athletic outfit after Jyn had bought Shara a ridiculous assortment of vibrators for her birthday the year before while Kes was deployed. Jyn had taken great pleasure in showing up to work decked out in pink when she knew Shara would be there though, just to see the jaws drop. She’d proceeded to wipe the floor with her boxing class so no one had ever really managed to give her crap about it.

“Now who’s reinforcing shitty gender norms?” Cassian asked schooling his face into some semblance of seriousness. “You going to dump me if I carry around a pink water bottle?”

“Yes,” she hissed. “If it’s mine! Get your own.”

“I like this one.”

“Cassian,” she whined and started half-heartedly struggling in his arm to wiggle up his body. He tightened his hold and even sweaty and gross she enjoyed being this close to him, not that she was going to say that. Bastard was still a thief. And in the past she would have had no real recourse other than to wait till he was feeling less playful and got tired of teasing and gave it back on his own. But they weren’t just friends anymore. “Let’s make a trade.”

His eyebrow shot up, but the pleased grin that accompanied it said everything was going to plan. “What were you thinking?”

“My water bottle for a kiss.”

Cassian sighed glancing up at the bottle in his hand. “I really like the bottle though.”

Jyn pinched his side and he gave a quiet grunt. “You like a stupid water bottle more than kissing me?”

“You only offered a kiss. One,” he said. “And that certainly isn’t enough.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. Had Cassian always been this cheesy in a relationship? She didn’t really know. Cassian and his past girlfriends had never made themselves the center of attention, and it’s not like he would pull this kind of stunt with her in front of their friends even if their friends knew. It was all so stupid, but it made her warm inside to know Cassian was letting her see his soft underbelly. She wasn’t about to take that for granted when she knew how hard it was to let someone in. “Fine, a make out session in exchange for the water bottle.”

“Done,” he said happily pushing the water bottle into her hands. She tossed it away to the mat behind them. “Hey, what gives?” Then she grabbed his neck and tugged him down closer. He laughed into her lips. “I didn’t mean right now.”

She pulled back a centimeter. “Now or never.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Cassian.”

“Now will do.” He followed her tugging hands and kissed her moving them both backwards so he could lean against the wall and get a little lower, which had the added benefit of Jyn getting to press more fully up against him. She should make deals like this more often. His hands moved up her sides snaking under her sweaty tank and touching her skin directly, and she straddled one of his legs to get closer.

A bang on the door to the training room had them leaping apart. Jyn glanced over to see Chirrut smiling serenely with his walking stick. “No sex anywhere in the gym,” he singsonged and then walked away.

“I don’t think he’s blind,” Cassian complained and Jyn laughed.

“Told you it was pointless to try to hide anything from them. Come on, let’s go get showered and find dinner. I’m starving.”

* * *

Cassian sighed and rolled his neck. He’d only meant to pop by the office for an hour or two and then spend the rest of his Sunday watching stupid shows curled up with Jyn, regardless of who was around. Leia had lifted an eyebrow at his sudden interest in the crap Jyn watched, but otherwise hadn’t seemed to think anything of it, so it was easy to camp out in their living room and be together without tipping everyone off. The reports he’d wanted to get through had proved longer and more tedious than he’d expected though, and he was struggling to write up his analysis. The problem was that he was already behind since he kept sneaking out of work early during the week, or rather he wasn’t staying late every night now that he had something better to do.

His phone buzzed again and Cassian sighed. He was sure it was Jyn asking once more when he was leaving the office. He picked up the phone and nearly dropped it when he discovered it was a rather risqué photo of Jyn fresh out of the shower and a text telling him Leia had already headed over to Han’s for the evening. Cassian cursed under his breath. He really needed to get this done or Draven was going to rip him a new one on Monday. He shot off a text trying to buy himself another hour or two and tried to refocus on his computer screen telling himself his reward for finishing was getting to leave.

He managed an hour before his phone buzzed again. Cassian sighed. If it was another racy picture he was definitely going to break. He really should be more concerned about how easily Jyn made him lose his mildly legendary self-control. He honestly hadn’t been this stupid or distractible even in his first high school relationship. He could admit he was a little disappointed when it turned out to just be a text from Kay setting plans to go to a documentary they’d both been wanting to see.

Cassian turned back to his computer and startled when he heard the office door open from down the hall. Great, this would take even longer if one of his coworkers had decided to come in too. He really didn’t want to make small talk and shoot the shit about how much it sucked to work on the weekend. He just wanted to get this done and go home. Just please god, don’t let it be Cee.

“This is why having a real job is stupid,” a pissy voice rang out as she rounded the corner to his cube. “Do you even make overtime?”

“Jyn? What are you doing here? And how did you get in?” The building had a security code at street level and the offices themselves needed a key card to get in.

“I’ve known the code for ages,” Jyn shrugged. “Every idiot entering the building puts it in so obviously it’s hard not to see, and I may have borrowed Leia’s key card out of her purse.”

“Jyn.”

“What? It’s not like she was going to use it tonight,” Jyn dropped a brown paper bag on his desk. “And if I’d asked you to let me in it would have ruined the surprise.”

“What is it?”

“Dinner, obviously, since you’re never coming home.” Cassian blinked at her in surprise. “What?”

“Did you make it?”

Jyn snorted. “Yeah right. I was trying to do something nice, not kill us both. It’s your usual from the Thai place you like.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Jyn shrugged. “I was bored. Isn’t that what good girlfriends do?”

He grinned up at her as she toyed with a paperclip on his desk. “It’s very supportive.”

She flicked the paperclip at him. “I guess I’ll go home then.”

He reached out and grabbed her wrist as she turned to go pulling her back towards them. “Stay for a little. Did you get yourself something?”

Jyn shook her head. “Leia cooked before going over to Han’s so I ate with her. Are you really going to stay here all night?”

“Just another hour or two,” he said softly. “I hadn’t realized how far behind I was.”

“They’re giving you too much work,” Jyn said, glancing around his desk.

It was Cassian’s turn to shrug. This was just what the job was. It was long hours and low pay unless you were in it for the wrong reasons. At least at the end of the day he usually felt like he’d at least tried to make the world a little better with his work. “I’m usually faster at it. I’ve been distracted.”

“By what? There’s no one else here.”

She really was dense sometimes. “You, you idiot.”

“I sent one picture!” she argued.

“I didn’t mean today,” he laughed. “I meant in general.”

“Oh,” she said looking like she wasn’t sure if she should uncross her arms and unpucker her face or not. “I’m not going to apologize.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” he said easily. And he should be more concerned, should be focused, but he was enjoying the ‘new relationship phase’ just as much as he’d enjoying the starter ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ phase. Not that that had ended so much as bled into this one. Other than the secrecy he couldn’t remember a relationship being easier or more gratifying.

Jyn’s mouth quirked up into a little leer. “Are you admitting you like something more than work?”

“I don’t know where I got the reputation that I like work more than sex, but I’d like to dispute it,” Cassian answered with a grin.

“Willing to be a witness,” Jyn offered. Suddenly Cassian found himself with a lap full of Jyn, and he was certain by the mischievousness on her face that he’d made a fatal error. She leaned down and kissed him and his hands came up to hold her close even though he knew he was playing into her game.

She deepened the kiss and he groaned and broke away. “We can’t. Not here.”

“Why? It’s Sunday,” Jyn said easily. “There’s no one else here.”

“Security cameras,” he panted as she rocked herself more firmly into his lap.

“They don’t check those unless something is wrong,” Jyn said rolling her eyes. “We’ll just have to be careful not to break anything.” She leaned down to kiss him again and he turned his head to give another protest, but she just changed her destination and started in on his jaw and throat.

“Jyn.”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“This is a really bad idea.”

“Scaredy-cat,” she said softly and bit his earlobe immediately after. Her hands were pushing his shirt up to run over his abdomen and he tried to catch her wrists to slow her down. She let him catch one, but the other slipped away and fingers glided under his waistband.

“Jyn.”

“You’re working on the weekend. They can’t hold it against you.” Her hand wiggled lower and he sighed as her lips captured his again. There really was no putting her off when Jyn was on a mission. It was one of the things he loved, and he could use the word if it was only in his head, loved about her. When Jyn got something into her head, she’d achieve it no matter what stood in her way, and she didn’t even seem to think it was remarkable. Jyn removed her hand from his pants and rocked in his lap and he dug his fingers into her hips pulling her closer. Who was he to fight a force of nature?

Jyn finally tugged on his hair pulling his head back so he was looking up at her. “Should I go then?” And he knew she was being a brat because she could feel how hard he was against her thigh.

“Yes,” he said just to be stubborn. “You should.”

She glared and pressed closer. “Cassian, don’t be an asshole. Don’t you have a point to prove?”

“You’re going to get me into trouble.”

“Maybe,” she said. “What do you want?”

“I _want_ to take you home and ravish you.”

“But?”

“But I have to get this done or I won’t be able to ravish you all week.”

Jyn huffed. “Fine.” And to Cassian’s surprise she slipped off his lap. He struggled to keep his hands from reaching for her. “We’ll just have to be quick about it.” Then her hands were on his fly and undoing his pants and he may have tried to make a noise of protest before she was tugging his pants and boxers down, but his hips lifted for her all the same. Her warm hands wrapped around him and then her lips kissed the tip of his cock pulling a groan from him. She swallowed him down further and the glint in her eyes while she did it nearly destroyed him. It turned him on just watching her enjoy herself even if it was at his expense. He couldn’t say he didn’t feel smug when he made her unravel in return.

She dipped her head taking in more of him and then pulled off of him with a wet slurping sound that had him digging his fingers into her hair. “Relax, Cassian. Let me take care of you.”

Her head dipped again and her warm mouth took him in. He focused on trying not to jerk his hips up to meet her. Whatever she was willing to give was more than enough. Her lips sank lower and he gave a soft noise as her tongue pressed firmly against him. They should really not be doing this in his office. One of her hands slid down to cup him gently and if he wasn’t lost before he was now.

She worked him slowly at first before picking up speed, the hand wrapped around the base of his dick matching the bobbing of her head. “Fuck, you look nice like that,” Cassian muttered running a hand gently over her throat.

Jyn flicked her eyes up to him again and making eye contact while she sucked him pushed him closer to the edge. If you’d told him a year ago Jyn Erso would be on her knees blowing him in his office he would have laughed, well actually he would have probably told whoever said it that they’d do well to mind their own fucking business and that Jyn and him weren’t like that, they were just friends. But holy hell was he enjoying not being ‘just friends’. Jyn made him happy and not just because she was willing to mix up his sex life.

She released him with a wet popping sound and ran her tongue over him again circling his tip. “Come for me, Cassian.” Her mouth descended on him again and he panted for her. Who was he to tell her no? Even before all this she’d had an uncanny ability to talk him into anything. He only ever broke the rules for her. He came gasping her name.

“You don’t have to look so smug about it,” he said when he collected himself a little.

“Who looks smug?” she asked grinning.

He was about to respond when he heard the office door open. He muttered a curse as he hastily tucked himself back into his pants and Jyn bolted to her feet trying to straighten her hair unsuccessfully. They were both at least decent by the time their unexpected guest rounded the corner from the hallway.

“Andor,” Draven greeted stiffly, his eyes sliding over the scene and probably reading more than Cassian would like. Cassian nodded a greeting and tried not to look guilty. “What are you doing here on a weekend?”

“Just wanted to get a head start on some work,” Cassian said nodding to his now sleeping computer. “Jyn just came by to drop off some dinner. I believe you two have met before?”

Draven eyed Jyn like a potential political opponent. “Perhaps.” Jyn looked equally unimpressed, crossing her arms and leaning against his desk. “Since you’re here I’d like to go over a few things. That is, if you have time.”

“Yeah, of course,” Cassian agreed readily. He actually needed to review a few things with Draven and get input before he could finish some of his work. He glanced back at Jyn. “Uh, I’ll come to your office if that works?”

Draven nodded and headed in the direction of his office. “You can bring your dinner with you.” Cassian let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“Think he knows you just came in my mouth?” Jyn asked conversationally.

He hissed between his teeth and shook his head. “That was closer than I ever want to be to getting caught by Draven.”

“I suppose next time I’ll just bring dinner then,” Jyn said with a cocky grin. “Can’t have you getting caught with your pants down.”

He stood up and kissed her. “Go home.”

“You’re still coming over tonight, right?”

He glanced to where Draven had disappeared. “It might be late.”

“I don’t care,” she said. “I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I don’t mind.”

“I’ll be there,” he said quickly before she could talk either of them out of it. “Thank you for bringing dinner.” He pulled her in for another quick kiss, but pulled back when her hands tried to drag him closer. “Go, before you get me in trouble,” he said with a laugh.

She grinned and strutted out the door like she owned the office, or maybe just like she owned him.

Cassian shook his head and gathered the papers he needed to go over with Draven, praying to everything holy that the man would just not say anything about it. And whatever holy being was listening worked it out for the hour and a half he was in there, but as he stood to leave Draven cleared his throat.

“It’s certainly a change from Nioma,” the man said finally.

“Sir?”

“I assume she’s what’s been distracting you lately?”

“I’m not-”

“Andor, I’m not an idiot. Your work hasn’t been up to par lately, sufficient yes, but not to your usual standard. I honestly prefer this to the alternative options, which was that you’d found out you had some sort of terminal illness or were searching for another job. I just didn’t expect… her, based on your previous preference.”

Cassian frowned. Draven wasn’t wrong. Nioma had worked with them and been just as focused as Cassian on the cause, actually more focused than him in the end. Cassian had thought she was the one, they’d matched in every way, agreed on every political topic, liked the same documentaries and books – it was easy and they never fought about anything really. Even at the end it hadn’t been a fight. Cassian had wanted to get married and start a family, and she’d simply said she had no interest and that her only focus was her career. They’d stayed together for a little while after that, but it’d been the beginning of the end. Cassian still wanted what he wanted – a family to call his own – had wanted it, if he was honest, since he was young getting passed around to uninterested extended family members and seeing other kids with families and homes that hadn’t been devastated by death, and Nioma was adamant she didn’t. He’d barely been surprised when she’d announced to him one day that she was moving to work on a presidential campaign for a senator from DC and she didn’t want the distraction of a relationship. He’d been heartbroken, but not surprised.

“Jyn and I have been friends for years,” Cassian said, not knowing what else to say. He and Draven did not discuss their personal lives.

Draven lifted an eyebrow slightly. “I see.”

It was obvious the conclusions the older man was drawing, and Cassian felt heat creep up his neck and hoped to god it wasn’t a visible blush. How did one go about telling their boss they hadn’t just invited their fuck buddy around to the office? “Not that. It’s not that. It’s just. We’re different people, but we complement each other well. ”

And he’d never said it out loud like that, but he found it was true. It’s why they had been friends for so long. Jyn made him take risks he never would have on his own, that yeah sometimes that ended in disaster, but more often than not those adventures were some of his favorite memories over the years. He liked to think he helped her make the risks less risky when they took them together, or that he talked her out of nonsense that would definitely never work. He was one of the few people she’d actually take advice from. She got him to watch silly shows that made him laugh, and she’d indulge him and watch documentaries that would have her ranting about the injustices of the world for days after. She liked to tease him about his political passions, but she got just as riled if you could get past her veneer of not caring. Jyn didn’t always agree with his opinions, but debating with her was one of his favorite activities. Watching her brain work and think in ways his didn’t was always fun and surprising. They challenged each other and made each other do things outside their comfort zones with the security of knowing their friend was right beside them if it turned bad.

They knew each other’s histories and were tied up in each other’s pasts in a good way. The Ersos had been a second home for Cassian once he and Bodhi made friends. It’d been wanting to keep his new friends that had often stopped him from causing problems for his uncle that might have gotten him shipped off again. When Jyn had stopped hating him, she’d been a fierce friend too and being with the two of them had always felt a bit like being part of a family and a home he’d never really had the chance to have. When his uncle had passed away his sophomore year of college, it was the Ersos who’d helped him with funeral arrangements and packing up and selling his uncle’s small home afterwards. It was Jyn, who hadn’t had any words for him, which wouldn’t have helped anyway, but who had stayed staunchly by his side during the wake and held his hand through the whole funeral service. He couldn’t imagine his world without her in it.

There were dozens of other small examples of how they worked that he could think of instantly, but how to explain that to a person like Draven? To explain that he was crazy about her because she wasn’t what he should want on paper, because she was already family long before this, because they’d always have each other’s backs, and because she simply made him stupid happy in a way that no one else ever had.

“Our line of work isn’t easy,” Draven said interrupting his thoughts. “Long hours, late nights, and often extended travel. People like us tend to get focused on the job and let some everyday needs slip through the cracks.” He said it neutrally, and Cassian wasn’t sure how exactly to reply. Draven was not a forthcoming man, and when his wedding ring had disappeared from his hand a year and a half ago many people had noticed, but no one had ever said anything – least of all the man in question. “Nioma could understand that, being in it herself.”

“Jyn knows what my life is,” Cassian said firmly. And yeah, they wouldn’t always be in the honeymoon phase forgiving each other’s every sin, but Jyn had always had a knack for knowing when to let him focus and when he needed a distraction in much the same way he understood when she needed to be pushed and when she needed to be told to let it go. “She’s friends with Leia too. She gets it as much as anyone can.”

Draven gave a small grunt of acknowledgement. “Good luck with that then. This is enough for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Cassian rose and hesitated slightly. “What is it, Andor?”

“It’s just,” he paused and then sighed. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Leia.”

Draven looked disgruntled. “I don’t even want to know, and I have no interest in discussing your personal life with other work colleagues. Go home, Andor.”

Cassian nodded and tried not to scurry out of the man’s office. He could at least pretend he’d retained some of his dignity. Jyn really was going to get him in trouble one day. He thought of their earlier encounter and grinned as he packed up his bag. Totally worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now that was mainly just fluff and a little more insight into Cassian's thoughts on the whole thing, but I couldn't resist after last chapter's angst.


	7. The One With The First Discovery

Jyn loved when Han was out of town visiting distributors or running whatever shady side gigs he always seemed to have in play. Leia was trying to get him on the straight and narrow, but so far it had only done so much. “I think I’m going to buy Han something nice,” she said as Cassian kissed down her neck.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hm, just something to say thank you for being gone often and letting me have sex with your roommate on every surface of the apartment.”

Cassian laughed, and fuck she loved that laugh. Even better when he saved it so often for her. She bit down on his shoulder playfully and thought ‘my laugh, my shoulder, my Cassian, all for me.’ She’d been called selfish a few times over the years and she was fine with that. She wanted Cassian to be hers. And he was, wasn’t he? They were dating. The thought still made her giddy even three weeks later. They’d gone on dates and walked around the city with her hand tucked into his as fall started to settle in, and she’d never thought she’d be a girl who liked that, but here she was.

“Up,” he demanded. “Getting a crick in my neck.”

“Sorry,” she said around a laugh of her own. She gave a little jump and wrapped her legs around his waist letting him press her back against the wall and get a better angle to continue kissing her. She was dressed in nothing but one of his old college shirts and had a feeling it wouldn’t be staying on for long either. They’d gotten up to make breakfast, but had gotten distracted along the way. The hand not fully supporting her slipped up under the shirt to touch more of her skin.

Jyn shifted in his hold so that she could press down harder on his groin and he gave an appreciative little grunt as his hand skimmed up to her breast. His mouth moved down to her jawline and she tilted her head to give him more access. “I love that,” she praised because he so enjoyed hearing her talk. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to say, but it was as close as she could muster. “I want you.”

“Holy fucking shit.”

Cassian jerked back and she snapped her head up to see a stunned Han Solo standing in the doorway of their apartment. Cassian dropped her back to her feet and turned to face Han pressing her behind him, not that there was much to see as she tugged Cassian’s t-shirt back down around her thighs.

A shit-eating grin started to overcome Solo’s surprise. “Don’t stop on my account.”

“I thought you were gone till tomorrow,” Cassian commented somehow sounding unruffled and like he hadn’t just been caught with this hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.

“Clearly,” Han said tossing his bag down and letting the door fall shut behind him. “Deal went sideways. Came back early for the show. Nice legs, Erso.”

“Get fucked, Solo,” Jyn hissed around Cassian’s shoulder. Cassian’s hand came back behind him to rest comfortingly on her hip. It didn’t stop her from vibrating with embarrassed rage, but it did at least stop her from leaping at Han and starting a fight.

“You offering?” Solo smirked.

The hand on her hip tensed and Jyn wondered if Han was aware how close he was to getting slugged by Cassian. “Han, can you give us a moment?”

“To finish?” the man joked. “Sorry, to cock block you buddy. Shoulda put a sock on the door. I’ll just head over to Leia’s then. Shocked I didn’t get a text about this.”

“No,” Jyn said sharply stepping out from behind Cassian. She didn’t care if she was only in Cassian’s shirt and messed up hair. She could still kick Han Solo’s ass.

“Am I the first to know then?” Han asked. “Oh man, the rest of them are going to shit themselves. How long have you two been knocking boots anyway?”

“I’m going to murder you and no one is ever going to find the body,” Jyn said darkly.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Not sure Leia would be thrilled about that.”

“She’ll survive.”

“You’re not going to do shit, little sister,” Han teased confidently. “And if you were smart, you’d be begging not threatening.”

“Jyn,” Cassian soothed dropping a hand on her shoulder. “Let him go.” She didn’t relax under his touch this time. She wasn’t ready for this. Everything had been going so well. She wasn’t ready to lose Cassian when their stupid well-meaning friends inevitably got all up in their business and ruined everything. They’d tease and snoop and embarrass them until Cassian realized she wasn’t worth it and fled. No one thought she was good enough for him, and she knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t need them pointing that fact out to Cassian. Didn’t need them dragging out her commitment issues and warning him off. Desperate to keep him, if only for a little longer she fisted her hands. Han Solo was an idiot if he thought she couldn’t bully him into silence. “After all it’s up to him if he wants to lose all that money.”

Jyn turned to look at Cassian in confusion. “What money?” Solo asked.

“I just thought you were smarter than this,” Cassian shrugged and Jyn snorted earning herself a glare from both Cassian and Han.

“What the hell are you on about, Andor? I don’t see any reason I shouldn’t be inviting everyone down to the bar to share the news. This is the best gossip we’ve had in ages. If nothing else, it’ll be worth it just to blow Rook’s mind.”

Cassian’s hand ran down her spine and hooked around her waist at the mention of her brother. “If you want to waste the perfect con that’s on you,” he said calmly. “But if I were in your position and had the information you have I’d be setting up a rigged betting pool.”

Jyn looked up at him and couldn’t believe he was serious. Cassian betrayed nothing on his face though, and when she turned back to Han the other man looked thoughtful.

“So what? You want me to set up the bet and then expose you? What’s in it for you?”

“You don’t expose us at all,” Cassian said. “We’ll tell you when we’re ready to tell the others in advance. You set up the bet and we don’t narc that you already knew when you rake in all the cash. Think about it. Even if you just get forty bucks out of Chewie, Leia, Luke, Bodhi, Lando, Shara, and Kes that’s a couple hundred dollars for nothing more than keeping your mouth shut. And given your ability to get people to take stupid bets I’m sure you can rope in a shit ton more people at a higher price than that.”

Han stared at Cassian with narrowed eyes clearly trying to figure out his game. “It means that much to you to keep this quiet? I mean I get that it’ll cause a ruckus, but it’s not like Erso is heinous to look at. No man would be ashamed to add that notch to the bedpost.”

Cassian’s hand squeezed her hip again, but otherwise gave no outward sign he wanted to punch the man. For the decent guy Han was deep down, he sure had a gift for covering it up with some misogynistic bullshit when he wanted to. “It’s no one’s business, but ours.”

There was a thoughtful silence where Han glanced between the coldly calm Cassian and the bristling with rage Jyn. “How long? It wasn’t just this weekend was it?”

Jyn was about to tell him to fuck off when Cassian answered honestly. “A little over two months.”

Han gave a low whistle. “That’s a long time to just be fucking around.”

“Yeah. It is,” Cassian stated evenly. Jyn pressed closer to his side.

Han snorted. “Well, I’ll be damned. Didn’t see it coming, but doesn’t make the worst sense. Fine, you’ve got a deal. But if the bet doesn’t work or you sell me out you owe me $300.”

“Solo,” Jyn growled.

“Deal,” Cassian said over her. “As long as the same terms apply in reverse.”

Han shrugged. “I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

“Good,” Cassian said. “Do you also know how to get lost?”

Han laughed and held up his hands in surrender. “Fine, just don’t fuck in my recliner.”

“That’s assuming we haven’t already,” Jyn spat. They hadn’t because they weren’t fucking rude, but Solo didn’t need to know that.

Han looked ready to go off and Cassian cut them both off. “We won’t and we didn’t. Get lost.”

“I do live here.”

Cassian sighed and grabbed his wallet from a side table tugging out forty bucks and shoving it in Han’s hands. “Find breakfast or something, just don’t come back for a few hours.”

“A few hours, huh?” Han said shooting them a lewd smile.

“Some men take their time,” Jyn defended. “And can go multiple rounds.”

“Just go,” Cassian said pulling the door open for him.

Han shrugged and headed for the door, clapping Cassian on the shoulder as he passed. “Good luck with that one.”

“Goodbye, Han.” Jyn was impressed that Cassian didn’t slam the door behind him. He looked at her cautiously as he turned back around. “You ok?”

“You really think he’ll keep quiet?”

“Yeah, he just needed an excuse to be the decent person he actually wants to be, and the promise of a monetary reward should do the trick.”

“Anyone ever tell you you have a gift for persuading people to do what you want?”

“Yes,” Cassian said. “Bail Organa, and then he promptly introduced me to Dravits Draven.” Jyn didn’t know that much about Cassian’s direct boss other than the man overworked him and, from how Cassian refused to discuss the one incident at his office, probably knew they were together. “Why? You worried I’m using it on you?”

Jyn huffed a laugh. No, she wasn’t worried about that. More worried that the root of him being able to manipulate people was because he saw too much. What if he saw something he didn’t like in her? Though she supposed it was silly to think she’d ever managed to hide much from him before now. He knew what she was.

“Are you ok?” he repeated. “I know you didn’t want any of our friends to know.”

She sighed. “If it had to be someone at least it was the easily bribable self-absorbed one. All the others would have had more questions.”

He crossed back over to her and kissed her softly. His hands shook slightly when he touched her face and she wondered if he was nervous. But why in the world would he be nervous? “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out resting his forehead against hers. “Just thought it might make you second-guess this.”

“Han Solo has never made me second-guess anything in my life and he never will,” she quipped back.

“Good, that’s good,” he said and he pulled her in closer to him. “Kind of killed the mood.”

“Make me breakfast, and we’ll see if we can get it back,” she teased trying to lighten the atmosphere around them.

“As you wish.” He kissed her temple and let her go slowly.

“Cassian, are you sure you’re ok?”

He gave her a crooked little smile. “Of course.” He clearly wasn’t, but she knew this mood too. She wasn’t going to get anything else out of him.

* * *

“Something is up with Jyn,” Bodhi announced to the table. It was their monthly poker game and Cassian flicked his eyes up to see how people reacted to that declaration. Kay looked unsurprisingly uninterested, Luke exasperated, and Chewie bored. Han however was staring at Cassian and he returned Han’s gaze with a cold bored look that bordered on threatening.

“What makes you say that?” Han asked grinning.

“Do not get him started,” Luke groaned.

Bodhi shot his husband, what for Bodhi, constituted a glare and ignored him. “She’s weirdly _happy_.”

“And that’s a problem, why?” Luke asked sounding like he’d asked it many times before.

“It’s not a problem,” Bodhi defended. “It’s just weird and I want to know why.”

“What makes you think she’s acting weird?” Chewie asked.

“Lots of things. But last week she came over for our weekly dinner and I asked her how her week had been, and she said, ‘good’!” Bodhi stopped and looked around the table, obviously waiting for a reaction. None came and he curled into himself slightly. “Jyn doesn’t say ‘good’ when you ask that question. She lists out all the ways the week sucked and who deserves a good beating. Even if it’s only the dude that shoved her trying to get on the subway.”

“Maybe she just had a good week,” Kay noted. “Statistically speaking that’s bound to happen.”

“It’s been longer than a week,” Bodhi argued. “And it isn’t just that. She’s smiling more and weirdly relaxed, and I dunno, something is up with her. I caught her humming to herself while she did the dishes a few days ago.”

“It sounds like you’re concerned that your sister is happy,” Luke pointed out.

“I’m not!” Bodhi yelped. “I want her to be happy. But I also want to know why she’s happy.”

“If she’s happy you should leave her alone.”

“Yeah, but if I don’t know why I won’t be able to help her if something goes wrong,” Bodhi argued.

“Maybe she’s caught herself a man,” Han threw in. “Leia did say she’s fucking someone.”

“Fucking someone and being happy are two very different things,” Bodhi countered.

"Just leave her alone,” Luke advised. “Push her and she’ll just lock down further.”

“People’s behavior is modified by having orgasms,” Kay put in. “There have been studies.”

“Can we not talk about my sister orgasming?” Bodhi groaned and shuddered.

“You brought it up,” Chewie pointed out.

“I did not! I only said something was up with her. Han and Kay were the ones who took it there.”

“She’ll come to you if she needs something,” Cassian advised, trying to sound uninterested.

“I’m telling you I’ve never seen her like this,” Bodhi argued. “You of all people should have noticed, Cassian. You’ve known her forever. I’m worried. She’s clearly totally into this guy if that’s what it is, but refuses to introduce him to us, which means there’s definitely something wrong with him.” Cassian tried not to wince. “I know I’m not that intimidating, but I swear to god if this guy hurts her. Well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll definitely sic Cassian on him.”

Han laughed and Cassian fought the urge to kick him under the table. “What’s Cassian going to do about it?”

“You clearly haven’t seen Cassian angry,” Bodhi argued with Han. “He’s scary. He’ll end you without throwing a punch.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Cassian said lightly, focusing on his cards. “Call.”

“Cassian is quite intelligent. There are other ways besides physical violence to inflict pain. But why he would want to do it on Jyn’s behalf is beyond me. I know he has that odd affection for her due to mutual childhood history, but it’s hardly worth getting upset over who she dates.”

“Are you kidding?” Bodhi asked staring wide-eyed at Kay. “We all grew up together. Jyn is practically Cassian’s little sister too.”

Han nearly choked on the sip of beer he’d taken, and Cassian tried to get that sentence out of his head. Anything for a change of subject. “Jyn is a big girl. She can handle herself. You know she’ll come to you if she needs you.”

Bodhi barked a laugh. “No she won’t. She’ll bottle it up for sure. She needs to be badgered to share.”

“Bodhi,” Luke said calmly. “Just let her be happy. None of us are going anywhere. If something goes wrong, we’ll know and we can deal with it then.”

“Maybe you just need someone else helping you badger,” Han chimed in further. “Like you said, Cassian is practically her brother too. Maybe he can persuade her to tell him something.”

Well, that settled that, Cassian was definitely having sex with Jyn in the man’s recliner. Fully naked and everything. Maybe several times. Jyn would be thrilled if only to spite Han. Bodhi looked at him hopefully. “Would you ask her?”

“She’s not going to tell me anything she hasn’t already told you,” he argued calmly.  

“But you live right next door, you can at least keep an eye out if you see a strange man coming or going.”

“Think he’s mainly coming,” Han cackled and Chewie laughed beside him. Bodhi threw a pretzel at them across the table.

“If she was bringing this man in and out of her apartment wouldn’t Leia have noticed?” Kay asked.

“Maybe the guy is hiding in plain sight,” Han answered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bodhi demanded. “Oh. My. God. You are not having a threesome with Leia and my sister!”

Cassian nearly dropped his beer as Han looked shocked and sputtered. Luke had his face in his hands and Chewie was roaring with laughter. Kay just looked done.

“Honey, I say this with love, but you’re insane,” Luke said finally cutting through the ruckus. “Han is the last guy Jyn would sleep with, and I know my sister. She doesn’t share.”

“So what the hell was that supposed to mean?” Bodhi demanded turning on Han who floundered for an answer.

“Maybe she’s sleeping with Cassian,” Kay said boredly.

“WHAT?”

“Leia would not make any particular note of Cassian’s ‘comings and goings,’ as you said,” Kay explained slowly like he was speaking to a toddler. “Cassian has also recently taken on a new sexual partner.”

Fuck. The good news was Han was going to owe him money because he counted this as ratting them out, but the bad news was Jyn was going to freak and probably leave him just to have plausible deniability. He wasn’t ready for that yet. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready for that.

“Yeah, but I’ve met the girl Cassian is fucking,” Han said with a shrug. “Cute little blonde, super uppity about politics and likes to wear a lot of pink. Super not Jyn.” Cassian let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. That man had just saved his recliner some truly depraved payback.    

“Oh yeah?” Chewie asked grinning at him. “Where’d you meet her?”

Lying Cassian could do. “Fundraising event,” he said with a shrug.

“Why haven’t you brought her around?” Luke asked. For all he pretended to be a serene hippy he was just as demanding as his sister.

“It’s nothing serious,” Cassian said with a shrug. “Can we get on with the game already?” The others grumbled, but turned back to their cards.

“So you’ll ask Jyn?” Bodhi asked hopefully.

“I’ll ask her,” Cassian said trying not to wince, “But she isn’t going to tell me anything she hasn’t told you.” They’d work together to make something up that would settle Bodhi down, maybe a promotion at the gym or a new favorite show that was lifting her spirits more than usual. “Seriously are we finishing this or not?” The game started up again and Cassian tried not to sigh in relief.          

* * *

“Seriously dude, you owe me one,” Han said as they entered the apartment later that night.

“I don’t owe you shit,” Cassian argued. “You were the one who started it.”

“Hey, I didn’t know Kay was going to accuse you of sleeping with her.”

“Han, just go to bed. I’m too tired to deal with you right now.” Han rolled his eyes but complied heading off to his room. Cassian stopped off at the bathroom to brush his teeth and pee before heading to his own room.

The light was out and there was a lump in his bed that was distinctly Jyn shaped. She must have snuck over after Leia fell asleep. The sight delighted him, and he didn’t care if it was stupid. He wanted her there, in his bed and in his life for as long as she wanted to be there. Clearly she was happy with the arrangement, too. He just wondered how long they could keep it, keep each other. Jyn had never been one who was looking to settle down, and their friends’ jokes about her commitment-phobia were not entirely unwarranted. He’d been genuinely terrified she was going to end it when Han walked in on them. So far she hadn’t balked, but he knew that was probably more due to Han having zero interest in their personal lives other than enjoying joking about their sexual activities, rather than Jyn having any real level of comfort with all their friends knowing.

Cassian stripped down to his boxers in the dark and got into the bed next to her. The mattress dipped and she rolled over to curl into him instantly. He draped his own arm around her and ran fingers through her hair.

“How’as poker?” she mumbled sleepily.

“It was good,” he said softly, not wanting to fully wake her up. “Chewie won.”

“Chewie always wins,” she said with a tired laugh.

“How was girl’s night?”

“Fine,” she said around a yawn.

“Go back to sleep, Jyn.”

“I set my alarm,” she informed him as her eyes slid shut again. Another small reminder that this wouldn’t last forever. They couldn’t keep sneaking around, and Jyn would bolt when the added pressure of their friends’ and family’s expectations were leveled at them. He should just say it. Just say it and make her run now. Save himself from the pain that was sure to follow later on down the line. At least he wouldn’t regret having not said it.

“Jyn,” he whispered and she roused herself slightly.

“Yeah?”

“I love,” he started and her eyes widened slightly and he chickened out. “That you’re here.”

She settled into a sleepy smile and shifted to kiss him. “Good, because your bed is nicer than mine.”

“I wasn’t going to point it out,” he teased.

“You’re such a showoff. Always adulting 5x harder than you have to.”

He kissed her again. “Goodnight, querida.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Han is the first to know. I couldn't resist doing a new angle on the "betting on the relationship" trope!


	8. The One With The Hospital

“So there’s this thing,” she started eloquently.

Cassian shifted in the bed next to her and propped himself up on one arm. She resolutely stared at the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said turning over and reaching out towards the floor, trying to find some clothing. Her fingers snagged on some cloth and she pulled back to discover it was Cassian’s t-shirt. She didn’t get very far towards putting it on though as his hands found her waist and pulled her back towards him twisting her around.

“Let’s do it,” Cassian said, smiling easily.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say. You could have just agreed to some depraved sexual act.”

Cassian laughed and ran his hand down her side. “Well too late to go back on it now. How do you want me?”

She punched his shoulder. “I’m serious. What if I wanted to peg you or something?”

“What’s peg?” he asked curiously.

“Honestly, Cassian,” she said, rolling her eyes. He was so out of touch with anything that wasn’t a serious political issue sometimes. “It’s when a girl gets a strap on with a dildo and fucks you.”

“Are you into that?” he asked neutrally.

“Would you let me if I was?”

“I’m not really into anal,” he said thoughtfully. “But I’ve never actually tried it. We could talk about it if it was something you really wanted.”

She laughed and pressed closer burying her face in his naked chest. Fuck, he really was the most amazing man she’d ever met. “I don’t want to peg you, Cassian. Too much work. But I do appreciate the openness to trying.”

“So what’s the thing?”

Right, she’d started that. She’d been trying to mention it for weeks and never worked up the courage to say anything. Too late now though. Cassian would never let it go. “Chirrut and Baze.”

“What about them?” Strong fingers kneaded into her neck and she gave a little moan as he hit a knot.

“They have a house upstate,” she said, “They always try to get me to use it for a weekend and I always say no.”

“So?”

“Well, I was thinking,” she started. Cassian made an encouraging noise. She dropped a kiss to his shoulder and tried to gather her courage. “I was thinking maybe we could go there this weekend. Just you and me, you know.”

“I can’t this weekend. We have that rally.”

“Right, stupid idea.” She tried to push down the disappointment that flooded her system. She thought he might want to, but doing a weekend getaway was really pushing it wasn’t it? They were secretly dating, not honeymooning, and there was nowhere to run if you went away together and something went wrong.

“How about next weekend?”

“What?”

“How about next weekend? Would they give it to you then?” Cassian asked steadily.

“You’d want to?”

“Of course.” He pushed her back slightly so she had to look him in the eyes. “I’ll go anywhere you are, Jyn.”

Something warm and soft radiated out from her center and heated her whole body in a way sex didn’t. “It could be fun.”

“It will be,” he said with a small crooked little smile that he only seemed to offer up to her.

“They said there are some good hiking trails and the place has a firepit out back. There’s a little town nearby with exactly one bar and one grocery store.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I was thinking I’d just tell Leia that I had like a martial arts workshop upstate. Bodhi is flying so he won’t notice one way or another.”

“I don’t think I need an excuse,” he said with a shrug. “Han knows and anyone else that asks I’ll just say I’m busy and they won’t press further.”

“Ok,” she said. She had to admit she was a little jealous he didn’t have to lie. Truthfully, she’d been a little surprised by how little of a hard time Han had given them. He liked to make disgusted noises if they showed any affection in front of him, and make lewd comments trying to get a rise out of them, but honestly otherwise seemed utterly unperturbed. Maybe their friends wouldn’t be overbearing about it. Though she doubted it. If Bodhi didn’t blow it out of proportion one way he was sure to get his hopes way too high. She could already see their pitying looks when Cassian realized he’d had enough of her, or that, like Nioma, she couldn’t give him what he wanted and he had to let her down gently. She snuggled in closer to him – again trying to push the bad thoughts away – and smiled when he kissed her temple. “It’ll be fun.” The statement was more for her than him.

“Anywhere with you is fun,” he said softly. It was cheesy and it still melted her anyway. She’d keep this for as long as she possibly could.

* * *

He glanced over at Jyn as he drove. The windows were down, even with the fall chill edging into a cold that brought a pink tinge to her cheeks. Her hair was pulling loose of her bun, twisting around her face. She was so fucking beautiful. He reached out and dropped his free hand on her thigh. Jyn turned back to him and gave him a soft smile that, were he not driving, would have him leaning over to kiss her.

Cassian could barely believe they had a whole weekend to themselves. Not that they hadn’t stolen weekends before with missing roommates, but going away together seemed different.   The apartments always offered the opportunity of fleeing, walking across the hall if things went bad. Driving up to some backwater cabin didn’t allow for an easy exit, and Jyn was the one who’d suggested it. Jyn was the one who thought it’d be good. Jyn was the one who was taking the relationship to the next level. If Kay could see him now, he’d be horrified.   Cassian knew he was in too deep and really didn’t give a fuck. Jyn dropped her hand over his. She went back to looking out the window and he went back to looking at the road.

“Thank you for coming,” she said, quietly still staring out the window and fiddling with her mother’s ever-present necklace.

He squeezed her thigh. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

They drove on in comfortable silence for a while more before her cell went off and disrupted it. She glanced at it before setting it back down.

“Not going to answer?”

A shrug. “Unknown number.” A minute later the phone vibrated again. Jyn frowned at the screen. “They left a voicemail.” She put the phone to her ear and he figured it was a telemarketer, but a minute later she let out a little noise that sounded so broken it nearly shattered his heart.

“Jyn?”

She was already dialing a number. “Hi, yes someone from the hospital just called me. This is Jyn Erso. They said they had my father there.” A pause. “Galen Erso. Please, can you tell me what happened?”

Cassian pulled over and put on the emergency signals. He could only hear half the conversation, but it sounded serious and Jyn’s face went white as a sheet. He reached out to touch her knee, but she didn’t seem to register it. He did what he did best and was patient through the rest of the one sided conversation. She hung up and her hand was shaking.

“Jyn, look at me,” he said softly touching her face and turning her to him. “What happened?”

“Papa,” she said with a quaver in her voice.

“What about him?” Please, don’t say he was dead. Whatever came out of her mouth next, please let it not be that he was dead. Jyn and her father had a strained relationship, he knew that, and still there was no way she would take his death well. Whatever issues they had, it was clear they loved each other.

“He had a heart attack. He’s at the hospital and I need to get there. They said he was alive, but not stable yet.”

“Ok,” Cassian said soothingly. “Then he’s in good hands. Which hospital, Jyn?”

She sucked in a broken breath and stared back down at her phone. “There’s probably a train station nearby. You can drop me off. Let me just look it up.”

He caught her hand. “Jyn, what hospital is he at?”

“Naboo Memorial,” she said. “If you’ll just take me to the train.”

“Don’t be stupid. I’m driving you to the hospital,” he said firmly, already punching in the name to the GPS.

“You don’t have to. You can just get me to the train station and go up to the cabin or go home if you want.”

“Jyn,” he said looking up from his phone. “I’m not leaving you alone, ok? We’re going to the hospital together, and we’ll deal with whatever is happening together.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said simply. “I want to. Jyn, even if we weren’t doing whatever it is we’re doing now, I’d want to be with you for this. We’re friends, and friends don’t let friends deal with this kind of stuff alone. You wouldn’t leave me and I’m not going to leave you. Now I’m driving you to the hospital. Do you need to call Bodhi?”

She shook her head. “He’s in the air. I don’t want him to get that message when he lands. He should be down in three hours. I’ll call him then when we know more.”

“Ok,” he said, pulling out and doing a U-turn. “We’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”

She didn’t say anything, but a moment later she reached out and slipped her fingers through his. She held his hand so tight it hurt, but he didn’t care. All he could hope was that her father would be alright.

The drive was tense and they didn’t say another word. When they got to the hospital Jyn nearly flew out of the rental car before it was stopped. He cursed under his breath and finished parking before bolting after her. She was already at the receptionist counter by the time he got in the doors.

“But why can’t I see him?” she demanded.

“Miss, I need you to calm down.”

“Jyn,” he said comfortingly as he came up behind her. He pressed a grounding hand into her lower back. “Sorry, ma’am, she’s just worried about her father.” He felt her tense further under his hand. “His name is Galen Erso. Would you be able to help us?”

“I’m going to need some identification,” the receptionist said, eyeing them both warily.

“Of course,” he said. Jyn looked frustrated and he lifted the purse he’d snagged out of the car after she’d forgotten it and gave it to her. She dug through and slammed her driver’s license down on the counter.

“Miss Erso, if you could just have a seat a doctor will be out to see you.”

“Fuck that,” Jyn hissed. “Where is my father?”

“Jyn, let’s just have a seat and I’m sure the doctor will be out shortly.” He pressed on her hip slightly to get her to turn her attention away from the receptionist and back to him. “Querida, please?”

She folded into herself slightly and he pulled her closer. “I just want to know if he’s stable or not.”

He tugged her fully into his arms and kissed her forehead. “It’s not like she would even know anything. I’m sure the doctor is coming. Let’s just take a seat and they’ll be out soon. Sound good?” She tugged out of his arms and marched towards the waiting room, her back rigid.

“Your girlfriend is a bit much,” the receptionist commented.

“My girlfriend’s father just had a heart attack and is waiting to hear if he’s even still alive,” he said stiffly. “I understand you have regulations to follow, but you don’t have to be rude. If that doctor isn’t out here in the next five minutes, you’re going to wish it was her who was making the scene.”

He marched away and took the uncomfortable plastic chair next to Jyn. If it was someone other than her he’d have probably forced out a false platitude, but he knew that wasn’t what she wanted. The hand not clutching her necklace shot out again to clench around his and he squeezed back to let her know he was here with her.

The next few minutes felt like an eternity. Jyn stared off into space with a destroyed look that he never wanted to see there again. Maybe he should call Leia? She’d know what to do beyond holding Jyn’s hand. Hell, maybe she might even have some clout from her last name and could get a fucking doctor out here.

“Ms. Erso?”

“Yes.” Jyn stood and Cassian rose with her.

“I’m Doctor Kalonia. I’ve been treating your father. Are you family?” she asked eyeing Cassian.

“Yes,” Jyn answered instantly. “My father?”

“He’s alive Ms. Erso. It really was a minor heart attack. The bigger problem was he fell during the attack and hit his head on the edge of a workbench, rendering himself unconscious.”

“Can I see him?”

“He’s just regained consciousness. We’re running a few tests and then you and your…” she trailed off again looking at Cassian.

“Fiancé,” Jyn said easily. “He’s my fiancé.”

“Right, yes. You and your fiancé will be allowed in to see him. We’re going to need to keep him here overnight for some observation, but so far it looks like he’ll be fine with a few dietary changes and lowered stress levels.”

Jyn snorted at that, but he felt her relax next to him. “How long will the tests take?”

“Should be about a half hour, though you know how these things always take longer than you think,” Doctor Kalonia said. “There’s a cafeteria down the hall and to the right if you’d like to get some food or some coffee while you wait.”

They thanked the doctor and Cassian herded Jyn back to the seats. “Do you want coffee or anything?”

She shook her head. “Sorry about the fiancé thing. I just didn’t want them to kick you out.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t say I was your brother,” he deadpanned trying to lighten the mood. She gave him a struggling little smile. “Hey, Jyn, it’s going to be ok. They said he was conscious and he’s in the right place to be taken care of. We’ll see him soon, and you’ll see.”

Jyn looked away but he could see the tears forming in her eyes. “I should call Bodhi. Let him know the update.”

“Sure. Do you want me to go with you or?”

“I’ll just step outside,” she said softly. He wanted to protest, but he knew some things she needed to handle on her own, and Jyn still didn’t like to let anyone see her cry.

“I’ll be here when you get back.”

* * *

“I just need some sleep,” her father said quietly. “I’ll be fine, Stardust. Don’t look so concerned. It was a minor thing.”

“A heart attack is not minor,” she hissed. “You can’t keep up at the pace you’ve been going.”

“Orson,” he started.

“Fuck Orson Krennic,” Jyn hissed.

“Jyn,” he sighed.

“You daughter is just worried about you,” Cassian injected lightly. The last thing they needed was to get in a fight when Galen was supposed to be keeping his stress levels low. “She wants the best for you.”

Her father’s gaze shifted to him and Cassian struggled not to flinch under those too familiar eyes. He should have kept his mouth shut, it wasn’t his place to intrude. “I heard I’ll have a son-in-law soon?”

“I didn’t want them to kick him out,” Jyn jumped in quickly. “They asked if he was family.” She shrugged and grabbed the half full glass of water next to Galen’s bed, turning to refill it.

“I take it that means you two are doing well,” Galen said with a small smile. “Does Bodhi know yet?”

“No,” Jyn said sharply pushing the water into his hands. “You should drink. We’re taking it slow. We don’t need everyone’s expectations on us.”

“It’s been almost four months now, hasn’t it?” her father asked quickly doing the math from the wedding to now and probably mentally tacking on a few weeks since as far as he knew they were already together at the wedding.

“Your point being?” Jyn asked tensed and ready to fight. Cassian dropped his palm to her lower back and pressed his thumb in a comforting circle.

“Bodhi and Luke would start planning a wedding,” Cassian offered. “Han would ask uncomfortable questions about our sex life, Leia would have to know everything and then probably join the wedding party, Kay would try to talk us out of it, and this is after all the betting and the jokes got boring. It’s a lot.”

“But they’d be happy for you,” Galen countered and then frowned. “Except perhaps for this Kay fellow. Did I meet him at the wedding?”

“If you did, you’d still both be there discussing physics,” Jyn snorted. “How did we even get here? This is supposed to be us lecturing you for taking on too much stress.”

“Stardust, I’m fine,” he said again. “If I hadn’t hit my head I wouldn’t have even let them call you.”

Anger rippled through her and he could basically feel it under his palm. “That would have been very stupid,” Cassian interrupted before the argument could really get raging. “How would you like it if Jyn wound up in the hospital and didn’t tell you?”

Galen looked slightly embarrassed. “I just meant I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Papa,” Jyn sighed, and Cassian knew it was an old fight. Galen shutting down and dissolving into his work. Not noticing the hurt little girl that was depending on him or the adult woman who only wanted to help. They were more alike then Jyn wanted to admit.

“I’m really ok,” Galen repeated reaching for her hand, and at least that was something. Cassian debated slipping out of the room and letting them have their moment. Then he caught a flash of white striding down the hallway towards the doorway and straightened up ready for a fight.

“Galen! I came as soon as I heard!”

“Orson,” Galen greeted softly. “I’m fine.”

Cassian tried to subtly position himself between Jyn and Krennic as her body tensed up and her features morphed into a glare. “This is your fault,” she growled.

“Mine?” Krennic asked looked shocked. “Jynnie, my dear girl, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You always demand things faster,” Jyn spat. “They said stress caused the heart attack.”

“Jyn,” Galen started only to be interrupted by Orson.

“Jynnie, I’m just as worried about your father as you are.”

Cassian could practically feel her hackles rise as the air crackled with tension. This was going nowhere good fast and he scrambled for something to diffuse the situation. “The most important thing right now is making sure he gets some rest, right?”

“Oh,” Krennic said with an annoyed upturned snarl to his lip. “You’re here. Isn’t this a family matter?”

“Cassian is more family than you are,” Jyn defended instantly. “We actually want him here.”

“I doubt very much that your father wants your current boy toy lingering in his hospital room,” Orson shot back.

“Jyn, Orson, please,” Galen said trying to sit up more to intervene. He gave a slight groan and Jyn rushed forward trying to ease him back. Cassian side stepped to block Krennic from doing the same. He was fine playing peacekeeper, but Jyn deserved not to have her time with her father taken over once again by this asshole.

“Perhaps we should let Galen get some rest?” Cassian offered. “Come back tomorrow during visitor hours?”

“I’m afraid your fiancé is right,” the nurse said stepping back into the room. Cassian saw Krennic’s eyes go wide and tried not to laugh. “Your father is going to be just fine. You can come back tomorrow and, as long as nothing changes, take him home.”

Jyn gave her father a hug and came back to Cassian’s side pressing into him. He willingly wrapped his arm around her waist and let her slot herself against him. Krennic eyed them and then strode over to Galen giving him some well wishes that sounded almost like threats and clapping him on the shoulder. Cassian waited so that they followed Krennic out of the room instead of the other way around.

“If you want to go back to the city,” Krennic began, “I can come and get your father tomorrow.”

“No thanks,” Jyn answered shortly. “We’ll just stay at Papa’s house tonight. No need for you to do anything else, Mr. Krennic.”

“I suppose,” the man drawled sarcastically, “That congratulations are in order. Although I see he couldn’t afford a ring.”

“It’s being fit,” Cassian covered smoothly. Anyone else he would have told the truth, but he really did hate this man.

The snarl that flashed across the man’s face was worth it. “Yes, well, we all do make mistakes when we’re young. Jynnie, please let me know if you need help tomorrow. All I’ve ever wanted to do was be of assistance to your family.”

“Cassian and I will be fine. We should get going. It’s been a long day. Goodnight, Mr. Krennic.” She tugged his hand and started leading him out of the hospital. He followed willingly. She could probably pull him into oncoming traffic and he’d follow willingly.

* * *

The drive home was mostly quiet, and she appreciated that Cassian didn’t shoot her concerned looks every five minutes like Leia or Bodhi would have. Her phone ringing startled both of them. Glancing at the caller ID she picked up.

“He’s ok, Bodes,” she said soothingly. “Sorry for the shitty messages, but I wanted you to know what was going on.”

“Did you see him? Speak to him?” her brother asked quickly.

“Yes, he’s alive, conscious, and seemingly doing well. Apparently if he hadn’t hit his head, they would have considered it a very minor heart attack. He just needs to keep stress levels low.”

Bodhi snorted. “Easier said than done.”

“Don’t I know it? Krennic was there, pretending to give a shit about his well-being and not just how this would delay his work.”

“Where are you now?”

“Headed to Papa’s. I’m going to stay there so I can bring him home when he’s discharged tomorrow. I already called Baze and Chirruit and they said I could have Monday off so I can stay with him longer.”

“Do you want me to call Luke to come help you? He could probably get off work.”

"No, it’s fine.”

“I don’t want you dealing with this alone, Jyn. I’ve already asked to have my return flight moved up, but I won’t be back till super late tomorrow night at the earliest. I can have Luke come out or call Leia for you?”

“It’s fine,” she said. Jyn bit her lip and glanced at her driver who was carefully pretending he couldn’t hear everything. “Cassian is with me.”

“Cassian? Well, I’m glad someone was around when you got the call. He’s good in a stressful situation.”

“Yeah, he’s been great. He’s going to help me bring Papa home tomorrow too.”

“Are you sure you don’t want Luke to come?”

“No, really Bodes, it’s ok.”

“It must be for you to sound this calm after everything that’s happened, and Krennic throw into the mix.”

The observation startled her. She was calmer than she would normally be. She glanced at Cassian. She was calm because she knew she had help, she didn’t even question it. Cassian had said he wasn’t going anywhere and she believed him. “Yeah,” she said softly. “It’s all going to be ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I spent the entire weekend celebrating May the 4th by rewatching the original three with a friend. We may have gone overboard on the theme with matching socks, pjs, cookies, etc. I can't believe it's over and back to work Monday *cry*


	9. The One With The Sexy Pose

They piled out of the car dirty and exhausted and Cassian wondered again what they had been thinking doing a camping trip for his birthday. To be fair, it hadn’t been his idea, and he was pretty sure they’d been drinking when Han came up with it, which explained the “no girls allowed” rule.

It’d been fun, but honestly after two nights in the wilderness with Kay bitching, Han, Lando, and Chewie drinking, Bodhi and Luke making googily eyes at each other, Kes whining about missing Shara, and him just trying to keep them all alive he was ready to be home. He was also man enough to admit that he might just possibly understand Kes more than he wanted to let on and was missing his own girlfriend. Cassian had gotten used to being in her bed or having her in his, even if it was just for a few stolen hours in the middle of the night. Without revealing their relationship though, there had been no real way for him to make a case for her coming along on the trip. He couldn’t wait to get showered and then sneak into her room in a couple hours. On a Sunday night Leia probably wouldn’t stay up late, and he’d texted Jyn to let her know they were coming back, and that she should let him know when he could come over.

“I’ll help you,” Kay said grabbing a bag out of the trunk.

“You don’t need to,” Cassian argued shaking his head. “You drove us, you shouldn’t have to help us unload. I know you want to get home.”

“It will be faster if I help,” Kay said simply. “Once you and Han are back in your apartment my designated driver duties are over and I can go back to my apartment and enjoy civilization.”

Cassian just shrugged. He’d really rather be done anyway so Kay’s argument was right for once. He grabbed the coolers while Han grabbed the camping supplies and they all lugged everything up the five flights of stairs.

“Where do you want this bag?” Kay asked as Cassian wrestled the front door open.

“Just dump it in my room. I’ll deal with it later.” Cassian headed for the kitchen to take care of what was left of the food and booze. He’d only jammed one beer in the fridge when all hell broke loose.

“Get the fuck out!” Cassian nearly dropped the next beer he was holding. That sounded like Jyn.

“Obviously I do not want to stay,” he heard Kay snap and a door slam shut. Cassian darted back into the living room wondering why Jyn had come over and why she’d gone after Kay that hard. Had he done something to piss her off before they’d left?

Only Jyn wasn’t at the front door and Kay was coming out of his room. Oh no.

“What happened?” Han asked sticking his head out from his own room.

“Jyn was displeased when I walked in on her laying in what was clearly meant to be a seductive position, and completely nude.”

Fuck.

“I assume she is the woman you’ve been fornicating with after all?” Kay asked dryly. “She did not seem intoxicated or like she did not know whose room she was in.”

“Kay.” His brain scrambled for an excuse or a distraction, but he had nothing. Kay wasn’t Han. He wasn’t going to be easily convinced to stay quiet. When Kay had an opinion everyone knew. The only two outcomes of this were Jyn killing Kay or they were finally outed to their friends. If it was the latter he wasn’t sure what would happen, but he very much feared it was Jyn laughing it all off as a joke to avoid the added pressure and expectations of everyone around them. Just the thought of that left him feeling devastated.

“Do I really need to tell you all the reasons this is a terrible idea?” Kay asked sourly. “Obviously it’s too late to stop it, but you could at least alleviate some of the damage. Jyn is not a suitable match for you.”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jyn roared coming out of his room dressed in one of his old college shirts that fell about mid-thigh on her and a pair of his boxers.

“More often than not, it’s you.”

“How does me and Cassian having sex have any bearing on you whatsoever?” she demanded.

“Cassian is my friend,” Kay shot back.

“Yeah, well he’s my friend too.”

“The difference being I don’t want to see him get hurt and you _clearly_ don’t care.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked marching up to Kay’s looming form. Cassian got the brief mental image of a hissing cat trying to face down a great dane and shook it away.

“It means you evidently place your own sexual satisfaction higher than a friend’s wellbeing.”

“He doesn’t look particularly damaged to me,” Jyn yelled gesturing towards Cassian.

“Not yet, obviously,” Kay snapped back.

“Guys,” Cassian said trying to intervene and calm the situation, but the matching glares he got in response gave him pause.

“If you will not protect yourself then someone else will have to say it on your behalf,” Kay argued.

“And if you’re about to defend this overstepping asshole, I wouldn’t,” Jyn added.

“It’s not an overstep to point out the obvious,” Kay stated prissily. “It is a fact that you use sexual partners as a means to an end. It is also a fact that Cassian does not.”

“Cassian has had one night stands that beg to differ.”

“One night stands are not you. One night stands are an attractive woman at a bar he’ll never see again. One night stands are not a friend of many years that he already has an emotional investment in. There is no way Cassian is sleeping with you and doesn’t have the heightened emotional attachments to match. So when you inevitably decide you’ve had enough, you will hurt him and send discord throughout our entire social circle, all because you were tired of not getting off. If you were this displeased with your sexual exploits you should have invested in a vibrator, not treated a friend like one.”

“Fuck you,” Jyn ground out, but Cassian was distressed to note her voice sounded dangerously near to cracking.

“Kay,” Han said softly. “Maybe don’t-”

“Don’t what? Don’t bring this farce to its inevitable conclusion before they make it even worse? Jyn is using him, and it is unfair. Cassian is the one who will lose everything in the end. Jyn has blood relations with Bodhi, who is now married to Luke, who has blood relations with Leia, who is dating you. It’s obvious who will be excommunicated from the social circle. And for what? Jyn Erso isn’t worth it.”

“Kay,” Cassian barked well and truly pissed now, “Enough.”

“You’re angry, but I’m still right.”

“You’re not,” Jyn hissed. “I would never do that to Cassian.”

“Every bit of history would indicate otherwise,” Kay said nastily. “What makes you think this is different?”

“Because I’ve never been in love before,” Jyn snarled. The room went silent, and Cassian swore he stopped breathing. Jyn’s jaw locked up and she turned away from Kay to look at Cassian and then in a choked off voice forced out, “I love you.” The world stopped along with his heart for a moment, and then Jyn started to cry.

He was across the room before he even registered he was going to move, pulling her into his arms and feeling her fingers dig into his shirt as she buried her face into his chest. It took him a moment to realize she was sobbing out apologies.

“Jyn,” he soothed tilting her face back in his hands and brushing tears away with his thumbs. “What in the world are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t mean to use you,” she sniffed. “I really didn’t. And I know this isn’t what you signed up for. I know I wasn’t supposed to make it serious. I know I’m difficult and I might fuck it all up, and then Kay is right everyone is going to take my side because they think they have to. And you’ll just accept it, because you’re an idiot who doesn’t think he deserves good things. I should have never suggested. Should have never made you.”

“Jyn, stop,” he said dropping a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too.”

“You do?” she asked incredulously.

He let out an aborted little laugh. “Yes, I love you. And if you love me back then there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“But I’m a fuck up,” she said sniffing. “Weren’t you just listening to Kay?”

This time he truly did laugh. “Jyn, you’re fucking terrible with talking about your emotions, you have no clue how to have a long term relationship, and you’re the most skittish person I’ve ever met when it comes to commitment, but you’re also smart, and beautiful, and funny, and fierce, and loyal, and braver than I’ll ever be, and everything I want if you’re willing to take the chance on me. I love you.”

She reached up and tugged on his neck, dragging him down to kiss her. He could taste the salt of her tears and he simply kissed her harder, hoping that would clarify anything his words couldn’t.

Kay cleared his throat and they broke apart, although Jyn clutched at Cassian tighter before sending his friend a glare.

“What now?” Jyn demanded. He could feel her shaking under his hands, and for once Kay better watch his mouth because Cassian wasn’t going to tolerate him making her cry again.

“It appears my calculations were off,” Kay said simply. “I did not realize you both were in love. I thought this was an agreement of sexual convenience.”

“So what? Now you approve?”

“Not really,” Kay said with a shrug. “But I have no data to properly evaluate the current situation and thus my opinions are merely personal and not based on sound reasoning. The only factual evidence I can operate on is the fact that I have never heard you declare love for any past sexual partners and have only ever observed extreme reluctance on your part to admit any sort of emotional attachment. To do so now implies that you truly mean it. While I personally think Cassian could pick a better suited mate, if you both love each other then there is nothing for me to do but hope it doesn’t end in mutual disaster. Although I believe the probability of that is high. Very high.”

“Shit, man,” Han said harshly. “You really are a robot. Would you let the two idiots be happy?”

“If this fails you will play a supporting role in helping Jyn through her emotionally unstable state,” Kay said dryly. “As noted, if this fails I will be the only one to remain by Cassian’s side and thus have to be his key pillar of support. It will be quite exhausting.”

Jyn snorted a laugh into Cassian’s shirt. “Pity for Cassian.”

“What I am trying to say,” Kay said with a glare. “Is that you are now not allowed to fall out of love with him as it would be very inconvenient for me.”

“Kay,” Cassian sighed.

“I won’t,” Jyn cut in. Her fingers curled tighter in his t-shirt and he felt warmth flood his chest. “If only to avoid how annoying you would be.”

Kay shrugged. “I am fine with that being a motivating factor. I assume the fact that Han Solo is not throwing a fit or making lewd comments is a sign that he was already aware of this.”

“Yeah and Andor owes me money now.”

“Kay wouldn’t have taken that bet about whether or not we were together anyway. He doesn’t gamble and you know it,” Cassian argued.

“Yeah, but he’s going to go immediately tell everyone how much he disapproves, which will ruin my chances of making money off of anyone.”

“I don’t care to tell anyone anything,” Kay said indignantly. “Jyn has professed her love and is more likely to stay confident in that decision the less those close to her question it. Why would I tell anyone anything? Besides it is statistically unlikely that anyone will take that bet now. Everyone knows that they are both individually sleeping with someone. It would be odd for you to make that bet without having insider information that the ‘someone’ was each other. As you are Cassian’s roommate it is likely you would have some proof, since you often make rigged bets in your favor.”

“I hate our friends,” Jyn murmured. He gave a soft huff of laughter and kissed her head. He still wasn’t positive he was awake. That she was really in his arms after saying she loved him. That he just maybe got to keep her, keep this. He was almost unbearably happy and wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.

Han stood glaring at Kay. “That isn’t true.” He looked at Cassian for backup and Cassian just shrugged. “You owe me money then.”

Cassian laughed. “I don’t owe you money if no one is stupid enough to take your bet.”

“Then I’m outing you,” Han said triumphantly. “Pay up.”

Cassian was about to fight him when Jyn interrupted. “Go ahead.”

He looked down at her in surprise, but she didn’t acknowledge him, staring challengingly at Han.

“You think I won’t?” Han asked lifting an eyebrow.

Jyn shrugged. “Your funeral.”

His eyes narrowed. “How do you figure?”

“Leia is going to want to know everything,” Jyn said easily. “Which means I’ll have to tell her about all the romantic shit Cassian does like letting me drink his good liquor, and reading my favorite books just so he can discuss them with me, and how he stayed with me and Papa for like a week after the heart attack and did all the chores and errands – even picking up Papa’s meds, and how he always cooks for me, and how he’s good at washing hair and back rubs.”

“Fuck you’re whipped, man,” Han laughed.

“Point is,” Jyn said not backing down an inch. “You tell Leia, Leia asks me, and suddenly you’ll be getting hell forever about ‘why can’t you be more like Cassian?’ and ‘why don’t you do things for me like Cassian does for Jyn?’” Han went white and Kay cocked his head looking at Jyn thoughtfully. “And frankly the quicker this gets out the quicker we take our relationship to the next level. How pissed do you think Leia is going to be when Cassian inevitably tries to move in with me sooner than you do with her after being together for a way shorter amount of time?”

Han glared at them. “I’m not a bad boyfriend.”

“Cassian is better,” Jyn said with a shrug.

“Fine,” Han spat. “I’ll keep your stupid secret. For now. But you both owe me.” Then he stormed off to his room and slammed the door.

“Interesting,” Kay said.

“What,” Jyn spat.

“I had always assumed your more negative qualities would rub off on Cassian, not that you would pick up some of his better qualities.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It seems you have picked up some of Cassian’s self-restraint and skills for manipulation,” Kay analyzed. “It was,” Kay paused for a moment. “Clever. And more effective than punching him would have been.”

“Was that a compliment?” Jyn asked.

“A simple observation,” Kay said with a half shrug. “Solo will eventually be compromised.”

Jyn sighed and leaned back into Cassian’s chest. “Probably, but nothing we can do about that.”

“You could kill him,” Kay said simply.

Jyn barked out a laugh. “I’ve got to admit I don’t hate the way you think.”

“Was that a compliment?” Kay snarked back.

“Nope, stopping this right now,” Cassian said with a small smile. “You two are absolutely not allowed to get along. The world isn’t ready for the destruction that would ensue.”

“There is no need for concern,” Kay said simply. “I will still remain firmly within your social circle, Cassian. However, I assume I am to prioritize alliances with your girlfriend over those with your roommate?”

“Obviously,” Jyn said before Cassian could say anything to that inanity.

Kay gave a brief acknowledging nod. “Very well. With that established I am going home. I will also never go camping again even in celebration of your birth. It was miserable.”

“Noted, Kay,” Cassian said with a laugh. “Thank you for your sacrifice.” The taller man grumbled, but headed for the door without further commentary.

An awkward silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of Han banging around his room still clearly annoyed. “Hey,” he said quietly drawing Jyn’s attention back up and to him.

“Happy birthday,” Jyn said softly.

“You really mean it?” They both knew he wasn’t talking about the birthday wishes.

She flushed and tucked her head back into his chest. “Yeah. Is that ok?”

“Like I said, better than ok,” he answered backing up so he could drop his forehead down against hers. “I wanted to say it for ages, but I thought it’d make you bolt.”

Jyn glanced up at him and then ducked her head again tucking it under his chin. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Just be you and want me,” he said softly. “We’ll figure everything else out.”

A few moments passed in silence and he was content to just hold her. “Cassian?”

“Yeah?”

“So I was planning on birthday sex,” she started and he laughed.

“I figured from how Kay found you.”

“Yeah, but I’m kind of glad he did.”

“What, why?”

“Because you smell awful,” she quipped. “Want to shower first?”

He grinned and pulled her into a tight bear hug as she squeaked out a protest. “You don’t like men that smell of the woods and survival?”

She struggled feebly in his arms, no question that she could have gotten away from him if she wanted to. “Survival smells like shit. I prefer success.”

“Want to help me get the hard to reach spots?”

“No fucking in the shower!” Han yelled through his door.

“Like you don’t jack off in there all the time,” Jyn shouted back. “And the jokes on you because we already have.” Then she made a face. “Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m grossed out that we have. How often do you clean your shower?”

Cassian frowned as he thought about the last time he’d pressed her up against the shower wall and fucked her. The last thing he wanted to think about was Han’s semen anywhere near Jyn’s body. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll meet you in the bedroom?”

“Much better plan.”

“Oh, and Jyn?” She paused at his bedroom door. “I don’t want whatever pose you had planned wasted on Kay. Recreate it.”

“Idiot,” she laughed, but she also shot him a saucy smile before disappearing into his room. Cassian discovered that he was grinning like an idiot. It was his birthday, and Jyn was in love with him, it didn’t get much better than that.

* * *

Cassian shifted in his sleep, his hair falling more into his eyes. She should really go instead of laying here staring at him like a lovesick teenager. He was going to wake up and find her staring and take back all the lovely sentiments from last night. Cassian Andor loved her. The thought made her giddy, which was ridiculous. She should be reigning herself in, not getting in deeper. Long experience said good things don’t last. But he said he would stay and she believed he wanted to. Then again her mother hadn’t wanted to go either. Jyn pushed that thought away. If she could just stay in the present, block out all the ways it could go wrong in the future she’d be ok. And they could keep going their own speed. Cassian wouldn’t push her and Leia and Bodhi still didn’t know. She didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do. And right now all she wanted to do was lay here and stare at him. Pathetic.

He must have sensed her even unconscious because his eyes fluttered open and instantly locked on her. A soft smile stole across his face. “What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think something is wrong?”

His hand came up and his thumb pressed down on the crease between her eyebrows and she realized she was frowning. She relaxed her face and his hand traced down over her cheek to her jaw. “Regretting it?”

“No,” she said quickly. She didn’t want him thinking that. “I was just debating how late I could push laying here before I had to get up and sneak back over to my apartment and my terrible cold bed.”

Cassian snorted and shot out an arm throwing it over her waist and pulling her closer. “Just stay. You’ve slept through Leia getting ready for work before, it’s not like she’s going to check your room. When do you have to be at the gym? You can just get ready here and grab your stuff when she’s gone.”

It wasn’t a terrible plan, and she didn’t need to be at the gym till 11. Staying here curled up in the warmth of his bed and his arms seemed much more appealing than slipping back over to her own apartment at this ungodly hour of the morning. Still, it was no good for him to think he could sway her that easily. “I don’t know. Not sure it’s worth hearing Han bitch about me being here and getting in the way of his morning routine.”

“Not worth it? Spending time with me isn’t worth Han bitching?” Cassian demanded in fake outrage.

“I mean you’re great and everything, but Han is really annoying.”

“I’ll just have to up the stakes then,” he said playfully. “Stay and I’ll eat you out.”

And she wondered if her body would always react to him like this, instantly turned on and ready to go. Just the thought of the things he could do to her with his mouth always made her squirm. His tongue sliding over her cunt was now her go-to fantasy whenever they couldn’t be together. “It’s your birthday. Shouldn’t you be the one being treated?”

“You underestimate how much I enjoy going down on you,” he answered with a grin. “Besides you already treated me quite well last night. So? What’s it going to be?”

Jyn turned away from him and gave an overdramatic sigh. “I supposed if you want to so badly.”

His hands slipped down her body and bunched the shirt she was wearing up around her hips before one arm shoved the covers off of them both. Her nipples immediately hardened both from anticipation and the cold air rushing over her. Cassian’s reached down to cup her and she pressed down into his hand.

“I love how fast you get wet for me,” Cassian said kissing her jawline. His fingers thrust into her aggressively filling the room with the sound of how wet she was. He crooked them right over her sweet spot and she gave him a breathy little sigh to accompany the sound.

Cassian moved down and started swirling his tongue right around her clit keying up her anticipation and creating that “almost there” sensation that always drove her absolutely mad. Jyn dug her fingers into the sheets and let her eyes slip shut enjoying the feeling. Cassian adjusted and dragged one of her legs over his shoulder giving him a new angle that was just as pleasant as the last one.

“I love you,” she said softly. His free hand dug into the flesh of her ass and pulled her tighter to his mouth. This was good, this was perfect. If she could just stay in the moment, live in the present and not worry about what was to come maybe everything would turn out ok. Cassian’s tongue finally slid over her clit in one slow solid stroke and her nerves lit up and pushed any welling anxiety away. She could already tell he was going to take it slow and drag this out, and who was she to complain? This was by far better than sneaking back to her cold empty bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm leaving for a week's vacation in Mexico City starting this coming Saturday! I honestly am not sure if I'll be able to post on time, so please forgive me if we don't have an update next week. If you've been to CDMX please feel free to give me suggestions!


	10. The One Where Cassian Goes Out of Town for Business

“Two more weeks? Seriously?” Jyn asked, and no she was not whining. Jyn did not whine.

“Sorry,” Cassian’s voice said over the line, and she could hear the exhaustion in his tone. The last thing he probably wanted right now was a needy girlfriend. “The senator needs me here, it’s been busy.” Which knowing Cassian was the understatement of the century.

“They’re working you too hard.”

“It’s an important bill,” Cassian defended.

“I know,” she answered petulantly. “But you’re important too.” Fuck, when had she gotten this mushy? Still, Cassian wasn’t one to look out for himself, and someone needed too. His bosses certainly wouldn’t as long as they were getting what they wanted. She liked Leia’s father, but work was work. And why Leia got to work from here and Cassian had to go to DC for such a long time she didn’t know, and she didn’t care. She could privately admit she’d spent the last week and a half being a little resentful, petty, and irritable whenever her roommate was around.

“I’m fine, Jyn.”

“You’d say that even if you had 3 minutes to live while you bled out on some terrible bus terminal floor.”

Cassian gave a soft huff of amusement. “Why exactly am I bleeding out on a bus terminal floor?”

“Because you’re too poor to fly, and I imagine that’s where some disgruntled white boy with a gun finds you and tries to take you out after you pass some bill that he doesn’t like because of _Atlas Shrugged_ or some stupid shit.”

“Jyn,” he said, and it was supposed to be a reprimand, but she could hear the laughter in his voice. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“It only takes one whackjob,” Jyn countered.

“Well, I promise to call and say, ‘I’m bleeding out and definitely not fine,’ if that happens,” Cassian joked.

“Liar. You’d never.”

“To be fair, I’d probably call 911 first.”

“I miss you,” Jyn sighed dumping her bag as she entered her apartment and headed straight for her room. She was tired from a day packed with personal training sessions, and since Cassian was still away, and Leia clearly must be over at Han’s, there was really no point in staying awake longer than she had to. She pushed her bedroom door open just enough to slide through, didn’t bother with the light, and collapse on her bed.

“It’s only two more weeks,” Cassian said softly. “It’s important.”

“Yeah, well it usually is when you have a boyfriend trying to save the world by any means necessary.”

“Are you angry?”

She paused before answering, trying to be honest when her gut instinct was to deny and run. “Not at you.”

“But you are angry?”

“I don’t know. I’m angry at the situation I guess.”

“I’ve gone out of town for extended periods before.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t dating then,” Jyn groused. “I got used to crawling into your bed, sue me.”

“It’s yours if you want it,” he offered.

“Shockingly enough it’s not the same without you in it.” And she certainly wasn’t going to flat out admit that she’d already snuck into his bed one night a few days ago thinking it might help. “Maybe I could come visit?” she asked trying to say it with a confidence she didn’t feel.

“I’m staying in a shit room off Airbnb, and on any given day I’m up by four and not back till like 11 at best, shaking down lobbyists and trying to change senators’ votes in our favor.”

“It’s 10 now,” Jyn said pulling her phone away to look at the time.

“Yeah, early night,” Cassian said, “Which is why you got a phone call instead of a hastily written text. Jyn, it’s not that I don’t want you here, but-”

“But _the cause_ ,” Jyn said rolling her eyes and trying not to feel rejected. “I know.”

“I just don’t want you to come down here to sit alone in a crappy room waiting for me.”

“First of all,” Jyn started, “the fact that you think I’d sit in that room and pine for you is ridiculous. I’m capable of sightseeing on my own. Second, that schedule still gives us like a five hour window to fuck.”

He laughed and she grinned victoriously at the sound. “I think I’d be disappointing to you. I’m usually asleep the second I get in bed.”

“Wow,” Jyn said. “People always talk about how sex dies out in long-term relationships, but already?”

“Don’t take it personally. If I had enough energy to get it up, I’d still only want you.”

“You know how to flatter a girl,” Jyn teased. “Are you home?”

“You mean to my shitty room with some sort of mold growing in the corner that’s probably going to give me the Black Death? Yeah.”

Jyn bit her lip. She’d never really attempted this before, but what the hell. She missed him in more ways than one. “So what are you wearing?”

“A button down and slacks,” Cassian said confused. “Why?”

“Because it helps me visualize unbuttoning your shirt and running my tongue down from your collarbone to your stomach,” Jyn said grinning into the dark of her room. “Wanna know what I’m wearing?”

“Is it nothing?” he asked with a snort. “I’m not sure I’m a phone sex guy, Jyn.”

“Jokes on you,” she said ignoring his second comment. “I’m in jeans and a hoodie. Mainly because you haven’t taken anything off of me yet.”

“Jyn.”

“That’s fine though,” she said pushing ahead stubbornly. “I don’t need to be naked to get you naked. Unbutton your shirt, Cassian.” He sighed. “You won’t let me come visit so you’re going to have to humor me. Shirt off.”

She heard a shuffle on the other end of the line. “Done. Happy?”

“Happier,” Jyn answered easily. “I want to touch you everywhere. Bite your hip. Run my tongue over your abdomen and make you make that little gasping noise you do when you know I’m going to suck you off until you can’t see straight.”

He made a slightly strangled little noise on the other end at that and she smiled. “Not quite, but I’ll take it. I want you out of those pants next. I want to feel you getting hard under my hand. I miss your cock so much, Cassian. I want to feel you hard and hot and wanting me.”

“As much as I like the sentiment here,” Cassian started sounding a little strained. “This place is a shit hole and the walls are thin.”

“That’s ok,” Jyn encouraged. “Just take off your pants and boxers and get comfortable. I’ll take care of you. You just have to lay back and think of my hot wet mouth kissing the head of your cock and swallowing you down.”

Cassian cursed on the other end and Jyn reveled in it. There was nothing she liked more than making him lose his legendary cool. “I can taste you,” she continued. “The saltiness of your precum on my lips as I slide between your legs. Are your pants off?”

“Yes,” he groaned quietly.

“I want you to touch yourself, Cassian. I want you to touch yourself and think of me kneeling between your legs ready to lick you from the base of your cock to its head. Touching your shaft and making you shiver. I can feel your fingers digging into my hair. I love it when you do that. When you struggle not to force me down on your cock.”

Cassian was breathing heavier on the other end and she pressed her thighs together at the sound. “Always such a gentleman. Which is fine, because I plan on swallowing you down anyway. Are you touching yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Can you feel my hot breath on your skin?” He made a little noise that could have been a confirmation. “Fuck, Cassian, you’re making me so wet. I want to be touched too. Can I? Can I touch myself while you fuck my mouth?”

The next curse was in Spanish and sounded positively filthy. “Please.”

“You want me to touch myself, Cassian?” She’d already trapped the phone between her shoulder and her ear and was wiggling her jeans and underwear off. “I need you to give me permission.”

“Yes, _please_ , Jyn. I want to hear your fingers sliding in and out of your wet pussy.”

“That’s my boy,” she cooed quick to follow directions. She gave a little gasp as she touched herself and found she hadn’t been lying in the least.

“Jyn?”

“It feels so good,” she admitted sliding her fingers through her slick and over her clit. “I’m going to put the phone down so you can hear how much I want you. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” he growled and she slid the hand holding her phone down to hover over her hips as she shoved two fingers inside herself, which made wet noises as she thrust. Fuck, she was so wet and ready. She wished he was here to eat her out. She carried on for a moment before bringing the phone back up to her ear and listening to him pant on the other side.

“Did you hear how wet I am for you?”

“Yes, fuck Jyn, I want to be there. Want to lick your sweet cunt. Want to make you come.”

“I thought you were too tired for that,” she teased.

“Yeah, well I’ve been wrong before.”

She gave a happy little giggle that were he anyone else she’d be embarrassed by. “Are you still touching yourself?”

“Obviously.”

“I thought I wanted to suck you until you came, but I think I’d rather ride you,” she said. “I want you inside of me so badly. My fingers aren’t enough. Can I ride you, Cassian?”

“I would like that,” he murmured. “Want you here. Want to sink into you and make you moan. Jyn, you’re the prettiest when you’re moaning underneath me. I love the way your body flushes and your eyes get dark. Sometimes I still think I’m dreaming when we’re together.”

She reached for her side drawer and the vibrator inside. “Cass, I’m going to turn my vibrator on and push it inside me nice and slow. I’m going to think about your hard perfect cock and how it fits inside me. I want to come together. Can you do that for me?”

He groaned. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll last.”

“Me neither,” she said. “Once you’re inside me I want it to be hard and fast.” She positioned the vibrator and waited a beat. “The tip is going in, Cass. You’re sliding into me so slow and good. Fuck, I’ve wanted this for days. Can’t stop thinking about sinking down on to you until I reach your base. Want my pussy pressed up against you so there’s no room between us. I want your dick kissing me so deep inside. It feels so good. You’re sliding home so perfectly. Can you feel it? Can you feel me?”

“Yes. So hot, and tight, and good.”

“Fuck me, Cassian. Fuck me hard.” She thrust the vibrator in and out and listened to his harsh breathing on the other end, imagining him touching himself, tightening up in anticipation. He whined her name and she shivered. “Come on, Cassian, come with me. I want to hear you come. Want to feel you shoot your cum in me.”

“I love coming inside you,” he panted. “Love the way you squeeze me dry. Love you so much.”

“I love it too,” Jyn answered riding closer to her own orgasm. “Love the way you say my name when you come. Fuck, Cassian. Love you. Love you so much.”

That’s what pushed him over the edge. She could hear him come with a groan and she toggled the vibrator up to the next intensity and came moaning his name. She was jerked out of the post-coital haze by a loud clatter from the living room and a string of curses.

“I have to go,” she said curtly, hearing the start of a question on the other end as she hung up. She shot up, tossing the vibrator away, and grabbing pajama bottoms thrown haphazardly across the bed and jerking them up. She hesitated for a split second before entering the living room and glancing around to find a very flustered looking Leia standing guiltily by the door and looking unsure what to do. “How long have you been here?”

“I got ice cream,” Leia said trying to collect herself and gesturing towards the kitchen where Jyn spotted an abandoned grocery bag on the table. “I was going to ask why you were in such a pissy mood and pry until I got answers. I figured you’d broken up with the mystery dude.”

“I thought you were at Han’s,” Jyn said stupidly.

Leia snorted a little. “Clearly.”

“How much did you hear?” Jyn demanded. She could hear her phone buzzing in her room and ignored it. It was certainly Cassian calling back to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

“More than I wanted. I was trying to leave,” Leia answered clearly starting to regain control of herself. She gave a small little smile and crossed her arms. “So it’s been Cassian all this time?”

“Leia.”

“I admit I’m feeling a little stupid for not figuring it out earlier. Especially with Cassian’s ‘secret project’ that was always making him skip out on work early. Do you know I caught him humming the other day at the office? I thought I was hallucinating. Never would have pegged him for a phone sex guy either.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Jyn said uncomfortably. She didn’t mind telling Leia raunchy stories about previous lays, but with Cassian it was different.

Leia lifted a skeptical eyebrow at her. “You always scream ‘I love you’ when you come?”

“Shut up.”

Leia softened and smiled. “Jyn, I’m surprised but happy for you. It weirdly makes sense, the two of you. Cassian’s good at backing you up and grounding you and you’re good at making him take everything a little less seriously and look after himself. I should have seen it coming, but you two have spent so many years being just friends and chasing partners the complete opposite of each other I guess I bought it. What I don’t get is why hide it?”

Jyn shrugged uncomfortably. “At first it wasn’t serious. We were just fooling around.” Leia rolled her eyes. “We were,” Jyn stressed. “But it was really good, and suddenly it wasn’t casual and then…”

“You fell in love,” Leia supplied.

Jyn frowned. “You make it sound so mushy and gross.”

“It’s romantic, you moron,” Leia corrected. “But why hide it now?”

“We just weren’t ready for,” Jyn sighed. “For this. For all of you going on about it and making predictions and bets and everything else that was sure to happen. I thought he’d think better of it when everyone started pointing out my faults.”

“Jyn,” Leia chastised crossing the room and hesitating in front of her. “I’d hug you, but I’m a little uncomfortable knowing you just came. The point is, we all give each other a hard time because we’re friends, but we wouldn’t be friends with you if we didn’t think you’re awesome. Cassian is insanely lucky if you’re in love with him. And frankly you’re lucky if he loves you back. Everyone is going to be thrilled. When are you telling them?” Jyn shifted and looked away. “Jyn Erso. I am not the last person finding out, am I?”

“No,” Jyn sighed. “Han walked in on us.”

“How in the hell did you get him to keep his mouth shut?”

“Cassian played him.”

Leia snorted. “Of course he did. So just Han?”

“And Kay. He may have walked in on me in a compromising position.”

“Jesus, you guys really suck at discretion,” Leia laughed. “You’re like rabbits. What about Bodhi? He walk in on you two yet or are you just waiting to scar him for life?”

“Bodhi and Luke don’t know,” Jyn said shaking her head. “Just Han and Kay. And well you.”

“Go call your boyfriend back and take a shower, Erso,” Leia said with a laugh. “I’m going to save the ice cream and when you’re out we’re going to eat it and you’re going to tell me everything. Tell Cassian I’m delighted for you both, but he better have his head in the game down in DC and help my father win.” With that declaration Leia headed towards the kitchen clearly not even questioning whether her orders would be followed or not.

Jyn hesitated for a moment before heading back to her room to find Cassian calling again. “Hey.”

“Are you ok? What happened?”

“Leia came home,” she said softly. “I didn’t hear her.”

“Oh. How much did she hear?”

“Enough,” Jyn sighed. “She’d like to pass along congratulations, but remind you that you also have a job to do.”

Cassian laughed. “Sounds like Leia. Are you ok?”

“I mean she ruined the good hazy lazy feeling you get after you cum,” Jyn said. “Which pisses me off. It was a good orgasm.”

“Well, if you’re up late tomorrow night I have discovered I am a phone sex guy after all and am in fact not too tired to get hard.”

Jyn grinned. “It’s a date, but tomorrow we Facetime. You’re sure I won’t disrupt your focus?”

“I think I can handle it. You can handle Leia?”

“I’ll be ok,” Jyn answered. “Just hurry up and get this stupid bill passed and come home.”

“Yes, sir,” Cassian said with a smile in his tone. “I love you, Jyn.”

“Love you too,” she said and delighted in the words. Whoever thought she’d be able to say them so easily, and to Cassian of all people. “Get some rest. I’m not going to go easy on you tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it,” he said, and the growl in his voice made her shiver. “Bye.” The phone disconnected. Fuck, she loved this man.

Jyn bolted for the shower and washed quickly, ready to get this reckoning over with. She switched into her comfy pajamas and headed back to the kitchen.

Leia shoved a pint of ice cream at her with a spoon. “So now that I know you’re not pissed at me…”

“I am pissed at you,” Jyn argued. “It’s not fair that you get to stay here and Cassian has to go to D.C.”

Leia scoffed. “You’re an idiot. You can’t honestly blame me for that.”

“Sure, I can,” Jyn said popping the top off her ice cream. “I’m petty like that.”

“Liar,” Leia argued. “You put on a good show, but you know you’re proud of him fighting the good fight.”

“Whatever, you’re all delusional if you think you’re going to win against all those wealthy fuckers corrupting politics for their own gain. The will of the people is dead.”

“Which is why you volunteer to do coding for us and build our computer security protocols in your free time.”

“Shut your mouth, I have an image to preserve.”

“You could just come work with us,” Leia offered. “Think of all the fun things you could talk Cassian into in the office.”

“He wouldn’t stand a chance.” Jyn grinned at her own memory of what a pathetic fight he’d put up the last time she’d visited him in the office, but didn’t say anything more.

“I could have you an offer tomorrow.”

“Stop trying to recruit me. I should have known you’d just use Cassian to try to persuade me.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying,” Leia said easily. “So, when did you start sleeping together?”

“Bodhi and Luke’s wedding.”

Leia let out a little shriek. “That long?” Jyn gave her a half shrug and dug into her ice cream for a distraction. “Oh my god, this is because we made you switch rooms. You’re thriving love life is all thanks to me and Han.”

“More like Orson Krennic. And you still owe us for that.”

“Krennic? What’s that creep have to do with anything?”

“He was pissing me off, so I kissed Cassian to piss him off.”

“You’re such a child.”

“It was effective.”

“So you kiss Cassian and then what? Realize you’ve had pent up emotions all this time and been pining for each other while feeling like neither of you could make a move for fear of risking your friendship?”

“Wow, Leia, presume much?” Jyn asked frowning. “We were not pining. Honestly it surprised us as much as it has surprised all of you. It was supposed to be a one night thing. I was feeling out of sorts and kissing Cassian felt good so I just figured what the hell.”

“And Cassian just went along with it?” Leia asked skeptically. “He’s usually got more sense then that, but I suppose it was you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on,” Leia said waving her hand as if to brush the comment away. “Cassian has always had a soft spot for you. Whenever any of us want him to do something he otherwise wouldn’t do, we always know to get you onboard first. How do you think we got him to karaoke that one time? Or that time Bodhi wanted us to group cosplay at comic con? You think we would have ever gotten Cassian into that Hawkeye costume if you hadn’t agreed to Bodhi’s begging you to be Black Widow? You’re delusional.”

“Whatever,” Jyn said fighting down a blush. “Cassian isn’t that hard to convince.”

“I bet he’s even easier to convince now,” Leia smirked.

“You’d think, but as you can see he’s still down in D.C.”

“Wow, so bitter. When are you going to tell Bodhi and can I be there?”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“He’ll be happy for you both once he starts breathing again.”

“I know, and then he’ll get too intense about it and start shipping us, which will be even weirder,” Jyn sighed.

A knock interrupted them and Han walked in a moment later. “Are you not coming over then?”

“Later,” Leia dismissed.

“You think I’m waiting around all night for you? I’ve got things to do, princess.”

“Oh, what? Playing video games with Chewie or hanging out at the bar? By all means.”

“What are you two even doing? Sitting around eating ice cream? What you both got your periods or something?”

“You’re an idiot, and I don’t know what I see in you.”

“Charm and dashing good looks to start.”

“Oh, just go,” Jyn said. “I hate watching your weird mating rituals.”

“Oh, because I love walking in on your phone sex. Speaking of,” Leia said turning on him again. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Jyn and Cassian were hooking up.”

“You know?”

“Yeah,” Leia said. “Jyn’s loud on the phone and doesn’t know how to properly close her door.”

“I thought you were at Han’s!”

“Good, now they can split their time here, and you can get the floor show, and I can sleep.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“They asked me not to, and I’m a good friend.”

“Bullshit.”

“Cassian convinced him he’d be able to make money creating a bet with insider info when we were ready.”

“I love that man.”

“Hey!” Han yelled.

“What?” Leia asked innocently.

“Jyn, aren’t you going to kill her for trying to take your man?”

“She could try,” Jyn laughed. “He really likes me.”

“Awwww, look how confident she is.”

“Yeah, well she should be,” Han said stealing Leia’s spoon and digging into the ice cream. “You should see how stupid he is over her. You can always tell when it’s her texting because of this doofy ass look he gets on his face.”

“Cassian Andor does not allow doofy ass looks to cross his face,” Leia defended.

“Prepare yourself for being in the know then. It’s awful,” Han said sounding like Kay.

“We’re not that bad,” Jyn defended.

“They’re terrible,” Han countered. “Make me want to gouge my eyes out. Had to drag him away from a jewelry store window the other day looking at rings.”

Jyn nearly choked on her ice cream. It was Leia who got out the strangled, “What?”

“You’ll be shooting out little Cassians in no time,” Han said with a shrug. “It’ll be almost as gross as Kes and Shara. Actually you might be grosser, because I expected better.”

“You’re full of shit,” Jyn accused.

“No, you’re definitely grosser.”

“Cassian was not looking at rings.”

“Han,” Leia said warningly.

“Yeah, well he was either doing that or thinking about a jewelry heist.”

Jyn felt her chest close up. Sure, she was in love, but marriage? That was death do us part bullshit. They hadn’t even told Bodhi. How could he be thinking about marriage? They were what, about five months into this?

“Jyn?” Leia’s voice sounded like it came from far away. “Are you ok?”

“Fine,” Jyn lied. “I’m fine.”

“Kid?”

“Just fine. I’m going to go to bed now.” Jyn stood up and headed for her bedroom abandoning the ice cream and her spoon. Leia would get it. She just wanted to be alone. What the fuck could he be thinking? People didn’t have secret hidden relationships and then leap to marriage the second someone said I love you. Do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, sorry I missed last Monday, but you all have to go to Mexico City immediately! It is such a wonderful city with great museums, food, and culture. If you're thinking about it and on the fence I demand that you go hahaha. Anyway, hope you all didn't miss me too much and my American friends are enjoying their Memorial Day off!


	11. The One With the Engagement

“You’re being weird again.”

“You’re being paranoid again,” Jyn argued, continuing to stare out the window.

Cassian sighed next to her and shifted in his seat. He was clearly unhappy, but Jyn didn’t know what to do to make it better. He’d gotten back to the city two days before Thanksgiving, and now they were on their way to her father’s for the holiday and it was all so awkward. She’d avoided taking another call from him with various excuses while he was gone and stuck to texting where it was so much easier to pretend everything was ok. She wasn’t sure how to say, “I love you, but I can’t marry you.” Especially when he hadn’t even asked.

The next half hour was spent in silence, and Jyn knew Cassian was upset with her, but he was also confused and not willing to say anything until he knew what was going on. Cassian always did full reconnaissance before approaching a problem. She focused on the passing scenery out the window.

“We’re the next stop.”

“Yeah,” she said glancing over. He was handsome, and smart, and cared about her. Why couldn’t she just say yes? The thought made her heart pick up the pace and her chest feel tight. She just wasn’t ready to marry him, nor was she ready to let him go. What was she going to do?

“Jyn are you sure you’re ok?”

“Totally fine.” She gave him a casual shrug and stood up to get her bag. Cassian grabbed his own and followed her off the train. Bodhi and Luke had gotten out here the day before so they were scheduled to pick them up, and Jyn was looking forward to the distraction. It’s not like Cassian would do it in front of people. If she could just stay in a group maybe she could get through this without facing the inevitable fallout her hesitation to answer was sure to cause.

Cassian reached to take one of her bags and she danced away heading down the wheelchair ramp and bee lining for the parking lot.

“Jyn!” She turned her head to find Bodhi out of the car and already waving at her, which brought a smile to her face. They’d seen each other three days ago, but her brother was always excited to see her again and it was enough to crack through her dangerous mood.

“Long time,” she joked pulling him into a hug. She glanced over his shoulder to spot Luke in the drivers seat with the window down smiling serenely. “Hey, brother-in-law!”

“Sister-in-law,” he said with an acknowledging smile and nod. “Good to see you.”

“You’re both so weird,” Bodhi said rolling his eyes, before pressing Jyn to the side and bounding up to Cassian. “Hey Cassian! So glad you could join us this year. I could use some help in the kitchen since Galen and Jyn are useless.” He dragged his old friend into another hug, which Cassian accepted as best he could while carrying his duffle.

“Sure, happy to help,” Cassian said. “Thank you for having me.”

“Anytime, you’re practically family,” Bodhi enthused opening the back door and letting them both slide inside. Their thighs touched as they settled, and Jyn shifted so she couldn’t feel Cassian’s heat radiating through her jeans. It was confusing to want to run away and press herself against him at the same time. Hopefully he’d brush it off due to the fact that Bodhi and Luke were in the car and didn’t know about them, but his slight frown indicated otherwise.

“You both ok?” Luke asked glancing in the rearview mirror. And damn him and his 6th sense.

“Fine,” she and Cassian said in union. If there was nothing else they were currently agreeing on, keeping other people out of their issues still united them. Fuck, she didn’t want to lose him, why did he have to be so stupid?

The evening itself wasn’t terrible. Once everyone was together there was no reason to be awkward with Cassian. They ate pizza and wine and relaxed prior to the Thanksgiving holiday the next day.

“Does Krennic really have to come tomorrow?” Bodhi asked finally as they all lounged around the table getting sleepy from the food and wine. “He has to have some other family he can bother.”

“He’s been coming to Thanksgiving for years now,” Galen chastised lightly. “It’s just a few hours and the man has no family of his own.”

“Yeah, because he’s an asshole who no one likes,” Jyn said bumping Bodhi’s shoulder with her own in support.

“I’ve only met him the once really at the wedding,” Luke said, “Seemed a little stiff and formal, but not mean.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t give him enough time,” Jyn argued and Bodhi shook his head in agreement. “You should hear the way he talks to Cassian.”

“Why does he have a problem with Cassian?” Luke asked, bewildered, and glanced over at the man in question who had stood up at the start of the conversation and started rifling through his duffle bag in the hall next to the dining room.

“Beyond the casual racism, he thinks I’m a welfare-abusing socialist as far as I can tell,” Cassian said with a shrug. He grabbed something in his bag and made his way back to the table. “Almost forgot.”

And then suddenly he was sliding a little black ring box towards her and Jyn forgot how to breathe. Was he serious? Right now? And in front of Bodhi and Luke who didn’t even know about them? She panic glanced at them and saw the looks of surprise on both their faces as they stared at the box.

“Cassian,” she choked out not moving to touch it.

He reached over and popped the lid displaying a simple silver band with a square diamond that sparkled in the overhead light. “Hope it’s ok. Figured you wouldn’t want anything too overdone, but didn’t want it to look like I’d cheaped out.”

Jyn swallowed and tried to find something to say, because beyond panicking, that was a truly awful proposal. Luckily Bodhi did it for her, yelling, “What the hell?”

Cassian blinked at her brother and then seemed to take in the mood of the table. “Oh right. We may have lied to Krennic about being engaged when Galen was in the hospital. I said the ring was being fit when he asked, but I don’t think he’d buy it if that was still the case now.”

“Wait, you lied about being engaged so now you’re actually getting engaged?” Luke asked confused.

Cassian laughed. “No, it’s fake. Some kind of cubic zirconia or something?” Jyn felt something loosen in her chest. Of course, he wasn’t proposing. He was just covering for her once again and had more attention to detail then she ever would. Her beautiful, talented liar. “Anyway, I figured you’d need it unless you wanted to tell Krennic we called it off and put up with the gloating.”

“Are you two going to have a fake wedding too?” Galen asked with a small disbelieving smile. “There comes a point where this lie won’t work anymore.”

“Maybe we could get rid of him before that becomes a necessity,” Jyn said with a laugh of relief. Everything was going to be alright. He wasn’t going to ask, and he wasn’t going to leave her. “Think there’s another family we could get him to latch on to?”

“I will totally plan your fake wedding,” Bodhi volunteered.

“Or we could just say it’s a destination wedding in Mexico and he’d never come,” Cassian said with a shrug.

“That’s actually rather brilliant,” Jyn said shooting him an easy smile for the first time in days. How perfect was he? She grabbed the ring and slipped it on pushing her hand out towards Bodhi and Luke. “So how’s it look?”

“Real,” Luke said with a laugh. “I hope you both know how insane this is. It’s like the plot of one of those awful romcoms that Bodhi likes so much.”

“Hey! You said you liked the last one.” Luke just laughed and gave her brother an affectionate kiss.

“It just seems a little excessive to piss one old man off,” Luke said with a shrug.

“He deserves it,” Jyn said, crossing her arms. “Come on, when even Bodhi thinks he’s a dick you know he is one.”

“He’s also the reason I was able to feed you both and send you to those expensive private universities,” her father noted with a sad little smile. Jyn had never really understood her father and Krennic’s relationship. She knew at one point they truly had been friends, but it had gotten complicated and never quite righted itself. Her father never gave her any additional insight and she didn’t ask.

“So if you have money everyone should have to put up with you being a total dick?” Jyn demanded.

Luke groaned. “Can we not get into politics this early in the holiday?”

“Who said anything about politics?”

“Leia is my sister. I know how this starts,” Luke pointed out. “We’ll be debating the merits of capitalism and US interventionism in no time.”

“On that note,” her father said standing up. “I’m going to bed. Cassian, I do hope you’ll be alright on the pull out couch since Bodhi and Luke are here taking the other room?”

“Of course, Mr. Erso,” Cassian said with an easy nod. “I’ve slept on much worse.”

“It’s Galen,” he corrected. “Have a good night kids.”

They stayed up for another hour drinking and chatting before Bodhi started passing out at the table and they all decided to call it a night.  Jyn waited approximately thirty minutes before she decided Bodhi and Luke were probably asleep, and Cassian wasn’t coming for some reason, before she crept out of her room and snuck down the stairs to the living room.

“Cassian,” she hissed. “Cassian.” The lump on the couch rolled over and Cassian blinked at her in the dark.

“Something wrong?”

“You’re not seriously going to stay down here on that shitty couch are you?”

“So you’re done acting weird then?” he asked skeptically.

“Don’t be a jerk,” she spit defensively. “Are you coming or not?”

He gave a sigh, but kicked the blankets off and got up. She darted back up the stairs with him trailing at her heels. The second he shut the bedroom door, she jumped him. What could she say? They’d been apart so long and then she’d been panicking so much since he came back that she hadn’t been turned on, and now she felt bad for shutting him out in the first place although she wasn’t about to admit that out loud. Kissing it better seemed like a much smarter alternative. Their lips met and she pressed him back towards the bed, stumbling a little as he clearly wasn’t ready to take her full body weight against him. He gave a surprised noise and grabbed her wrists.

“Jyn, seriously what is up with you?”

“I’m fine, Cassian,” she said tugging her wrists free and slipping a hand under his shirt. “I just want you.”

He made a soft noise of protest, but didn’t stop her from slipping a hand into his pants and kissing his neck. She pressed him back again and he sat down hard on the bed. She crawled into his lap and dug a hand into his hair. Fuck, she’d missed him.

“Jyn,” he started. “Jyn, can you stop for a moment?”

She huffed, but leaned back to stare down at him. “What?”

“You’ve barely been able to look at me for the past two days and now you’re suddenly all over me and don’t expect me to have questions?”

“You really want to talk right _now_?” she asked rocking her hips into his for emphasis. If he’d just let her, she’d fuck him so good he’d forget he had any questions to begin with.

His hands came up to capture her hips and still her movements. “It’s more of a need than a want.”

She sighed and rolled off of him onto the bed. “It’s stupid, you’ll laugh.”

“Great, I’d love a good laugh,” he said, “Because I’ve spent the last week or so thinking I’d done something wrong and you were about to end things with me.”

Jyn winced. She hadn’t meant to make him feel that way. “I just got freaked out is all.”

“By what?”

“Look, it’s dumb now that I know what really happened.” She felt like an idiot telling him she’d been terrified he was going to ask her to marry him. Of course Cassian wasn’t going to do that. He was the most sensible man on the face of the earth. He wasn’t going to propose to her out of the blue. She’d been a moron for listening to Han. She would just tell him, and Cassian would tease her for her stupidity, and then they could have sex and go back to normal. “Han may have seen you looking at engagement rings and told me and, obviously, now I know why, but at the time it didn’t occur to me so…” She trailed off at the look on his face and waved her left hand still sporting the fake ring in the air weakly before an awkward silence settled around them.

“Let me get this right,” he said and his voice had that cold neutral quality he only got when he was working or trying to hide something. “You’ve spent the last two days barely looking at me and startling at every touch and the weeks before that avoiding my calls and barely responding to me because you were terrified I was going to propose to you?”

Jyn forced a laugh through her suddenly dry throat. He didn’t seem amused. “I told you it was stupid. I know I shouldn’t have leapt to that ridiculous conclusion. I’m sorry.” She reached for his arm, but he stood up putting space between them.

“The thought of marrying me scares you that much?”

“You’re upset,” Jyn said, frowning.

“It’s not great to find out your girlfriend is terrified of the idea of marrying you,” he said stonily. “I thought,” he stopped and shook his head.

“You know I’m not good at commitment,” Jyn defended getting angry. Beyond the fact that he should know her better than to think she’d be some basic bitch squealing about a proposal, it was too soon for him to be proposing in the first place.

“I know exactly how you are about commitment,” Cassian said. “I just thought it was different with me. I thought you were happy.”

“I am happy,” she defended. “I’m happy the way things are.”

“Sneaking around and hiding it from the people you care for most?”

Jyn rolled her eyes. It wasn’t usually Cassian who was the overdramatic one. “Most of our friends have already figured it out.”

“Not your brother and not because you wanted them to.”

Jyn shrugged. “It isn’t a big deal.”

“Jyn, do you ever want to be openly in a relationship with me?”

“Of course,” she said standing up and reaching for him. She truly hadn’t meant to upset him. She was so bad at this. This is why she hadn’t wanted to discuss it, he shouldn’t have asked, should have just let it go when she did and they’d already be better. “We’ll tell Bodhi and Luke tomorrow if it means that much to you. But you can’t get annoyed when they get overly involved.”

“And do you ever want to marry me?”

“What?”

“Do you ever want to marry me, Jyn?” he repeated stubbornly. “Because I know it’s too much too fast for you right now, but is it ever going to not be too much?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? You knew I was never the girl looking to settle down.”

“And you knew that that’s something I want someday,” Cassian said softly, which was almost worse than his neutral voice. She didn’t like seeing his vulnerabilities when she was the one causing them. “I just thought, after you said you wanted more, after you said you love me, I thought that it might take a while, but that you might want that too someday, with me.”

Jyn wrapped her arms around herself. “Cassian, if you aren’t proposing now what does it matter? If this is just about Bodhi not knowing I swear we can tell him tomorrow.”

“This isn’t about Bodhi,” Cassian said shaking his head. “This is about me being an idiot thinking this was going somewhere.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.”

“What would you have done if I’d proposed for real?” he asked and she couldn’t hold his gaze. Couldn’t lie and tell him she would have said yes or been over the moon about it.

“It’s too soon.”

“So I’m just supposed to stick around and hope that one day it might not be too soon? And what about kids? You’ve never really expressed a huge interest in that either. Will that take another twenty years for you to mull over?”

“Fuck, Cassian, I don’t know. I’ve never even told a guy I love him before and you want me to settle down, buy a house, and pop out babies? Should I quit my job and start working on my sandwich making skills too?” she asked angrily. So she’d been stupid about the ring, but that didn’t mean he needed to question their whole relationship or demand answers to things she wasn’t sure how to give. How was she supposed to tell him that sometimes she thought about them having kids and it didn’t entirely make her chest close up in anxiety, which was better than anytime in the past when the subject had come up even in jest? It didn’t sound good even in her head, and she couldn’t guarantee it’d be something she was ready for even in the next couple years. He was asking too much of her, and it wasn’t fair, because he knew he was.

“Yes, Jyn, that’s obviously what I’m demanding,” he bit out sarcastically. “Not just trying to figure out if my supposed girlfriend wants me for anything besides a secret fuck.”

And he should know better! She’d said she wanted more. She’d stopped sleeping with other guys. She’d told him she loved him. That was already more than she’d given anyone else. “Oh yes, because that’s been so hard on you. Fuck, Cassian, you’ve got the perfect deal. Most guys would kill to have a steady screw without all the stupid societal pressures they come loaded with. You don’t have to be such a girl about it.”

“So this clearly isn’t going anywhere productive,” Cassian dismissed coldly. “I’m going back to the couch.”

“Cassian, don’t be a dick.”

“Don’t worry, Jyn, Krennic won’t suspect a thing tomorrow. You’ll get everything you need from me.” With those parting words he slipped out of her room and back down the stairs silently.

Jyn spent the next hour being pissed at him, the next hour wondering if she should go downstairs and apologize, and then the next hour trying to figure out how she’d screwed this up so royally. It wasn’t like she never wanted to marry him, it was just that it was too much too soon. And then he’d come at her in the worst possible way, making her feel cornered as he demanded answers she didn’t have. She should have never told him the truth. Should have just lied about what had upset her. Why the fuck had she told him the truth? She knew that most of the reason he’d broken up with Nioma was because she didn’t want to get married and have kids. Had she ruined everything?

She should go downstairs and tell him she’d marry him tomorrow if he wanted. She got up and instantly sat back down. She just couldn’t do it. Marriage was all sorts of promises. It was promising to love that person, letting them within cutting range, and then either watching it all go wrong when someone got bored, or the possibility of watching them die and having to survive it. It would inevitably end in pain and loneliness. She’d barely survived her mom dying, and her dad retreating into himself, and Saw leaving, and how could she possibly willing make the choice to take that risk again? Or even worse have kids and hope they didn’t die before her, or that she didn’t die and leave them all alone. All the alternatives were equally awful and suffocating. She needed more time. She resolved to go to sleep and hope Cassian had cooled off by the morning.

* * *

Jyn was sure she looked awful. Two restless hours of sleep and a long draining day could do that to you. This had to be the worst Thanksgiving ever, and that included the one where she’d had the flu and spent every five minutes barfing. The whole day had sucked. She’d come downstairs to find Cassian looking as normal as ever, eating breakfast and joking with Bodhi and Luke. Krennic had arrived midday and Cassian had instantly looped an arm around her waist, planting affectionate kisses on her temple and employing just the right amount of flattery towards her and her family to well and truly piss Krennic off. Then the second the man had left Cassian had gotten some mysterious text from work saying he was needed urgently back in the city. Luke had driven him to the train station and that was the end of that.

Now Jyn was bundled up in a blanket in front of the living room TV not really watching what was on, with a glass of whiskey in her hand, wishing she could crawl into a gutter and die. He was definitely going to end it. And what choice did she have but to let him? It was that or propose to him and that thought made anxiety well up inside her. She couldn’t give him what he clearly needed no matter how badly she wanted to.

“So,” Bodhi started as he settled into the couch next to her. “You want to tell me what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure you are,” he said easily. He reached under the blankets and pulled her feet into his lap, digging his thumbs into her heel in a circular motion.

“Cheater.”

“Jyn, you’re obviously not ok. Even Galen is worried about you and he’s about the most oblivious person there is. Luke thinks you and Cassian had a fight, but that can’t be right since you and Cassian have stupid fights all the time and you never seemed to care before.”

Jyn made a disgruntled noise, but didn’t move her feet out of his hold. Cassian was right. What kind of relationship were they in if she hadn’t told Bodhi? He’d been there for some of the most terrible moments of her life. Why would she hide good things from him if they were really good? Bodhi had always been one of her go-to confidantes and if she really had to be honest about it, she knew she hadn’t told him because he knew both of them best and he, more than anyone else, would have predicted how this was going to end. She didn’t have the ability to ignore Bodhi’s advice so she hadn’t wanted it, for fear that it was him telling her she’d have to let Cassian go.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he said finally. “If you just want me to be here, I can do that too.” Jyn stifled a sob. “Whatever it is I’ve got your back. Even if that means punching Cassian.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” she said finally, trying to keep the despair out of her tone. “You shouldn’t be mad at Cassian.”

“If it’s made you this sad then I don’t care who’s fault it is, I’m still mad at Cassian,” Bodhi said resolutely. “You’re my sister, Jyn.”

“We were dating,” she admitted refusing to look at him. His hands stilled and she buried her face in the pillow.

“You mean to fool Krennic?”

“No, I mean, yes. It started that way, sort of, but it wasn’t that way anymore. I don’t know how it all got so messed up.”

“I mean not to judge, but I think most friends with benefits relationships wind up screwed up in the end.”

“We weren’t just sleeping together,” Jyn defended mournfully.

“You were having sex and not telling anyone,” Bodhi said trailing off at the implication.

Jyn glared and then took a swig of her drink. “I love him, and he said he loved me.”

Bodhi let out a whistle. “Well, that’s new for you. How long has this been going on?”

“Since your wedding,” Jyn admitted.

Bodhi sighed and grabbed the drink from her, taking a long sip, and then setting it down on the table. “So you love each other, but still didn’t think you should tell your brother or any of your friends?”

Jyn wiped angrily at the tears leaking from her eyes unbidden. “We just wanted to take it slow.” She paused and then corrected herself. “I wanted to take it slow. I didn’t need everyone’s opinions.”

She was grateful Bodhi didn’t instantly jump to the defensive. “I mean it would have been a shock, but in the end what more could I hope for than my best friend and my sister winding up together? I always thought I was going to have to put up with some jerk who wasn’t nearly good enough for you. Cassian, well, Cassian isn’t who I would have guessed off the bat, but thinking about it now it makes sense. You two balance each other.”

“Yeah, well fat load of good that did.”

“What happened?”

“I didn’t want to marry him.”

“He asked you already?” Bodhi asked with surprise lacing every syllable. “He should know you well enough to know you weren’t going to say yes to that.”

“He didn’t ask me, I thought he was going to when Han said he was ring shopping so I got spooked, and then when it turned out to be fake I opened my stupid idiotic mouth and told him it freaked me out.”

“Wait, how did Han know?”

“Basically everyone knows except for you and Luke,” she sighed.

“And I’m supposed to not be pissed about this because?” And it said something about Bodhi that he even gave her the chance to explain, because if the roles had been reversed she would have already slugged him in the arm and stormed off.

“Because they all mainly found out by walking in on one or the both of us in different states of nakedness and/or orgasming.”

“Fair enough, I prefer being the last to know,” Bodhi said pinching her foot. “So you don’t want to marry him. You had to know that’d set him off after what happened with Nioma.”

“It’s not that I for sure never want to marry him,” she argued sitting up and tucking into herself further. Bodhi lifted a skeptical eyebrow at that. He’d grown up with her ranting about idiots in love and claiming marriage was like getting a puppy, signing yourself up for a terrible ending one way or another. Really the only way you could win in a marriage was if you happened to be the one in a million couple who was happy and you were the half of the couple that died first. Jyn shrugged. “It’s different with Cassian. I might entertain the possibility one day. Shut up about it. I just. It was too much too soon, and he wanted all these answers I couldn’t give. Fuck, Bodhi, I can’t even make breakfast without burning it, how am I supposed to keep a kid alive?”

Bodhi’s eyes got wide. “He asked you to have a kid with him?”

“I mean not immediately, but yeah,” Jyn said wrapping her arms around her legs. “I just. I don’t know if I want that. Like in theory, yeah it might be nice with him someday, but in reality. So much horrible shit can go wrong.”

An arm wrapped around her shoulders and tugged her close. “First of all, I’ve never known you to be someone who lets fear stop them from getting what they really want, and second, you don’t have to decide any of this right now,” Bodhi said firmly. “If you explain it to him, Cassian will understand.”

“I don’t think it matters. I think he broke up with me.”

“He said that?”

“No, but he was so mad last night and he made up that obvious lie to get out of here today.”

“Cassian has his faults, but I think he’d tell you if he wanted to break up with you.”

“You said it yourself though, didn’t you? He wouldn’t wait for Nioma and she was like the love his life back in the day. Certainly a much better match for him than me.”

“Hey, you’re fantastic. Nioma was boring as hell, like nice, but boring. All the girl could ever talk about was politics and classical music. She wasn’t even fun when she was drinking. She’d have like one glass of white wine and say she had a headache and make Cassian leave early. Sure, she and Cassian like never fought, but is never fighting the standard of a good relationship? Luke and I fight all the time and we still love each other.”

“You guys never fight,” Jyn argued.

“Not in front of people if we can help it,” Bodhi said, “But we have disagreements like all couples and the difference between a couple that’s going to work and one that isn’t is being willing to work through it. If Cassian is calling it quits just like that, then he didn’t really love you anyway. And same goes for you if you don’t just talk to him about it.”

“I suck at that part,” Jyn admitted, snatching her drink back.

“Yeah, you do.”

“Hey!”

“But Cassian is one of the few people that already knows that and might just give you some leeway.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“He will, if he loves you he will. I always do, don’t I? Talk to him tomorrow when we’re back in the city.”

Jyn sighed and curled more firmly into Bodhi’s side. That was easier said than done. Cassian was an expert at stealthy getaways when he didn’t want to talk to you.

* * *

Cassian tried not to sigh when he opened his bedroom door and saw Jyn sprawled out asleep in his bed. At least she wasn’t naked, which meant she wasn’t going to try to distract him from the obvious. He’d spent the day in the office catching up on work and avoiding exactly this. He’d been too harsh. Jyn was Jyn. He knew her hangups. Why had he in any way expected her to change for him? Just because she’d said she loved him didn’t mean she’d fundamentally changed as a person. He was an idiot to think even for a moment that she’d want to marry him. Nioma hadn’t, why would Jyn want to? He should settle with whatever she was willing to give.

Cassian crossed the room and stripped off his clothes before changing into his pajamas. He wasn’t even particularly quiet about it, but while Jyn was usually a light sleeper, she’d proven to be quite the opposite when it was just Cassian moving around. He’d stupidly decided in his mind that that meant more than it obviously did. He’d read too much into all the little things. He could see that clearly now. Deluded himself into thinking that even though Jyn couldn’t say certain things out loud that he could read her well enough to know. That all the small things had added up to a much bigger declaration than it really had.

“Jyn,” he said softly, brushing the hair off her face. It was total bullshit that she still made his heart lurch when he was upset at her. “Jyn?”

She made a muffled noise and buried her face further into his pillow. He rolled his eyes and started to physically move her on to one side of the bed. She gave a protesting grunt and pushed his hands away.

“Jyn, you gotta budge over. You’re taking up the whole bed.”

She blinked up at him, slowly waking up, and then sat up sharply banging their heads together. “Fuck.”

“Sorry,” Cassian muttered backing up and rubbing his jaw.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said fidgeting with her shirt nervously.

“It’s fine. I should have figured you’d be here and come home earlier,” he said with a shrug. “Can you just shove over a little?”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“It’s fine, you can spread out again when I’ve claimed my space.”

“You’re not mad that I’m here?”

He supposed they couldn’t avoid it. “I overreacted. It’s fine.”

Hope dashed across her features and he held back a sigh. Above everything else he wanted her to be happy. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It was unreasonable of me to expect,” he said staring at her forehead to avoid her eyes. “I’m sorry I lost it like that. I shouldn’t have left. I love you, Jyn.”

She ducked her head, which was a sure sign she was fighting tears. Fuck he hated when she cried, more so when he was the cause of it. “It’s not that I never,” she started.

“Jyn,” he shushed sliding into the bed beside her and pulling her into his arms. “Don’t. It’s my issue, not yours. We’re fine.” And he didn’t want to hear her justifications. Didn’t need her to list all the valid reasons she didn’t want to marry him, didn’t want a family with him.

“We are?”

“Yes,” he said trying to sound secure in the answer. He kissed the crown of her head and focused on being ok. He’d wanted to be home to her, but she didn’t need him to be. She had a home, with Galen and Bodhi, she didn’t need that from him. Just because he wanted those things didn’t mean he could expect her to. “Everything is fine.”

“I love you, Cassian,” she said digging her hand into his shirt and pulling him closer. “I didn’t mean to spaz out.”

“I know you didn’t,” he said softly. She said she loved him. He knew that was more than anyone else had ever gotten. He should be content. “Let’s just put it behind us.”

She pressed her face into his chest and he ran his hand up and down her spine absently. “I told Bodhi.”

Cassian wasn’t surprised. Bodhi had always been her go-to sounding board when she was upset. Cassian wondered if he’d get the shovel talk from her brother or if Bodhi would see what he clearly had blinded himself to and warn him that he was going to get hurt. “How’d he take it?”

“He’s happy for us,” Jyn said softly. “He was actually pretty calm about it, but he’ll be annoying about it later.”

Cassian forced a laugh. “I’m sure it will be fine. Go to sleep, Jyn.”

They lapsed into silence and he thought for a second she’d gone back to sleep. “I don’t want you to be mad.”

“I’m not.” Mad was definitely not the right word for what he was.  All the anger had drained out of him the second he'd gotten on the train back to the city. No, there was no anger left in him, just a knot of sadness he wasn't sure what to do with.

“Everybody knows now.”

“Seems that way.”

“I’m glad they all know,” she said pressing closer to him.

And he was too, but what did it matter when this was the end of the road? He was happy they didn’t have to sneak around, that he could kiss her in public, and hold her hand, and tell their friends to piss off when they tried to set them up. He loved her so much, wanted her in his life every damn day, and in order to do that he’d have to be content with what she was capable of offering. “It’s good,” he agreed simply. “Go to sleep, Jyn. I’ll cook us breakfast in the morning.”

She kissed his neck and relaxed into him. He lay awake for a few hours after with Jyn’s warmth radiating into his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst may be harder than the sex scenes for me to write lol. These poor suffering babies. I'm not even sure which one of them screwed up worse here.


	12. The One Where Things Go Bad

“You want another?” Cassian asked as he stood up from the booth.

“Sure.” Her drink was still a quarter full, but she’d need one soon enough and didn’t feel like getting up later. He headed off to the bar and she watched him go.

“I really thought this would be cuter,” Leia huffed from across the table.

“What are you talking about?” Bodhi asked on Jyn’s other side.

“Them,” Leia said gesturing towards Jyn and Cassian’s retreating back. “I thought they’d be cuter together when they were like openly dating.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jyn griped.

“I have never heard any of you describe either of them individually as ‘cute,’” Kay put in. “Why would you assume that the combination of two things that are not ‘cute’ would form something ‘cute’?”

“I don’t know,” Leia huffed throwing her arms up. Han laughed and draped an arm around her waist. “I just thought they’d be cuter. You can barely even tell they’re together.”

Jyn frowned as Leia touched a sore point. Cassian kept claiming he wasn’t mad and that everything was fine, but his words and his actions didn’t really match. If the word marriage came up in a conversation, he’d deftly change the subject and anytime she tried to bring up the fight he’d just kiss her quickly and say it wasn’t worth thinking about. It wasn’t like she particularly wanted to talk about it either, but it’d been two weeks now and things were not the same.

It was like all the heat in their relationship had just crawled into a corner and died. They hung out with their friends, and kissed, and slept together openly now, but most of the time it was just that – going to bed and then waking up, going to work and doing it all over again. She’d tried to initiate sex a few times and he went along with it gamely enough, but it wasn’t the same as it had been, and she’d started to find it easier to just shut off the light with a quiet goodnight and go to sleep with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. He rarely ever reached for her anymore, and he’d given up even the pretense of trying to get out of work early to spend time with her. Jyn was starting to freak out a little that he just felt obligated to stay with her now that their friends knew and was biding his time until it was acceptable for them to break up or until she did it for him.

“Do you really want to walk in on more nudity than we’ve already been exposed to?” Kay demanded. “I never needed to know what Jyn’s vagina looks like.”

“Gross, shut up,” Bodhi yelled throwing a bar pretzel at Kay.

“But you said they were cute,” Leia pouted at her boyfriend.

“I said no such thing,” Han defended. “I believe my exact words were something along the lines of, ‘Thank god you know now so they can be gross at your apartment. I’m tired of having them wrapped around each other on the couch whispering and laughing like thieves and mooning over each other when one of them gets up or leaves the room like puppies.’ For fuck sake, I came home one night and Jyn was in his lap and they were doing a crossword puzzle. I thought I’d had a stroke.”

“See! That’s cute!” Leia argued. “Why don’t you do anything cute now that we know?”

Jyn just shrugged. She knew Leia didn’t mean to pick at a badly healing wound, but she wanted to sink into the floor and cease to exist. “We just don’t want all you weirdos gawking at us.”

“Let me gawk,” Leia demanded. “I earned it after overhearing what I overheard.”

“I’ve heard worse,” Jyn snapped back looking between her and Han.

Cassian slid back into the booth and pushed a drink her way. She took it and slunk down in her seat as he slipped an obligatory arm over her shoulders. He did that now. Made all the right boyfriend moves, but without any of the warmth behind it. He used to throw and arm over her shoulders and tug her closer, or squeeze her shoulder, or play with her hair. Now it just sat there like dead weight and an accusation.

“Pathetic,” Leia grumbled.

“What?” Cassian asked.

“Nothing,” Jyn said cutting them all off. They last thing she wanted was for this conversation to go on with Cassian involved. “Bodhi, did you tell them that crazy story about the drunk passenger on your last flight?”

Her brother took pity on her and began his tale, distracting the table from her and Cassian, which at this point was all she could ask for. Jyn slipped her hand down to his under the table and Cassian’s glance flickered from Bodhi to her, before he curled his own fingers around hers. He wasn’t cold with her, didn’t reject any advance, and yet. Jyn could feel him holding himself back, folding up into himself and pulling away from her.

“You ok?” she whispered.

“Great,” he said with a perfectly practiced smile that she’d seen him use on asshole strangers before. “You?”

“Just great,” she lied back. She didn’t know what else to do. He gave her hand a squeeze before shaking it free to wrap around his drink. His attention refocused on the rest of the group, and Jyn bit her lip trying to fight down the ugly feeling inside her that she’d fucked everything up and there was no way to fix it.

* * *

“Just get that data to me by tomorrow,” Cassian told the tactician as he rifled through his files and headed back to his desk. The man gave a sharp nod and scampered away. Cassian didn’t exactly have the friendliest reputation at work, despite Leia trying to convince people he was nice. And it wasn’t like he was rude or mean to anyone, he just wanted the job done right and didn’t have time for small talk about whatever the latest must-see TV was. Besides it’d already been a long week and he just wanted to go home and go to bed. Not that that was going to happen anyway. Han was hosting a movie night and they were all expected to show up. It’d probably be something stupid that would lose him halfway through, but at least then he could just fall asleep for the second half. That was if he could claim a comfortable enough spot on the couch. Jyn would save him a space though so that was probably a guarantee.

Cassian sighed. Jyn was always a bittersweet thought these days. He loved her so much, but trying to be ok with the fact that this was all it was ever going to be was harder than he’d originally presumed. He knew it shouldn’t mean anything, a stupid piece of paper and legal approval, he and Jyn were together and she hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to go anywhere else with anyone else. A piece of paper didn’t change what they were or what they meant to each other. He still wanted it though. He wanted to call her his wife one day, he wanted her to introduce him as her husband. He wanted her to be proud enough of him to call him that. He wanted to start a family with her eventually, one all their own.

She’d tried to bring up the fight a couple times and he’d danced them away from the topic. He just couldn’t bring himself to listen to all the things that made her not want to marry him or be anything more than what they were. She’d be trying to be kind, make him see sense, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever recover.

Cassian shook his head. Focus on the work, get through the day, rinse and repeat until the callous built up and it didn’t feel like this anymore. He’d been through tough shit in the past that didn’t go the way he wanted it to. He knew time was all it took till you got used to the state of affairs and did your best with them. If the state of affairs was that he and Jyn were in love, but that was it, well that was way better than a lot of people got. He could be content.

Focus on the work.

Cassian finished walking back to his desk with new purpose and was surprised to find someone sitting in his chair. Most of the other staffers were way too scared of him to mess with his cube. The brunette looked up from his seat and his breath caught.

“Hello, Cassian.”

“Nioma.”

“How have you been?”

“Fine,” he said glancing around and seeing Leia frowning in their direction from across the office. “What are you doing here?”

Nioma shrugged and stood up. “I’m back in the city. I wanted to see you.”

“Well, you’ve seen me,” Cassian said stiffly dropping the files on his desk. “Curiosity satisfied?”

“You’re mad,” Nioma said softly and then shook her head. “You should be mad. It was wrong the way I left.”

“You did what was right for you,” he countered.

Nioma bit her lip and looked down at her feet. “I was hoping we could talk. Are you done for the day? Maybe we could grab dinner? My treat.”

“Nioma, it’s fine,” he said quietly. His fingers twitched to do something as a distraction, but he knew better than to allow such an easy nervous tell. Nioma would pick up on it in an instant and use it to her advantage. They were the same after all. “You don’t need to explain anything to me. I get it.”

“I want to explain,” she said earnestly reaching for his arm. “Cassi, I never wanted to hurt you.”

He flinched at the old nickname and pulled his arm away subtly. She was the only one who had ever called him that and it hadn’t been his favorite, but it was endearing at the time because of his feelings for her. Jyn and Bodhi had delighted in using it to tease him while he and Nioma were together. “It’s really ok now, Nioma. Everything’s forgiven.”

“Then it shouldn’t be any problem to have dinner with me,” she countered. “Please, Cassi? It’s just one dinner and then if you want me gone you’ll never have to see my face again.”

Fuck, he should have seen that one coming. She stared at him with big pleading brown eyes and he caved, just like he always had for her. He’d go to dinner and let her apologize or whatever she needed to do to clear her conscious and then move on with life. “Fine. We can go to that noodle bar you like.” It was good, fast, and cheap so nothing would be lost in the process.

“You remember that?”

“Of course.” He grabbed his coat and moved to shut down his computer. He could practically feel Leia glaring daggers into his back from across the room, but he ignored it. It wasn’t any of her business, and they were all supposed to come to his and Han’s place to watch a movie tonight anyway so she could grill him then. He passed Leia without a second look and held the door for Nioma following her out of the building and on to the bustling city streets.

“Leia didn’t seem happy to see me,” Nioma said as they walked. “I was a bit surprised. I always thought we got on rather well.”

“You did unceremoniously dump one of her friends,” Cassian reminded her dryly. “Leia doesn’t take what she sees as betrayals very well.”

Nioma reached out to take his arm again. “I’m glad you had your friends. I handled it all so poorly. I know that now.”

“You knew what you wanted and went after it,” Cassian sighed. “I can’t hold that against you.”

“Yeah, I thought so,” she said evasively. “Here we are.” She tugged him into the noodle shop. “I missed this place.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve been back since we were together,” he said glancing around. The staff showed them to a table quickly enough and he didn’t have to look at the menu to know what he wanted. He looked over at Nioma scanning her menu and felt a wave of déjà vu, more than likely because they’d done this dozens of times before. It felt familiar and comfortable for all this was sure to be an uncomfortable conversation. They ordered and slipped into a silence that Cassian was unwilling to break. She was the one who requested this dinner, she was the one who had something to say so it wasn’t on him to make the conversation flow.

“How have you been, Cassi?”

He snorted a little. That was a weak opening move, and Nioma was usually smoother than that. She must be feeling extremely uncomfortable, but, “Fine, and yourself?”

“We lost,” she said simply. And he knew what she was talking about, because at the end of the day what mattered most, what had always mattered most between them was work.

“I saw that,” he said a little more kindly. “Sorry about that. If it helps I voted for him.”

She shot him a brilliant smile. “Thanks.”

“It was a good campaign,” he said with a shrug. “There will be others. I can’t imagine you didn’t have job offers after.”

“I did,” she said hesitantly. “I think I was a little burnt out to be honest.”

“Running a presidential campaign can do that to a person. Are you taking time off then?”

“I’ve continued to work for the senator, but now I’ve been thinking about what I really want,” she said, “You know, long term.”

“Well, I’m sure it will all work out,” he offered kindly, even after she’d left him he’d never wanted her to fail. Just like Jyn, it wasn’t her fault she didn’t want the same things as he did, didn’t think it was worth it. It’d hurt, but it hadn’t been malicious. Their noodles showed up just as quickly as ever and he gave the waiter a thankful nod.

“Yeah,” she said simply. “I hope so.” She opened her mouth to say something else and then seemed to think better of it. “You’re still enjoying working for Senator Organa?”

“Yep, still fighting the good fight,” he said with a laugh. “You know how it goes.”

“Do you know if there are any positions open?”

His eyebrow shot up at that. So that’s what this was about? She wanted her old job back? She’d have done better talking to Leia. “I’m not sure, but I could ask around. You want to come back?”

“I was thinking it might be a possibility if everything else works out.”

“Leia would know better than me.”

Nioma frowned. “Yes, I thought she’d be more receptive to my plan than she was.”

And well that was confusing. Leia might be pissed on his behalf, but she didn’t turn away talented people. They needed all the help they could get almost always. If Nioma wanted a job and they had the funds, Leia would want her. She’d tell Cassian to put on his big boy pants and deal with it. “She said no?”

“She said she didn’t think it was a good idea.”

“I’ll talk to her,” he said though he couldn’t think why she would do that. “I don’t know if anything is open, but if this is just about you and me, obviously we’re fine. We can work together.”

“I’m not sure it was the job that upset her,” Nioma said pushing her chopsticks around her noodles. She steeled her face and pushed out, “Are you and Leia dating?”

Cassian stared at her in shock for a second and then laughed. “No, why would you think that?”

Nioma looked relieved and smiled. “Oh good, it was just when I said I was here to win you back she looked positively murderous, but we didn’t get to say anything more because other people came up to say hello to me.”

Cassian choked on his noodles and needed a minute to reset. “You want to win me back?”

She smiled shyly and reached for his hand. He was so shocked he couldn’t even react to the gesture. “That’s the plan. We were good together, weren’t we? If you let me I want to make it up to you. I’m ready now, for all of it, marriage, kids, all of it.”

“You said this to Leia?”

“Yes, I thought she’d be happy for us. We’d always gotten along well before.”

His mind was racing, and he wasn’t sure where to start. He went with the first thing he could get out. “I’m dating Jyn.”

Nioma frowned and pulled her hand back. “Jyn Erso?”

“Yes.”

“That’s,” Nioma paused fishing for words. “Interesting. You guys have been friends a long time, but it can’t possibly be serious. Not with Jyn. She doesn’t do serious.”

“I love her.”

A look of surprise flickered over Nioma’s face, but she quickly controlled it. They both had a gift for mastering their emotions, always had. “And she loves you back? Jyn never seemed the type.”

“She does.”

“How long have you been dating?”

“About five months,” he said pushing the noodles around in his bowl. His appetite had fled. He really didn’t want to talk about Jyn and his relationship right now.

“Getting married?”

Cassian tried to stay casual and shrugged. “It’s too soon.”

“She doesn’t want to,” Nioma countered. “You forget I know her too. Jyn doesn’t want that, or at least not the Jyn I knew.” He didn’t say anything. What was there to say she wouldn’t see through? “You still do though, don’t you? We were good together Cassian. We get each other. I hadn’t figured myself out yet, but I have now. I want it all. I want it all with you. I’m really not here to create problems, but I can’t just walk away without trying. If you’re truly happy just say it and I’ll go, but Cassian I’m ready. The biggest mistake I ever made was walking away from you. I’ve never regretted anything more. I was stupid, and Cassi, if you’ll let me I’ll spend the rest of our lives together making it up to you. I love you.”

“Nioma,” he started, but tapered off into nothing. He didn’t know what to say. His heart was beating overtime and his mind was skipping all over the place. He wondered if he was dreaming. He’d had this dream before, for months after she’d left him, but he’d thought he’d moved on. And Jyn, fuck. He was going to be late for the group’s movie night. But here Nioma was offering him everything he’d ever wanted.   “Nioma,” he tried again and then cleared his throat.

Nioma reached back across the table and laced their fingers together. “You don’t have to decide right now. I know it’s a lot, me coming here and putting this on you. Cassi, I don’t want it to be a bad thing. I want you to be happy. I want _us_ to be happy, like we were.” She pushed up out of her seat and leaned across the table and kissed him.

* * *

“What?” Jyn demanded. The room had fallen silent when she’d entered and she knew well enough that that was bad news.

“This is a disaster just as I predicted,” Kay said looking positively aggrieved in the corner of the room.

The room turned to glare at him and Jyn instantly felt jittery. Everyone might be annoyed at Kay, but she’d always found his bluntness refreshing. Not that she’d ever admit that to him or anyone else. She might have accidentally said it to Cassian once and had to threaten him within an inch of his life, or more accurately no sex ever again, to keep it to himself.

“Glare all you like,” Kay said crossing his arms. “I’m right, and you all are wrong.”

“What is Kay right about?” she asked rolling her eyes and trying to play calm as she pulled her shoes off at the door. “And what movie are we watching?”

“Wild Wild West,” Han shouted.

“We’re not watching that crap,” Leia argued.

“It has Will Smith,” Luke offered.

“Who gives a crap what we’re watching?” Bodhi asked sounding distraught. “When Cassian is out there getting back together with his ex?”

The smile dropped off Jyn’s face. “What?”

Leia stood up and approached her cautiously. “Bodhi is exaggerating. We don’t know if he’s getting back together with her.”

“What the fuck are you all talking about?”

“Look, Nioma showed up at the office today,” Leia explained. “We spoke briefly and she may have implied that she was sorry and she wanted Cassian back and was ready to marry him and everything. I think she thought it’d make me less angry at her since she didn’t know the situation.”

Jyn felt like her heart plunged into her stomach. This wasn’t real. It wasn’t happening. “What?”

“I’m sure he’s out there letting her down easy as we speak,” Leia said.

“Where’s Cassian?” Jyn asked trying to slow her racing mind as it quickly and sadistically started offering up different scenarios of the happy couple.

Leia looked around her for support and then sighed. “He left the office with her. I’m sure he’ll be here soon though.”

“Sure he will,” Han snorted.

“Han!”

“What?” Han argued. “Are we all really going to sit around and pretend? He was crazy about Nioma. The only reason they broke up was because she didn’t want to get married and now here she is apologizing and offering everything he ever wanted, while Jyn clearly has no interest considering the panic attack she had when I mentioned he was looking at rings. Which one would you choose? It’s like straight out of those crappy romantic movies you like, with the cheesy dramatic declarations at the end where the guy and girl figure out they were always meant for each other all along, and there’s always some poor shmuck left in their dust because he or she wasn’t ‘the one.’ Just turns out Jyn wasn’t the protagonist in this particular story.”

“You’re not helping,” Leia hissed.

“I’d choose Jyn, because she’s obviously the better choice,” Bodhi spat out and Jyn felt a moment of fierce love for her brother. Then the panic settled right back in, because she knew Han was right. Someone always got left behind, and she’d known from the start it was going to be her. This was exactly why she didn’t sign up for this relationship bullshit. Still it didn’t make it any less painful now.

“Look, why don’t we wait till Cassian gets back before we decide on anything,” Luke offered out.

“Or I could get the locks changed and speed the process along,” Han said dryly.

“You are an insensitive ass!” Leia said throwing a couch pillow at her boyfriend.

“And so begins the collapse of the social circle,” Kay droned. “This is going to be exhausting.”

“Would you shut up about the social circle?” Bodhi snapped as he got up and tried to wrap an arm around Jyn. She knew he meant it as a comfort, but it made her chest tighten up and she just wanted to bolt. She wasn’t some weak thing that needed to be held while she got dumped. Fuck, she was getting dumped.

“I will not,” Kay argued. “Especially when it’s already happening as I predicted. You’re closing ranks and I will have to go with Cassian. Given at least in this scenario I don’t have to deal with him heartbroken, but still he will miss his friend group.”

“You don’t _have_ to do anything,” Bodhi said dropping his arm around her to gesture at Kay. “Cassian is the one causing all this by picking Nioma, so he doesn’t really deserve your friendship does he? You should be ‘closing ranks’ or whatever you want to call it around Jyn too.”

“Maybe we should all wait for the full story before we completely disassemble our friendships?” Luke offered up again weakly.

“You’re picking Jyn,” Bodhi barked at his husband.

“Nobody is picking anything,” Jyn said shaking herself back into action. She’d known. She’d always known that Cassian would wake up one day and decide that what she was capable of offering wasn’t enough, that she wasn’t enough. He had everything going for him. He didn’t have to deal with her insecurities. He didn’t have to have a girlfriend that was scared shitless of having too much for the fear of all you could lose. This was always how this was going to end, and she was the one who’d started it. Kay and Han were right, and it was her fault.

“Jyn,” Leia said in that soothing tone she used with ruffled donors.

“Cassian has the right to choose what he wants,” she said around the stone in her throat. “It doesn’t. Whatever happens with us. I just mean. We’re all friends. This wasn’t supposed to get complicated. If he wants Nioma. You don’t have to stop being friends with him on my account is all I’m saying.” She shook her head and clenched a fist, digging her nails into her palm to drive the tears back. “In fact, you shouldn’t stop being friends with him. It’s not his fault if I’m not ‘the one.’ I won’t allow it. You have to stay friends with him.” Because it would hurt Cassian to see them all go, and she couldn’t allow that, couldn’t allow him to be hurt and alone with only Kay just because she couldn’t love him right.

“Baby sister.” Bodhi was reaching for her again and she sidestepped him, picking up her discarded shoes.

“It’s ok,” she continued putting the shoes back on. “I mean you all knew from the start it wouldn’t last, right?”

“So that’s it?” Leia asked now looking pissed. “You’re not going to fight for him?”

“How am I supposed to fight the love of his life, Leia? How am I supposed to offer him more than she’s offering when I can’t,” Jyn shouted back. “What, you think suddenly I’ll be able to say ‘marry me,’ ‘have kids with me’? I’m not there yet. If that’s what he wants then I can’t give it to him. I, we, I’m an idiot. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. But it isn’t enough, and that’s all I’ve got to offer. That’s on me, not him. You can’t take it out on him. It isn’t fair.”

“Maybe he won’t,” Leia began and Jyn cut her off.

“I’m going to go. I can’t be here right now.”

She didn’t give them a chance to argue just turned around and headed back out the door and pounded down the steps. She didn’t know where she was going, but she couldn’t face any of them right now. Couldn’t sit there and wait for Cassian to come home and be kind and let her down easy, tell her he didn’t expect this to happen, that he still loved Nioma and they were going to start a family together. Jyn wasn’t stupid. She knew he wanted that. The few times he’d been willing to discuss his childhood or his parents it was obvious he craved a stable home and a family all his own, one where he wouldn’t have to repeat the tragedies of the past. She’d never had the heart to tell him it’d probably just come with it’s own set of new tragedies. Honestly Cassian was smart enough to know that, he was just willing to take the risk for something better.

The tears started coming and she wiped at them furiously as she avoided people and stomped down the street. It felt like there was a fist squeezing around her heart and lungs and she might throw up. She’d known better than to get this deep. This is always how it ends, with them leaving and her hurting. There was no way she got to keep Cassian. Better now than later. She could recover from this. One more scar to add to the collection. He’d leave and she’d learn. She’d learn again. The lesson that never seemed to take for all her wanting. People don’t stick around when things go bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had to do one true cliffhanger... sorry, guys! But hopefully this has fulfilled most of the angst quota...


	13. The One With The Dramatic Conclusion

She threw another punch and the bag swung under the hit. Her muscles felt as sore and raw as her emotions at this point.

“Jyn?”

One two, one two, one hit after another. “Yeah?” she grunted.

“The gym closes in an hour.”

“Gonna kick me out?” she asked brushing the sweat off her brow and continuing her vicious workout.

“Of course not, little sister,” Baze said with a sigh. “But talking about it might be better than whatever this is.”

“Nothing to talk about.”

“I’ll kill him if you want.”

Jyn huffed and caught the bag, turning to look at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about Cassian,” Baze said with his normal bluntness. “It’s clear he’s done something wrong. If you need me to kill him I will. He’s really only ever got a chance of winning if he sees you coming.”

Jyn shook her head. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Baze lifted an unbelieving eyebrow and frowned. “Well then, I guess it’s fine to let him in.”

“Let him in where?” she asked and then her eyes widened. “He’s here?”

“Chirrut is currently detaining him at the front desk,” Baze said with a small fond smile. “Cassian tried to get past him once, but Chirrut tripped him with his walking cane. I think it’s the most fun Chirrut has had in a while.”

“He’s a member here, he has a right to come in.”

“Yeah,” Baze shrugged. “But we retain the right to revoke his membership at any time for any reason. You’re family, he hurt you, that’s reason enough for me.”

Jyn shook her head and ignored the warmth flaring up in her at his words. How had she lucked out so hard and found them? Time to get this over with. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Take his money.”

Baze considered her another moment and then shrugged. “If you say so.” He turned and left and Jyn swiped at her hair, stupidly trying to make it look like less of a sweaty mess. Though she didn’t know why she bothered. Cassian wasn’t some dumb guy who only thought with his dick, he wasn’t going to be swayed even if she did look prettier than she did right now. He’d have made his decision based on sound reasoning, and what did it matter what she looked liked while he dumped her?

She sighed and tried to unclench her fists. She’d wanted more time before the inevitable, but perhaps this was better. Saw would be ashamed if he knew how badly she wanted to run right now. How fucking pathetic.

“Jyn.” She looked up and tried to steel herself. God, she loved him. What was she going to do? She felt a whine building in her throat and pushed it back. The only choice was to face it head on and move forward.

“Hey,” she forced out.

“I went to the apartment, but you weren’t there,” he said looking worried and unsure. “Leia told you about Nioma.”

Jyn nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s ok, Cassian.” She swallowed and tried again. “I get it.”

“I didn’t know why she wanted to talk to me when she asked me to dinner.”

“Cassian,” she cut him off. “You don’t have to say it.” Fuck, her voice was catching. He needed to leave. She needed to get this over with as quickly as possible. “I _get_ it. You don’t have to worry. I told everyone they had to stay friends with you.”

Cassian frowned and took a hesitant step into the training room. “And will you stay my friend, then?”

The question brought her up short. Could she be his friend? Could she be happy for his happiness and not be bitter that it wasn’t her own? Dance at his wedding? Be Auntie Jyn to his kids? Could she hang out with him and Nioma and pretend she didn’t know how he felt between her thighs? That she didn’t miss the intimacy they’d shared? Probably not. Maybe with time she could fake it. Would have to fake it. “I’m not sure Nioma would like that,” she hedged. And that would be easier, if Nioma cut her out, forced Cassian not to see her. She could miss him in peace and not constantly have to worry that he’d see how much she was hurting from his happiness.

“I wasn’t asking that,” he said scowling. “Are you going to be my friend, Jyn, after all this?”

“Of course,” she lied.

He shook his head and backed up again towards the door. “That easy, huh? Do you want me at all?”

That felt like a physical slap across the face. How could he possibly think she didn’t? And was he really fishing for compliments, when he was the one ending it? “Of course I fucking want you,” Jyn spat and then dug her fingernails into her arms to try and regain some sense. “I love you, but I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” he demanded.

“I can’t fucking compete, okay?” she hissed. “I can’t offer you what Nioma is offering. I can’t just pretend I’m ready to marry you no matter how badly I want to keep you. I love you, but I can’t compete.”

"Jyn,” he sighed out. “You don’t have to compete. Love isn’t a competition.”

She snorted, “Like hell it’s not. And I know I lost. I don’t have anything to bargain with.”

“Jyn, you never have to compete,” Cassian said firmly, slowly moving towards her again. “You never have to compete when you’ve already won. If you want me, you’ve won, always. I choose you every time.”

She searched his face looking for the joke. “I’m not offering you what you want.”

He shrugged stopping a step away from her. “I want you. I want you more than I want anything else. And if that means we never get married, never have kids, then so be it. I want those things, Jyn, I do, so badly, but I want you more. I thought maybe I couldn’t handle the wanting, but well, when Nioma offered it all to me I just wanted you.”

Jyn choked back a sob. She must have passed out and this was a dream. She didn’t get everything she’d fantasized about so easily. “I don’t want you to give up the things you want for me.”

“Jyn,” he said and his hand came up as if to reach for her and then dropped in the air between them. “Nioma was what I wanted at the time. I thought she was the love of my life. I did. And it wasn’t till you and I started this that I knew how wrong I was. You and me, Jyn. That’s what I want most of all.”

And something inside her shattered. When had anyone just wanted her, just the way she was, blemishes and all? “I don’t want you to settle for me,” she said and heard her own voice waver.

“Querida,” he soothed and suddenly he was in her space and his arms were around her. “You aren’t settling.”

“I’m not stupid,” she said pressing closer to him, she wanted to stop talking, wanted to accept this and bury herself in him and never question it again, but she knew she always would. She also didn’t want the half relationship they’d been in the last couple weeks. She didn’t want him just mostly happy, she wanted him stupid happy like the first time she’d told him she loved him. “I know it means something to you to be married. I know you want kids.”

“I can survive without,” he interrupted. “If it’s not with you, the wedding, the kids, it’s all meaningless. You’re my family. You’re enough. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to. I’m not exactly... I know I don’t have that much to offer.”

And what stupid Cassian nonsense was that? Not much to offer? He was perfect. Well, emotionally fucked up, and a workaholic, and overly cautious and damaged too, but perfect. A woman would have to be crazy not to want to marry him, and she couldn’t bear him thinking anything less.

“I want to marry you,” she admitted and felt him stiffen under her. He thought she was lying. “I do. Not right this second, but Cassian you’re the only one that ever made it seem worth it. You’re the only one that I’ve trusted really wouldn’t leave by choice.” She fisted her hands into the back of his shirt and buried her face in his chest. She was sweaty and she shouldn’t, but he didn’t push her away. “But I’m scared. Fuck, I’m always so pathetically scared, and I haven’t wanted anyone like I want you before. I mess things up.”

He kissed her head and pulled her closer. “I don’t want you to be scared or upset.”

“I don’t want you to be hurt or disappointed,” she countered.

“You’re more than I ever thought I could have.”

“You’re more than I ever thought I could keep.”

“I told her no,” he said softly. “You have me for as long as you want me, no conditions attached.”

She pushed him back a step and shook her head. She had to get it out now or they’d risk going back to that terrible half place. “I mean it. I want to marry you. Just not right now. I need time.”

He sighed. “You don’t have to do that. It’s ok if you don’t want that with me.”

“Cassian, I’m going to be with you till one of us fucking dies, ok?” she said firmly. “And that’s what scared me about marriage – signing up for that kind of hurt. But not getting married is clearly not going to protect me from that since the thought of losing you to Nioma already nearly destroyed me. I love you and I’m not going anywhere by choice so I’d like to do it as your wife. But I’m not ready to plan a wedding, or have Bodhi and Leia up my ass about it, or search for a new apartment away from our friends because nothing in the building ever opens up, or having to fucking buy grownup furniture and having like sanctioned date nights before we pop out kids and die. And I also call dibs on dying first and that’s non-negotiable.”

Cassian started to laugh and she crossed her arms and glared at him. “Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands. “I should have been more clear. I never wanted some 1950’s version of marriage, and certainly never even thought that was possible with you.” She flipped him off and he just smiled and reached out to take the offending hand and hold it. “I want to marry you because you’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want everyone else to know that. I want to be able to brag about how amazing my wife is, and I want you to be proud enough of me to do the same in return. I don’t want it to completely change our lives. I just want the whole world to know that I’m in it till the end with you. And you’re certainly not allowed to die first. I will settle with a mutual death in our sleep when we’re old and broken anyway.”

“I’m always proud of you,” she said simply. How could he ever think she wasn’t?

“Is that why we were sneaking around behind everyone’s backs?” he asked, but there was no real anger in it.

She shook her head violently. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I thought we were having fun?”

He shrugged, looking down as he played with her fingers. “We were at first.”

And it was her turn to reach out and tilt his face up to meet her eyes. “You’re the best man I’ve ever dated and one of the best I’ve ever known. The only reason I didn’t scream it from the rooftops was because, well, I would never do that, but also because I was waiting for you to figure out you didn’t want me, and I didn’t want to have to deal with everyone’s sympathy when you did. Cassian, are you nuts? You’re way better than I’ll ever deserve.”

He looked like he didn’t believe it, and she’d have to work on that, but then again they had the rest of their lives for that, didn’t they? Jyn let go of his hand and sank down to one knee, “Cassian Andor, will you marry me sometime in the next few years?”

Surprise dominated his features and then he broke out into one of those happy carefree smiles he so rarely gave, and she hadn’t seen in weeks, and dropped down to his knees in front of her reaching for her. “You tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll ask.”

“It better be better than the last proposal,” she sniffed allowing him to tug her into his arms.

“That wasn’t a proposal, dummy,” he laughed. “That was me giving you a fake ring to fuck with your screwed up family friend. I hardly think I can be judged on that.”

“You’re probably going to have to knock me up on accident for the kids,” Jyn said, and Cassian laughed again. Fuck, she’d missed that sound.

“Let’s just do one thing at a time, yeah?” He kissed the top of her head and she wrapped herself more firmly around him. “You also realize that we don’t have to completely up end our lives if we get married right? We can just kick Han or Leia out and still live across the hall from them? Shitty furniture and all.”

The thought had genuinely never occurred to her. “Han and Leia would kill each other.”

“Yeah, but that wouldn’t be our problem, and they do still owe us a favor” he countered. “We could get the locks changed and actually use them.”

“You make a persuasive argument. In fact, we could probably kick one of them out right now.”

“Leia is already at Han’s for movie night.”

Jyn snorted. “Like they’re doing movie night. They’re all sitting around talking about us.”

“Yeah,” Cassian agreed. “I didn’t exactly give them answers when I came looking for you. Just figured out they’d told you and you weren’t there, so I dropped a few expletives and bolted to the next place I could think that you would go.”

Jyn groaned. “Well, I guess we should get this over with.”

“Or we can just sneak into your apartment?”

“I thought you didn’t want to sneak around anymore.”

“Eh, one last time for old time’s sake doesn’t sound so bad.” He grinned at her and she pressed up on her knees intent on kissing him. His hand on her shoulder stopped her though and the grin had dropped off his face.

Her stomach turned over. “What?”

“Just to be upfront,” Cassian started looking a touch worried. “Nioma kissed me. I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t kiss her back, but, well, I didn’t want you to hear it later.”

Jyn narrowed her eyes at him and he flinched under the look. “You should sue her for sexual harassment.” He snorted, but seemed relieved. “I’m not going to get pissed at you for something she did. Hell, I can’t even blame her. I’d want to kiss you too if I’d been stupid enough to give you up.”

“Even though you were trying to do just that only moments ago?” he teased.

“Yeah, I lied. I was never going to be able to manage being just friends with you again,” she confided. “Because I was always going to want to do this.” Jyn pressed forward and kissed him hard.

Cassian didn’t hesitate, just wrapped her in his arms and pulled her closer to return the kiss enthusiastically. How had she ever thought, even for a second, she’d be able to survive without this? The kiss turned from harsh and fast to deep and needy quickly, and if she’d had any brain cells left to work with she’d marvel again at how easy Cassian could make her melt.  He pressed back on her and she went willingly down to the mat. He should try to kiss her when they sparred, he’d win every time. Cassian’s weight settled over her and she buried a hand in his hair, the other sliding up his back under his shirt. He nipped her lip in response and she whimpered.

A loud bang drove them apart, and Jyn glanced up to see Chirrut smiling serenely in the doorway. “No sex in the gym,” he sing-songed before walking away humming.

“I swear the man isn’t blind.”

Jyn shook her head and bumped her shoulder with his. “It’s fine. I need to shower anyway. If you haven’t noticed I’m sweaty and gross.”

“Noticed,” he said with a shrug, “Don’t care.”

“Well I do,” she said. “Meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes?”

“I’ll be there,” he said sincerely, and with more weight than just promising to wait to meet someone probably required. Jyn smiled and kissed him again before sprinting off for the locker room. She knew he’d be there waiting, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be away from him longer than she had to.

Even with the promise of the rest of their lives spent together, she didn’t want to miss a moment. The thought should scare her, and somewhere deep down it still did a bit, but the happiness was overwhelming all of that, and maybe that’s all love really was – the good outweighing the bad.

* * *

They made it to their floor and halfway in the door before they were caught, which really they should have seen coming. Their friends must have been on high alert for any noise in the hallway.

“Jyn,” Bodhi said sounding worried and then he took in the full scene. “And Cassian.” Cassian didn’t think he’d ever gotten such a dirty glare from Bodhi, and he restrained his laugh so as not to offend him. Bodhi just would never look scary no matter how hard he tried.

“He’s fine,” Jyn said, displaying their linked hands as proof.

“What happened?” Leia demanded as all their friends crowded the door.

“He clearly chose Jyn,” Kay said. “Are you all blind? They’d hardly be holding hands if he’d chosen to marry Nioma.”

“Obviously,” Leia said, “But we want the story.”

“It has to be better than this movie,” Luke joked.

“Nioma wanted him back, Cassian said no, and we’re still together,” Jyn said simply. “Leia, you’re going to want to stay at Han’s tonight.”

“You can’t force me,” Leia said, though Cassian could tell it was mainly just because she couldn’t help herself when a fight presented itself than actually wanting to come home. Still, he didn’t have time for this.

“Remember when you said you owed us for swapping rooms at the hotel during Bodhi and Luke’s wedding?” Cassian threw out. He was honestly willing to give up the future advantage to get Jyn alone immediately. What could he say? She had the uncanny ability to destroy his rational thought and strategic planning.

“Don’t waste that favor on this!” Jyn said cutting him off, clearly holding it together better than him. “Come on home, Leia. But I don’t plan to be quiet, so you can’t bitch about being scarred later.”

Cassian felt the heat crawl up the back of his neck and tried to play it cool. He had every intention of making her scream tonight, but he didn’t need that broadcast to their entire friend group and her brother.

“Gross,” Bodhi said frowning. “I mean, I’m happy for you both, but gross.”

“I’ll stay at Han’s,” Leia conceded.

“Great,” Jyn said shoving the door open further and fisting his shirt. “Oh, and I’m going to marry him one day. Not anytime soon, but one day. So get used to it and don’t badger us about it.”

Bodhi let out a little squeal of happiness. “We’re going to be brother-in-laws.”

“Congrats you two,” Luke said sincerely.

The blush rose up to Cassian’s cheeks. “Yeah, it’s good,” he said softly.

“I am both relieved and annoyed,” Kay said. “But does this at least mean we no longer need to continue watching the atrocity?”

“What are you talking about?” Cassian asked, confused.

“He means this movie,” Leia said rolling her eyes.

“Wild Wild West is a masterpiece. You just don’t understand,” Han argued.

“And on that note,” Jyn said tugging on him again. “We’re out.” She pulled him into her apartment and slammed the door. “Told you they’d be annoying.”

“I’ll live,” Cassian said, still smiling. Their friends were overly involved and highly opinionated on their best days, but at the end of it all everyone truly did want the best for each other.  All the same, he was going to have a word with them later about backing the hell off a little and letting them figure this out on their own. But that was not his first priority tonight. His hands slipped to her waist and pulled her closer. “You just told everyone you’re going to marry me.”

“I know,” she said grinning. “Does that turn you on?”

“Jyn.”

“Does it?”

“A little,” he admitted leaning forward and kissing her. He still wasn’t sure he wasn’t dreaming. When he’d left Nioma to find her he’d been thrilled just by the certainty that he could live without marriage or kids if he could have Jyn. To get to keep her and have her want to marry him? Well, he wasn’t even sure how to describe this giddy feeling. Jyn wanted to be with him, Jyn loved him, and Jyn wanted to marry him.

“Want me to wear the ring?” she asked when they broke the kiss and she started pulling him towards her room.

“You kept it?”

“I liked the way it looked,” she admitted softly.

“I’d rather save it,” he said pressing his forehead to hers. “For when it’s a real ring.”

“Yeah, you’ll definitely get laid that night,” Jyn said with a smirk.

He pressed her up against the frame of her bedroom door and kissed her again. He was pretty sure this evening couldn’t get more perfect and he was the luckiest man alive. Her hand snaked down the front of his pants and he groaned as she touched him directly. He had an entire lifetime of this to look forward to and he wasn’t sure that would be enough time. Cassian grabbed her wrist and tugged her hand away. “Slow down.”

She barked a laugh. “Speed up.”

“Don’t make me tie you down,” he teased.

Jyn shivered under his hands. “I’m not against it.”

And fuck if that didn’t put some images in his head. Jyn tied down and panting for him to finish her. “We’re going to do that,” he said pressing her back into the room and towards the bed. “But not tonight.”

“No?’ she asked jutting out her bottom lip.

“Something to look forward to,” he said softly. “I want you to touch me too.”

“You just stopped me from touching you,” she countered.

“Be more creative than going straight for my dick,” he laughed back.

“Your dick seems to like it.”

Always so direct, his Jyn. Fighting with her was useless so he decided to play dirty instead, gripping her hips and sinking into another kiss. He pressed her back towards the bed and broke the kiss to say, “I love you.”

“Cheater,” she accused burying her fingers in his hair and pressing her body up against his. He just smiled and attacked her neck with his lips. “I love you too. I’m glad you picked me.”

He pulled back to make eye contact with her, because he knew those words meant more than she’d ever let on. “Jyn, I will _always_ pick you. No exceptions. No expectations.”

“Have them,” she countered. “You deserve to have them. Just give me time.”

“Any time you need,” he said honestly. It felt good, to feel good about this, about them. He could never thank Nioma enough. It wasn’t that he’d stopped caring about getting married or having kids, but when he’d been offered everything he’d wanted he realized it was the person who he was marrying and who he was having kids with that mattered more than anything else, even if that meant the marriage and kids never happened.

Nioma had kissed him and he’d immediately wanted Jyn. Nioma offered everything, and the only thing he’d really wanted was Jyn. It’d been a clarifying moment that had broken his stupor of the past few weeks. He’d gently pushed Nioma away and felt bad when he’d seen her face break in understanding. She’d always been able to read people, a skill they shared.

“You don’t want this.” It’d been more of a statement than a question.

“Nioma,” he’d sighed. “If this had been a couple years ago, there would have been nothing I wanted more, but things changed.”

“Jyn.”

He’d nodded. “It’s different with her. Whatever she wants, it’s enough. She’s enough. I want her.”

Nioma had looked down at her lap and then given a deep sigh and stood. “Had to try. I’m sorry I missed my chance. I think we could have been really happy together.”

They’d awkwardly said goodbye and paid for their unfinished meals before departing, and Cassian had almost run home. He’d wanted to fix the distance that he’d placed between them the past few weeks, to tell Jyn that he didn’t care where she was at as long as she was with him, and yes, he’d always be a little sad she didn’t want more, but she was his family and she was enough and that was the end of that.

“Hey, you with me?” Jyn asked bringing him back to the moment.

He gave a soft laugh and a quick push sending her sprawling back on the bed behind her. “All the way. Gonna make you cum on my tongue.”

Jyn shivered under his hands as he worked her pants down her hips and her legs and he didn’t even fight his self-satisfied smile. He loved making her fall apart, loved knowing he did this for her better than anyone else. That he was going to be the only one who got to do it for the rest of their lives. Cassian dragged her closer to the edge of the bed and buried his face between her thighs, kissing and nipping at her legs. He dragged his tongue up her slit to her clit and was pleased to find her already wet. He closed his lips around her clit sucking gently as the tip of his tongue teased her and she gave a shuddering little cry that made his pants uncomfortably tight.

Her hands slid down to his on her hips and she laced their fingers together. He’d been about to add his fingers to his mouth, but he didn’t want to shake her off and he could be inventive. He crowded in closer and sank his tongue deeper into her before lapping at her clit again.

Her hands gripped his harder. “Cassian, fuck. You’re good at that.”

He gave her a little sound of encouragement since he wasn’t about to lift away from her to talk. She squirmed under his mouth and he had to pull one hand free to press his arm across her abdomen and gently hold her still as he worked her. She was so close already and he felt her come underneath him a moment later, soft little cries falling from her lips. He kissed her through the orgasm and only pulled back to look up at her when she ran a languid hand through his hair.

“Fast enough for you?” he teased.

“Oh shut up,” she scoffed back. “And don’t look so pleased with yourself. I haven’t gotten off properly in weeks, of course I came quickly.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

“Would you get up here?” she demanded and he stood up as she pushed herself up the bed and tugged her shirt over her head. She was on him quick enough, kissing his throat and shoving at his pants. He helped her get his clothes off and quickly found her straddling him, his erection pressed between them. “Want you inside me, don’t want to wait. Please?”

And how could he argue with that? He grinned and gave her a sharp nod before she pressed his shoulder so he laid back and lifted herself up and slid down on his cock in one quick thrust. Fuck, she was so hot, wet, and tight. His hands came up to grip her hips but not to restrict her movements. Jyn set up a quick pace, one hand on his shoulder to give her leverage, and he marveled at the sight above him and the feeling around him. She was the most brilliant thing that had ever happened to his life.

“Love you,” she panted and he tugged her closer throwing off her rhythm so he could kiss her.

“Love you too,” he replied. “You’re so fucking amazing.”

She laughed and smacked his chest arching back and creating quite the view. “Pro tip, you don’t have to flatter me when you’re already inside me.”

He frowned at that. “Just stating a fact.” She gave him a sarcastic uh-huh and he tightened his grip on her hips stopping her movements. “Let me up.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fuck now, talk later.” But he still held her stationary.

“Up,” he commanded again. “Wanna show you something.”

“Right now?!”

“Yes.” She frowned down at him, but lifted herself up and off of him swinging her leg back over so she was no longer straddling him, and he climbed off the bed and pulled her with him over to the full length mirror she had hanging on her wall.

“Cassian, what–”

“Hands here, please.” He shifted her in front of the mirror and braced her hands on the wall on either side of the mirror. Then he moved to stand behind her and traced a hand down over her breasts and her belly to her center. “You’re fucking amazing.” She gasped as his fingers slipped into her and started working her. He used his other hand to shove her hair to one side so he could kiss her neck before moving his hand down to caress her breast in time with his thrusting fingers.

“Cassian,” she gasped with a high waver to her voice. “I need more than your fingers.”

“Say it.”

“What?”

“Say you’re amazing.”

“Cassian, stop being stupid.”

“Say it.”

“Fuck me.”

He pressed closer to her and bit her earlobe, before whispering, “Say it.”

“I want you.”

“Then say it.”

She glared into the mirror at him over her shoulder and he pulled his fingers out to tease her clit lightly. Knowing it was not nearly enough for what she wanted or the state she was in. “Cassian, please.”

“Say it.”

“I’m amazing,” she hissed. “Are you happy?”

“Not really,” he said shaking his head. “Because you don’t mean it. But it’s a good start. We’ve got plenty of time to work on it.” And with that, blissfully, he positioned his cock and pressed back into her tight wet heat. Jyn gave a little cry and leaned harder on her hands her head lolling forward and her eyes slipping shut. “Eyes open,” he ordered and watched her blink them open in the mirror, pupils dilated with lust. “Watch how beautiful you are when you come.”

“Cassian.”

“I said, watch.” She whimpered and he started up a slow rocking pace, pulling almost fully out of her before plunging back in. He gripped her hips and sped up as her breathing quickened. “Jyn, are you watching?”

“Yes,” she panted.

“Look how well you take me,” he said driving into her. “We fit so perfectly. There’s nothing better than that. We were made for each other.”

One of her hands left the wall to reach back and dig into the hair at the base of his scalp and it was his turn to growl. “You feel so good,” she groaned.

He fingered her clit as he pumped into her. “You’re perfect.”

“Stop.”

“Right, working our way up to that,” he joked. She opened her mouth to say something snarky and he rode her a little harder stopping whatever words were about to come. “We’ll stick with amazing for now.”

She gave a breathless little laugh and moved her hand back to the wall shifting her hips to give him a better angle to hit her g-spot. They found their rhythm and he was getting close. He snaked a hand back around to play with her clit, applying the pressure he knew she liked and thrusting a little harder. Jyn panted his name and then ‘I love you’ and then she crumpled forward a bit coming eye to eye with herself in the mirror as she came hard her body rippling around him and dragging him over the edge too. His balls tightening before he unloaded deep inside her. His thrusts slowed as the last of his cum shot out into her, and he kissed her temple, before gently pulling out of her. Thick drops of cum started to leak from her pussy and he reached a hand to cup her before they made a mess of her bedroom floor. Jyn let herself be dragged back from the wall to lean her full weight against him and he enjoyed the physical manifestation of her trust in him. He hoped they’d be 80 and doing things that would scandalize their grandchildren.

“We should get cleaned up,” he said softly.

“Can’t,” she sighed leaning even more heavily against him. “Legs are broken.”

Cassian chuckled at her overdramatics. “I can try to pick you up, but I’ll probably kill us both.”

“Just leave me in a puddle.”

He kissed her hairline around his grin. “Come on, we can revisit team showering.”

Her head rolled back on his shoulder to look up at him and she beamed. “You’ll wash my hair?”

“I should have never told you that,” he teased. “Yes, if you can make your legs work long enough to get to the bathroom I’ll wash your hair too.”

Jyn grinned and broke away from him bolting for the bathroom with a playful “Race you there,” thrown over her shoulder. He laughed and chased after her with no intention to try to win. As far as he was concerned, he already had.

* * *

He was almost asleep when she spoke again.

“Cassian?”

He pressed his nose deeper in her hair and hummed his acknowledgement.

“I’ve thought about it,” she said simply. “And when we’re both ready, I want you to talk to my father before you ask me to marry you.”

Wakefulness rushed through his system and brought him back to his full facilities. Jyn did not strike him as a woman who’d want him to ask her father’s approval for her hand in marriage. He struggled for something neutral. “Is that so?”

She nodded against his shoulder, but didn’t say anything more. After a few minutes he honestly thought she’d gone to sleep, but her quiet voice broke the silence again. “He told me once that he saved her rings for me.”

Cassian swore he stopped breathing for fear of putting her off. He didn’t have to ask who the ‘her’ she referred to was, and he certainly didn’t want to scare her off sharing.

“I didn’t want to hear it at the time,” she continued. Her arm tightened around his waist and he tentatively pulled her in closer. “Even now,” she trailed off. Then he felt her steel herself, her body pressed up against him going ramrod straight and bracing for a blow. “But that’s the ring I want. It’s from the same stone as my necklace. You should talk to him. He’ll give it to you.”

And that more than anything else she’d said tonight convinced him she was serious. Jyn didn’t talk about her mother lightly, didn’t let people share that pain with her. For her to tell him this cost her something, and she wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t really, really want it and really, really trust him.

“Then that’s the ring you’ll have,” he said softly running fingers through her still damp hair. She relaxed into him again and he kissed the crown of her head. “Love you, Jyn.”

She made a small, content little noise and snuggled into him further murmuring back her own terms of endearment before finally slipping off to sleep.

* * *

“Can’t we just like turn on the news or something?” Jyn asked swinging her legs slightly and letting her bare heels bounce against the cabinet door.

“You don’t have any television other than streaming,” Cassian scoffed moving around the kitchen like he owned it. To be fair, he probably knew it better than Jyn who just let someone else feed her, made sandwiches, or ordered out. “And I highly doubt you have any news programs on there. Besides televised news is biased shit.”

Jyn sighed. “So is print news.”

“Not if you find the really boring stuff,” he said shooting her a grin. “So Reuters it is – all the facts, none of the value judgments.”

Jyn rolled her eyes at him. “Fine.” She navigated to the site on her phone. “What do you want first?”

Cassian shrugged and started pulling stuff out of the fridge. “Whatever the top stories are. Are you sure Leia won’t care if we use her food?”

“Not as long as we replace it,” Jyn answered scanning the headlines.

“We’re going grocery shopping later today and getting you actually ingredients and food of your own.”

“Waste of time, won’t use it.”

“No, but I will,” he answered easily. “Better than stealing Leia’s food all the time.”

“You going to be here often or something?” she teased shooting him a smile.

“Not if the tenant continues to be a brat about free home-made breakfast.”

“Hey, you picked me,” she defended and he stopped on his way to the stove and kissed her.

“Yes, I did.”

She felt that warm glow take over her whole body again and ducked her head focusing back on her phone. If Cassian wanted her to read the news to him, she’d read the news to him till she got old and blind, and even then she was sure she could figure something out. She picked the top story and started in as he puttered around the kitchen chopping things up and throwing ingredients in a pan.

“THIS is what I was talking about,” a voice suddenly announced and they both glanced towards the entranceway of the kitchen to find Leia grinning. “This is the kind of adorable I thought the two of you would be.”

“You need something?” Jyn asked glaring and trying to ignore her growing blush.

“Other than witnessing the domestic bliss of Cassian Andor cooking breakfast while his girlfriend reads him the morning news?” Leia asked happily. “Nope.”

“Go back to Han’s,” Jyn demanded.

“Han is a shit chef,” Leia answered plopping herself down at the kitchen table. “Besides that’s my food, and I should reap some of the rewards.”

“I’m making more than we can eat anyway. You know they’re all going to be creeping over eventually. We didn’t give them enough time to interrogate us last night,” Cassian said watching her closely.

He was waiting for her to bolt or panic. Jyn was surprised to find there wasn’t even the slightest bit of hesitation in her. Cassian wanted her and she wanted him, and he was willing to give her whatever time she needed. Let the jokes fly. And if anyone wanted to push them or get overly involved in the relationship, well she’d never met anyone who could shut someone down faster than Cassian Andor. And he would, for her, always. So much risk, but so much reward. “Fine, text the idiots and tell them to come.”

“Don’t have to,” Leia said gleefully as she stood up and moved towards the door. “Luke and Bodhi slept in Cassian’s room and Kay crashed out on the couch. I was just advanced intelligence. Han and Kay claimed they’d seen quite enough of both of you, and Bodhi claimed he’d never recover from walking in on his sister being violated.”

“You’re all morons,” Jyn growled.

Leia just laughed and left the door open crossing the hall and throwing the other apartment door open. “Coast is clear and Cassian is cooking.” A general grumble of appreciation sounded from across the hall and everyone started filtering out.

“You should poison them,” Jyn hissed. Cassian laughed and moved around her to grab a spatula, stopping to kiss her.

“You said they were not fornicating.”

“We’re not, Kay,” Cassian called moving back and giving Jyn the benefit of a small eye roll.

“They’re being cute,” Leia clarified.

“Or gross depending on who you ask,” Han put in.

“Leave them alone,” Bodhi practically cooed. “I’ll kill any of you if you fuck it up. Cassian is like the perfect brother-in-law. And he’s going to be such a good uncle.”

It took a minute for that to register. “Bodes?” Jyn asked while Leia’s mouth dropped open.

Luke caught on to their thoughts faster than Bodhi did. “Not yet, obviously, but we want to adopt someday.”

Jyn gave a little squeal and leapt off the counter tugging her brother into a hug as Leia did much the same with her own.

“There,” Bodhi whispered in her hair. “That should divert some of the attention.”

Jyn bit her lip and squeezed him harder. She did not deserve him. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Leia was already attacking Luke with questions as they broke apart and Han was already lamenting the death of their social circle and fun once a crying baby came along. It would certainly do the trick.

“Congrats,” Cassian said smiling as he gave Bodhi his own hug. “You’ll be a great dad.”

“Yeah, well,” Bodhi said blushing. “Pay it forward and all that right? I don’t know what I would have done if Galen hadn’t taken me in.”

“The process takes time,” Luke said cutting through the noise. “Especially for couples like us.”

And that started the conversation down an entirely different road. Jyn stepped back and took the madness in as her friends shouted over each other and Cassian moved about the kitchen and she couldn’t help acknowledging how right this felt. Happy warmth bubbled up in her and she moved up next to Cassian and pressed against his side. “Can I help?”

“Wanna chop those veggies?” he asked shooting her a quick smile.

“Sure.”

“You’re happy?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” she said. “Extremely. You?”

He grinned. “Extremely.”

She bumped her hip against his and went back to chopping. Yes, she could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, love fixes everything... or they're both still probably screwed up a little but at least they're on the same page about it! Only the epilogue to go.


	14. The One Where Nothing Ever Really Changes

**5 Years Later**

“So I download this app,” Jyn said, moving into the group and interrupting his conversation. “And we need to go home and fuck now.”

Cassian cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say to that and smooth it over with the three men he’d been talking to who look positively scandalized. He had nothing. “Sorry,” he said instead. “Inside joke between me and my wife.” He gave them a weak smile and put a hand on her lower back to lead her away. He could practically hear them whispering as they exited.

“So we’re going?”

“Jyn, what is actually wrong with you?” he asked, exasperated. He knew she didn’t want to be here, but generally she found something more subtle than _that_ to express her displeasure.

“What do you care what they think?” Jyn demanded and then narrowed her eyes at him. “Were you trying to recruit them for ‘the cause’?”

“They’ve got a shit ton of money and nothing to do with it,” he defended.

“Gross,” Jyn argued. “You don’t want their dirty money.”

He shrugged. “Money is money, and most of it’s dirty. At least the dirty money would be being used for good for once.”

“They’ll fuck you over long term,” Jyn said firmly. “Trust me, they’re all like Krennic.”

“Yeah, well that’s Organa’s problem to manage not mine,” he argued. If he was going to be forced to come to her father’s birthday party thrown by Orsen Krennic and be surrounded by a bunch of rich stuffy old white men, he might as well get some funding out of it. Jyn kept tugging him towards the door. “You don’t actually mean to leave do you?” They’d only been there a half hour.

“Well it’s that or fuck in the coat closet,” she said with a shrug.

“What are you on about?”

“The app thingy,” Jyn clarified, “It said I’m fertile now, so if you’re going to pump a baby in me, this is our window.”

Cassian nearly tripped and spilled his drink. It’d taken a solid two years before Jyn was ready for him to propose and in the past three years they’d barely even touched on children. “Jyn, are you drunk?”

“No,” she defended, glaring. “Leia recommended this app that tells you when you’re fertile, not that I asked, and that time is now.”

“And how long have you been tracking this?” he asked, wondering if he was dreaming.

“Since like two minutes ago,” she said with a careless shrug. “You just plug in your periods and it figures it out for you.”

“And why did you start tracking this two minutes ago?”

“I was talking to Krennic,” she said and he groaned. Nothing good ever came of that, their relationship notwithstanding. “And he was going on and on about how we were three years out and that’s when the cracks start to show, especially after a shotgun wedding and having such a ‘long and dubious’ engagement.”

Cassian sighed. Krennic loved nothing more than pointing out how long their engagement had been, which really it hadn’t been, but seemed that way to Krennic since they’d lied to him. It also hadn’t been a shotgun wedding. They’d just done things they’re own way. When Jyn had quietly confided to him one night that she wouldn’t mind if he was still interested in getting married, he’d immediately approached her dad about the ring. He proposed to her one week later at the pizza place they’d had their first date at. It seemed somehow appropriate that they ended up keeping the engagement quiet. Instead, three weeks after he popped the question, they’d invited all their friends and family to a “surprise” birthday party for Cassian – Jyn had claimed it’d make it easier to remember their anniversary that way because two separate dates were too much, to which he’d rolled his eyes – at the Millennium Falcon and they’d shocked everyone by announcing they were getting married that night and having an officiant on hand. They’d gotten married ten minutes after announcing it and immediately moved on to drinking and dancing. It was perfect. And even better because Krennic would not have expected an invite to Cassian’s birthday and thus was not invited at all.

“Exactly,” Jyn hissed glaring at the other side of the room where he could only assume Krennic was standing. “So I told him we’d started trying for a baby.”

Cassian sputtered, trying to form a response. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” she said. “And if it takes us too long then I’ll have to hear about that too. Probably something about inferior sperm or something. So you’ve got to knock me up quick.”

“Jyn, I’m not sure this is the best reason to have a baby.”

“It wasn’t the best reason to get into a relationship either, but that worked out.”

“You’re still on the pill,” he said, trying to reason with her.

Jyn shrugged. “I haven’t taken it yet today so I just won’t. It’s not ideal, but it’s a start. You never know.”

“Jyn, we’re not having a baby to spite Orsen Krennic.”

Her bottom lip went out in that pout that always made him make stupid decisions. “I don’t see the problem. You want one anyway. And I get to shove it in Krennic’s face. It’s win-win.”

“Besides the whole having a human life you’re responsible for for at least 18 years thing,” he countered.

“But can you imagine Krennic’s face for those 18 years? He’d get that puckered, displeased look that makes me laugh.”

Cassian shook his head. “Let’s get you a drink.”

“It isn’t good for the baby,” she whined following him to the bar.

“Jyn.”

“Krennic will comment if he sees.”

“You aren’t pregnant.”

“But we’re trying.”

“No we aren’t, you weirdo.”

“Only because you won’t fuck me in the coat closet.”

“I distinctly remember you telling me I was going to have to knock you up on accident.”

“Yeah, well,” Jyn said, looking anywhere but directly at him. “I’m less opposed to the idea now than I was back then.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow. This was the first he was hearing of it. Not that that meant anything. Jyn could have stuff brewing internally for a long time before it ever surfaced. They both had that issue no matter how much progress they made trying to be better about it, at least with each other. Regardless it was still best to approach carefully. “Less opposed to the idea in the last fifteen minutes or longer than that?”

Her gaze flickered up to him and she twisted her wedding ring on her finger – a habit that had joined touching her mother’s necklace – and often indicated her uncertainty. “I mean the last fifteen really solidified it, but maybe a little longer than that.”

And it was so Jyn to start an important conversation in a totally inconvenient place prompted by rage. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to that admission with his stomach turning over in anticipation and nervous excitement. He’d like nothing more than to have a child with Jyn, but he’d made a commitment to himself not to push her on it. He would be happy if it was just the two of them till the end of their days. “You know it’s something I want if you do, but I don’t want you doing this because of anyone else – including thinking it’s something I need, because I don’t.”

“You do,” she said softly, glancing up to meet his eyes.

“What?”

“I’ve seen you with Rey, and Ben, and Poe,” Jyn clarified shifting on her feet. “It’d be a crime against humanity to not let you be a dad.”

He shook his head. “Jyn, no. I’m fine being an uncle and a godfather. There’s no pressure.”

“Crime. Against. Humanity.”

He laughed and tugged her closer to him kissing her forehead. “I’m telling you it doesn’t matter.”

“It does too,” Jyn said. “We need to make something that can counter the terror that is Han Solo’s spawn. Poe is too far away since they moved upstate, and Rey is too sweet, which with Bodhi and Luke as parents she’s probably going to stay that way.”

She wasn’t wrong. Ben was three and Rey two, and it was supposed to be Rey in the terrible twos, but she never seemed to hit it and Ben never seemed to leave it. The last time he and Jyn had watched them Ben had made a game of stealing anything that brought Rey joy and the little girl would get watery eyed each time, but simply decide to play with something new before Ben stole that too. By the end of that play date, Jyn had been so enraged on Rey’s behalf that he’d had to take Ben to run errands for lack of a better solution. Jyn loved her best friend’s son, but it was clear to him she loved her niece slightly more. To be fair, Rey was the more easily loveable of the two. He could admit, at least secretly, that coming home one night to Jyn and Rey curled up on the couch asleep together had tugged on the heartstrings. Rey loved her Auntie Jyn, and Jyn would literally murder half the world for her niece.

“We can help with Rey,” he said finally. “We don’t have to have our own.”

“I want our own,” Jyn blurted out and then immediately flushed red. “I mean, if you still do.”

Hope he’d tried to keep locked down blossomed in his chest. “Of course I do, but only if it’s something you want for yourself, not just to piss off Krennic. I can help once the kid is here, but you’ll have to do the heavy lifting on the front end.”

Jyn snorted and buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Considering how Leia’s hormones were you’ll have to do more than that at the beginning too. And you’ll have to feed me.”

“I already feed you.”

“You’ll have to feed me at all hours with no complaints. And any combination of food I want.”

“Not a problem.”

She looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. “I’ll probably be an awful pregnant lady with terrible mood swings that make you want to leave me. And you know how much I hate throwing up. Then there’s that gross way your boobs leak afterwards.”

He couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Stop talking me out of it.”

“You’ll probably have to shave my bikini line too,” she said, doubling down. “Leia said by the end she couldn’t even do that properly.”

Cassian buried his nose in his ridiculous wife’s hair. “If you carry a human being inside you for nine months and have all your internal organs squished into almost oblivion, I promise to shave your bikini line and make you pickle milkshakes. I’ll even throw in foot massages.”

“So…” Jyn started looking up at him between her lashes. “Are we fucking in the coat closet then?”

He laughed again and pulled away from her. “Our child is not being created in a coat closet.”

“But it’d be so badass,” Jyn argued. “Way better than Han knocking Leia up on their honeymoon in Hawaii. That’s so basic.”

“I’m not sure a coat closet at your dad’s birthday party is technically badass.”

“It’s more badass than home and missionary.”

“I would hope the child never actually knew the details of their conception.”

“Well yeah, but we’d know and that’s worth something.”

“Fine, we’ll think of something cool,” he conceded. “But I think it’s going to have to wait till next month. I don’t think 24 hours off the pill is going to cut it.”

“Shara was like insta-fertile,” Jyn argued. “They tell you if you miss one pill to be careful.”

“We’re not fucking in the coat closet.”

“But Krennic is by the hallway that we’d have to pass by to get there,” Jyn countered. “Imagine his face if I dragged you passed him. In fact, we don’t even have to have sex, we could just act like we’re going to.”

“If I have to have one more conversation about the stock market I’m going to scream,” a voice broke in.

“Hey Bodes,” Jyn said easily, reaching out to embrace her brother. “Luke. When did you guys get here?”

“Fifteen minutes ago and it’s been awful. It’s a good thing Luke and Cassian never experienced these types of parties before they married us or they never would have.”

“I don’t know, Cassian seems to be having a good time.”

“Is he drunk?”

“He’s hitting them up for money.”

“Ewwww.”

Cassian shrugged. “What do you think keeps campaigns financed? Small donations from the average upstanding American doesn’t cut it. I didn’t create the game. If they’re going to dump their money into something, might as well be a good cause.”

“Next time you should bring Leia instead of me,” Luke said. “She and Cassian can work the room together.”

“It’s that or talk about stock markets,” Cassian said pointedly.

“I gave you an alternative option,” Jyn argued.

“For the last time, no.”

“What’s the alternative option? I’ll take it if it gets me out of here,” Bodhi said and Cassian couldn’t stifle his laugh. “What?”

“Cassian refuses to have sex with me in the coat closet.”

Bodhi rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah, because it’s rude. People wear those coats, Jyn.”

“Fine, guess you’ll never have another niece or nephew,” Jyn said crossing her arms. Bodhi’s eyes went wide.

“You’re trying?”

“She told Krennic we were to piss him off,” Cassian clarified.

“So you’re trying,” Bodhi said blithely. “We’ll get our coats back from coat check and then have at it.”

“Honestly, Galen did something wrong with the two of them for them to have turned out like this,” Luke said with a laugh.

“I thought you wanted kids, Cassian,” Bodhi accused.

“I do.”

“Then why aren’t you currently knocking my sister up?”

“Yeah, what he said!” Jyn demanded.

“They’re both impossible,” Cassian said looking at Luke and ignoring the siblings who he knew were just trying to get a reaction out of him. “Luke, want to grab another drink? It’s clearly going to be a long night.”

“You’re pregnant?” a voice broke in. Cassian barely contained a groan as Jyn’s father joined their conversation.

“Krennic complained to you, didn’t he?” Jyn asked, obviously delighted.

“He may have said something.”

“What did he say?” Jyn demanded, hearing the implied insult and quickly turning back to rage.

“I’d rather not repeat it,” Galen said. “But are you pregnant?”

“Not yet,” Jyn said glaring. “Cassian won’t knock me up.”

“I thought you wanted children,” Galen accused turning his attention to Cassian. And the part of his brain trained to identify any information of note supplied the interesting fact that he was pretty sure he’d never told Galen that, in which case Jyn must have discussed it with him.

“I do,” Cassian defended. “Your daughter only approached me with the opportunity about ten minutes ago, after she concluded her conversation with Krennic. I’m not sure what you all are expecting me to do with that short of a time frame.”

“You could both head home,” Galen said. “I wouldn’t be offended.”

“Hey!” Bodhi interjected. “They get to leave, but we have to stay?”

“You already provided a granddaughter,” Galen said, waving off Bodhi’s concern.

“Rude,” Bodhi retorted.

“I’m not waiting for him to change his mind,” Jyn crowed, giving her father a quick hug and then grabbing Cassian’s wrist and tugging. “Happy birthday, Papa.” She dragged Cassian past her family and towards the door. Though she stopped long enough to shoot Krennic a glowing smile and a wave that left the man sputtering all over again.

“Jyn,” Cassian forced out around a laugh. “Coats.”

“I thought you didn’t want to?” she asked turning at the door and lifting an eyebrow.

“I don’t, you freak,” he said giving her a full laugh. “We need to get our coats from the coat check. Don’t worry, I’ll do it.” He headed back down the hall quickly to collect them and met her back at the door, helping her to slide into hers. Jyn leaned her weight against him as she settled into her coat and he smiled indulgently and stood there supporting her.

“I can’t believe you were trying to recruit those people.”

“Gonna divorce me?” he teased.

“How much were you going to take them for?”

“Lots,” he said simply. “If you hadn’t interrupted.”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll get them next time,” he said softly kissing her temple.

“Take me home, Cassian.”

* * *

She entered their bedroom and smiled. She should probably give him a hard time about the fact that she’d been promising him sex and he fell asleep reading while she was in the bathroom, but he was so cute all slouched over and his book half falling off the bed dangling out of his hand.

Jyn quietly moved forward and pulled the book from his lax fingers before setting it on his nightstand. He looked so sweet and relaxed that she probably shouldn’t disturb him. Still… she was the only reason he was home and comfortable this early at all. “Cassian?” she whispered pressing his hair out of his face. He gave a quiet grunt and rolled over away from her.

A laugh bubbled up in her and she stood up. Cassian was the one who always wanted kids, no matter how much he tried to keep it to himself, and here she was offering and the stupid ass had fallen asleep.

She shook her head and crawled into bed next to him pressing up against him and wrapping her arms around his waist. He didn’t react and she kissed his neck. She fucking loved this stupid man. It was a relief to have said it – that she was open to having kids – it was terrifying and thrilling all at once. She still wasn’t convinced she’d be a good mom or wouldn’t fuck them up, but Cassian would cover for her like he always did. They filled in each other’s faults. The thought of him dying and leaving her and a baby alone started to creep in and crank up her doubt and she pushed it away. Papa was many things but a good liar wasn’t one of them.

It’d been one of those rare moments six months ago where her and her father were alone and his attention was solely focused on her when she’d admitted that Cassian wanted children and she wasn’t sure what she wanted. She’d confided her fears that she couldn’t do it without Cassian if something were to happen. Her father rarely talked about her mother, and she never forced him since it seemed to hurt him so, but in that moment he’d looked at her and told her not to be stupid – that the only thing he could imagine being worse than losing her mother was never having her. She’d never forget how earnest he was when he told her that despite not always being the perfect father, he’d never regretted having her. That she couldn’t let fear rule her life and stop her from having the things she wanted most. Bad shit happened, but if you didn’t live in the moments in between nothing would happen at all and that was far far worse.

“Cassian?” He didn’t react and she repeated his name louder.

“Hmmm?”

“You awake?”

“No.”

“You’re supposed to be putting a baby in me,” she said simply.

He chuckled and pulled her closer. “I thought we were supposed to think of somewhere cool?”

“We could fuck on the fire escape?”

“It’s freezing out.”

“I’m starting to question how badly you want children considering you’re never willing to have sex with me.”

“I’ve only rejected you in semi-public places,” Cassian countered. “Over the course of approximately two and a half hours since you started wanting children.”

“I’ve wanted them longer than that,” she admitted quietly.

He bent his head to press his lips against hers. “The probability of you getting pregnant tonight is very low.”

“Ok, Kay,” she said sarcastically.

He laughed and dug his fingers into a ticklish spot he’d long-ago discovered that had her laughing and squirming away. His hands quickly flattened on her sides and pulled her back in gently. “You really want this?”

And she couldn’t blame him for double-checking. She’d said a lot of impulsive things fueled by rage over the years, but this wasn’t one of them. Well, sure maybe in that moment with Krennic, but she’d been contemplating it before that. “I want a boy,” she said simply.

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“So I don’t have to explain periods,” she said with a shrug. “And you have to handle the birds and the bees talk.” He laughed and she ran her hands up his chest to cup his face. “And because the world could use more men like you.” Cassian blushed slightly and she reveled in it, pressing forward to kiss him.

“Maybe one of each?” he asked softly and Jyn rolled her eyes.

“First he doesn’t want to fuck me in the coat closet or on the fire escape and now he wants two.”

“We need a girl,” he said, ignoring her taunting.

“Yeah, why’s that?”

“Because the world could use more women like you too,” he said and she scoffed. “Don’t you dare.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re doubting me.” She made a non-committal noise and pressed her face into his shoulder. “The only daughter I want is one who will dig in the dirt, and hit as hard as any of the boys, and still play with dolls, and be so fiercely loyal to her loved ones it’s scary, and still love anything with sparkles on it.” Jyn punched him in the arm hard. Her love of sparkles was a well-kept secret that no one needed to know about. “Although she could perhaps be a little more open to compliments than you are.”

“Shut up.”

“Jyn, the world could always use more of you.”

“Twins then,” she joked to hide her embarrassment. It didn’t matter how many times he told her how amazing he thought she was, it would always make her squirm a little.

“Works for me,” he said lifting himself up and pressing her back into the mattress.

“That’s a lot of diapers.”

“Even more squished internal organs,” he said leaning down to kiss her. “I can take diaper duty.”

Jyn laughed. “Super sexy. You’re really getting me going.”

“Yeah? Wait till you see the way I handle spit up.”

“You’re talking me out of this.”

“At least you’ll probably produce something with your taste in TV shows,” he teased. “So I could occasionally get out of watching them.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” he argued. “You love me.”

“Eh.”

“Jyn.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Oh? Just a little.”

“Yeah, only a little.”

“Guess I can go to sleep then,” he said plopping back down and closing his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll ask Kay to knock me up instead. Papa will be thrilled with the little brainiac babies that makes.”

“I wish you the best of luck,” Cassian said keeping his eyes closed and waving a dismissive hand in the air. The smile curling his lips said he knew better though. “I’m curious to see what seduction techniques you employ to get Kay into bed.”

Jyn glared. “Well, I better hurry then. I’m told this ovulation thing doesn’t last forever.” She made a move to get off the bed and his arm shot out dragging her back and on top of him so her back laid against his chest and her head fell into the perfect spot against his shoulder so she could bury her nose in his neck. Hands stroked down over her and she smiled. “Better let me go. Kay lives across town.”

A hand came up to touch her breast as the other one slipped under the nighty she’d put on that she’d purchased for his birthday last year and she knew he liked. Cassian made a pleased noise underneath her when he found her bare below it. “Tell me you love me.”

Jyn laughed. “You’re so needy.”

His hand cupped her and his palm applied delicious pressure. “Yes, and?”

“I love you,” she said with a smile and was promptly rewarded with his fingers sliding into her slit. She arched her back and let out a gasp she knew would turn him on. His other hand came up to her hip pulling her down tighter and pressing her ass into his groin. She could feel him getting hard and rocked her hips to create additional friction. She was going to have a baby with this needy, ridiculous, perfect man. Maybe not tonight, but definitely one night soon. The thought made her giddy instead of panicky. Whatever was coming in the future they’d handle it together as a team.

Cassian kissed her neck and worked her as she squirmed on top of him. Even after all these years he could get her going so easily. If anything, he’d just gotten better at it because he’d slowly discovered every little secret thing and spot that turned her on. Not that the same couldn’t be said in reverse.

“As lovely as this is,” she panted. “It certainly is not going to knock me up.”

He laughed and pushed her up and off of him. “Get on the floor on your hands and knees.”

“On the floor?”

“What? You can fuck in the coat closet but the floor is weird?”

Jyn rolled her eyes, but got off the bed and did as he requested. She was open to seeing where this was going. Cassian reached over to the side table grabbing her phone and followed her off the bed. He reached out to position her how he liked, shoving her nighty up around her hips with an appreciative hum, before putting the phone in video mode and laying it down underneath her between her spread knees giving it a perfectly lewd view of her pussy.   He pressed his own sleep pants down quickly and slid his hard cock into her in one long slow thrust that she watched eagerly on the video.

“Kinky enough for you?”

“Don’t act like you’re not going to want me to send you the video after,” she said, working to get the words out as he started thrusting. And that was her Cassian, always thinking ahead. Their movements on the bed would have definitely jostled the phone out of position.

Cassian kissed her shoulder and grabbed her hips setting up a steady pace that had her moaning. She pushed back harder trying to make him speed up and he just gave her a soft huff of a laugh and slowed down just to taunt her.

“Cassian.”

He chuckled. “Yes, querida?”

“You know what I want,” she growled.

“Harder and faster?” he asked innocently.

“Yes, please.”

“Can’t say no to that.” He reached a hand up to curl his fingers in her hair and tug her head back firmly in a way he knew she liked before shifting to push into her at just the angle and speed that always sent her quickly tumbling towards the edge.

Jyn panted a series of ‘yeses’ and then an ‘oh god’ when he released her hair to grab both of her hips and somehow pound into her even firmer and faster.

A buzzing sound cut into their rhythm and Jyn blinked, glancing down to spot her phone lighting up with a call. “Leia.”

“Name’s Cassian.” Jyn rolled her eyes and bucked back against him off beat.

“She must have heard from Luke already.”

“You want to facetime her?”

Jyn laughed and reached a hand back to press at his chest. Cassian backed up and slipped out of her as she reached for her phone. She hit ignore and tossed the phone away on her nightstand; the prospect of a video didn’t seem nearly as enticing anymore.

Jyn rose and turned to face him finally reaching down to remove her nightie completely. “Come here.” She shifted back to sit on the bed, and he stood and mirrored her actions stripping off the last of his clothes. He moved closer and she reached up to pull him down on top of her and wrap her legs around his waist.

“Thought home and missionary was boring?”

“Nothing is ever boring with you.”

“Not even that documentary on how to build a birch bark canoe?”

“Fair point,” Jyn conceded. “That was boring. But so far you haven’t failed me in the bedroom.”

“High praise.” He pressed forward and entered her again and she gave an appreciative hum. The phone started buzzing again, this time a call from Shara, and Jyn rolled her eyes. So the word was definitely out and making its way through their friend group. She honestly didn’t understand what it was about humanity that made couples want all their friends to be coupled up and parents want all their friends to be parents too.

“Not sure how our friends expect me to get pregnant if they won’t leave us alone to fuck,” she commented sourly. Jyn loved them all, but she was never going to appreciate their meddling.

Cassian reached past her head for the phone and turned it off. “Problem solved.”

“You know they’ve probably already started a group text that doesn’t include us theorizing about due dates and baby names.”

“Jyn,” he said softly nuzzling her neck. “We don’t have to do this. Not now, not ever if you don’t want.”

She shook her head and dug her fingers into his back to keep him close. “I want to. Just wish everyone would mind their business.”

“We’ll make new friends tomorrow. I’m pretty sure there’s an app for that.”

Jyn laughed and relaxed underneath him once more. Cassian kissed her and started moving again, pressing her leg up higher on his waist and rocking against her in a way that sent little bolts of electricity up and down her body. They matched each other perfectly and Cassian kissed her again as she came, swallowing down her moans before finishing himself. He left some of his weight on her for a moment before rolling off.

“Pillow,” Jyn said.

“What?”

“Hand me a pillow.”

“Why?”

“You’re supposed to put it under your hips after and stay still for fifteen minutes.”

“Who told you that?”

“I overheard some women talking about it at the next table when Shara and Leia dragged me out to brunch.”

“Not sure that’s a sound medical source,” Cassian snorted, but grabbed the pillow and helped her get it underneath her all the same. “Are you going to do this every time then?”

Jyn shrugged and glanced over at him. “Why? Is it turning you off?”

“The only thing you do that turns me off is when you drink directly from the milk carton.”

“We make out all the time.” It was a well-worn argument between them.

“Backwash is not the same thing, Jyn.”

“You’ve literally licked my vagina, but you’re worried about a little spit in your milk?”

“It is non-consensual spit, Jyn.”

She laughed and reached for him lacing her fingers through his. “Get over here, you idiot.” He rolled closer and slid an arm underneath her pressing his forehead against her temple and making her smile. “Are you happy?”

Cassian huffed a laugh into her hair. “Yes. Are you?”

“Yes,” she answered using her free hand to press his hair out of his face. “Just checking.” They were quiet for a few moments, just relaxed and content. “You know what would be great?”

“Hmmm?” It was barely understandable. He was clearly drifting off to sleep again.

“Pancakes.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Cassian,” she said poking at his cheek.

“What?” he said blinking his eyes back open.

“I want pancakes.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now. I didn’t get any food at the party.”

“And there’s nothing else you could possibly eat?”

“Cassian,” she whined. “You said you’d make me whatever food I wanted whenever I wanted when I’m pregnant.”

Cassian snorted. “You’re not pregnant.”

“Technically I could be. We won’t know till I get my next period.” She stared at him and he stared back. He blinked first.

“You’re going to do this every time we have sex from now on, aren’t you?”

“You promised,” she said innocently.

“This is only going to work after sex when you’re ovulating.”

“Deal.” Cassian gave an overdramatic sigh and got up pulling on a shirt and sweats before heading towards the door. “I love you,” Jyn shouted after him and he gave her an exasperated wave, but he was still smiling. Yep, this pregnancy thing might not be so bad after all.

“You want chocolate chips in these?” he shouted from the other room.

“Obviously!” In fact, the future was looking pretty great. She heard pans clatter in the kitchen and grinned. She still wasn’t sure why Cassian put up with her, but she was pretty delighted he did. The first advice she was going to give their baby was to fall in love with your best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Hope the last chapter of fluff and sex fulfilled the quota. I'll miss these two and all of your comments - will have to figure out a new story sometime soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be upfront and warn you all that I'm needy and comments keep me motivated (Kudos are nice too)!


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